Angelica sighed. Perhaps her mother was right. She did have a tendency to be quarrelsome, and Ian would surely leave her sooner if she aggravated him. “Then what should I do?”
“To begin with, you must pretend that nothing is amiss,” Margaret began. “And you must be gracious and obedient to him in all things.”
“That will be difficult,” Angelica replied bitterly. “I’m afraid I’m a terrible liar.”
Her mother set down her teacup with such force that liquid slopped over the rim. “You must. Even if you have to avoid his presence, you must behave as if nothing is wrong.” She leaned back in her seat and tapped her chin.
“Come to think of it, that is not a bad idea. If you rattle around this place like you did at home, one would not be at all surprised if he tires of you so soon. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Go to the shops, make social calls, and for goodness sake, make some friends! You are entirely too much alone, my dear.”
Angelica nodded. Perhaps Ian was taking her for granted already. The thought of him being tired of her made her feel chilled and queasy. And if she were to pull off behaving as if everything was perfect between them, she would have to avoid him as much as possible. Perhaps her absence would incite him to miss her and maybe, just maybe, goad him into reconsidering his decision to abandon her.
“Thank you for the advice, Mother,” she said as she stood. “I will try to heed your words.”
Margaret followed her from the room. “I do hope I was able to help. Now what were you thinking when you decided to play your infernal music at the ball?”
Angelica chuckled. Her mother would never change, it seemed. Anything out of the ordinary was anathema to her.
Angelica spent the rest of the day receiving callers and answering invitations. The Duke and Duchess of Wentworth arrived for supper just as Ian rose for the night. She avoided his gaze throughout the meal, knowing her heartbreak was pouring from her eyes. Instead, she focused all her energy on entertaining her guests. Her heart leaped in her throat as he approached her the moment the Wentworths departed.
“It seems we are now alone,” Ian said, his silver eyes gleaming. “How fortuitous.” He bent to kiss her.
How can he behave as if nothing is wrong? Angelica thought with an ache in her heart. “Ian—”
“Hush. I want to taste you.” Before she could protest further, his lips crushed hers in a hypnotic, drugging kiss.
She tried to remain numb and unaffected by his attentions, but her traitorous body melted in his arms and her wayward hands found themselves tangled in his hair. A sigh of pleasure, rather than a word of protest, passed her lips when he swung her up into his arms and carried her to the bedchamber.
When his magnificent body was bared to her, she was lost. At least I will have his lovemaking; I will at least have this part of him for as long as I can. Her eyes devoured him even as her heart cried, Oh Ian, why must you leave me?
She plunged herself into the hot fires of their joining, savoring each moment as if it were the last, and indeed it could be. She had no idea when he planned to abandon her, and to ask would kill her, lest his decision change from a few years to a few days. When their passion peaked to its poignant conclusion, her eyes burned with tears. She rolled from the bed and threw on her dressing gown.
“Leaving so soon?” he asked with a raised brow.
“I-I have an idea for a story,” she murmured. “I must begin writing before I forget.”
“What an industrious authoress you are.” He smiled. “I will eagerly await your return.”
She fled the bedchamber and ran to her writing room. Only when the door shut behind her, did she allow the tears to flow. I’ll never let him see me cry, never!
***
Angelica threw herself into a full routine. Every hour was occupied—and every hour was empty. She spent her mornings in her writing room, her afternoons receiving callers, and evenings attending balls or soirees, or hosting small dinner parties to which she invited writers, artists, and musicians. She was utterly and completely free to do as she pleased, yet utterly and completely miserable except for the brief moments she spent enveloped in Ian’s rapturous lovemaking. Only then did her excruciating heartache abate for a brief time.