“I have no right, and I can’t make you trust me either. You can always come up with a counterargument, but in the end, you will have to choose: Will you be my ally and trust me, or not? Besides,” he said with a grin, “did you believe I could ever hold you captive against your will?”
The last of my anger escaped me in a sigh. “I don’t know what to believe of you, that much is clear.”
“We’re allies, and I would never betray my ally. I am a man of my word. Honor is the only code we uphold, and I would die for it.”
His words rang true, and I had to admire that about him. It almost made me feel bad that I’d doubted him. “Then how did you leave things with the king? Was he not angry when you refused to hold me captive?”
“Furious, actually. But not enough to dare test his might against mine. You have nothing to fear from him.”
“There are worse things in this castle than a pompous little king,” I said.
Leif stilled. “What do you mean?”
“I came upon one of those hideous men from last night . . . cannibalizing my maidservant. He may not have been the size of a giant, but his strength was far beyond a mortal man’s. Can you make any sense of it?” I was reminded, suddenly, of the old gods appearing to us as crows and ravens and stags. “Do they have the power to transform themselves?”
His brows furrowed. “Many of the j?tnar have power over the elements, even over nature itself, but I haven’t heard of the ability to transform.”
I thought of the awesome beauty of nature, and nightmarish images of the snake-nosed Northman tearing into Aideen’s arm filled my mind. “But surely their behavior goes against nature. . . .”
“Not all the j?tnar are evil. Even Lord Odin’s mother is j?tnar.”
I shook my head at him. “And you didn’t think this was information I should know?”
“It never came up. The j?tnar we must destroy are the ones who call themselves the Bane of Odin.”
I remembered the king saying that during his conversation with Leif, and I frowned. “Are those . . . creatures we saw last night in league with Sigtrygg?”
Leif considered for a moment. “Sigtrygg is constantly seeking strong allies, and I’m sure they took advantage of that. I wouldn’t put it past the king to join forces with them. I think Sigtrygg may be even more interested in raids than my own people. He isn’t satisfied with merely being king of Dyflin; he wants to be king of all of éirinn.”
My stomach dropped at the news. “I knew he had designs on Mide, but I didn’t realize he was that power-hungry.”
“Enough so that he would form an alliance with abominations,” Leif said, disgust clear in his voice. “We shouldn’t remain in this city for much longer. The creature that attacked you—where is he now?”
“I killed him.” I touched my neck and took a shuddering breath. I could almost feel his hands around my throat once again.
“Alone? If he was truly j?tnar, then how could such a thing be possible? Did the Morrigan lend you aid?”
I shook my head, for once unoffended by his skepticism. The snake-nosed Northman was a superior foe; by all rights, I should have been dead. “I can’t explain it. He nearly choked the life from me, but I was able to grab hold of his mind and fight back. When I did, something strange happened. . . .” I trailed off as I tried to think of the right way to explain what had happened when I could barely understand it myself. “I separated my spirit from my body and was able to crush the giant’s heart.”
He nodded slowly, and I could tell he was as perplexed as I was. “I thank the gods you were able to—it scares me when I think of what could have happened . . .” He glanced at my throat and swallowed.
I lifted one shoulder and let it drop as though the mere memory of the battle with the giant—and what I’d found it doing to that poor girl—didn’t absolutely fill me with terror.
“Had you ever done that before—separated your spirit from your body?”
I hesitated. “Just once. After the battle in the Faerie Tunnel. I had no idea it was a new manifestation of power.” That thought reminded me of Leif’s kindness in caring for me, and I felt a blush creep over my bruised throat.
He reached out and ran a finger gently along my jaw. “Are you in pain? I cannot stand the thought of you being nearly killed.”
I stifled the delicious shiver that trailed along my spine at his touch. Why did he have this effect on me?
His eyes swept over my body, to the bed behind me. My pulse quickened. Unbidden, wanton thoughts of tearing the clothes from his body, my nails digging into the flesh of his back as I pressed myself against him came upon me. My body filled with heat. At the same time, disgust churned within me. What maid had thoughts such as these? About a murderous Northman, no less.
And now, a boy who had no intention of marriage—did the Northmen even marry?—who surely only wanted a night of pleasure, watched me with desire. He was my ally now, yes, but how could I forget that he had been my enemy? My lips parted to bid him good night, but the words would not come.
He took a step toward me, his gaze intent on mine. He was close enough to touch. Close enough to kiss. My breath hitched in my throat. I wanted him. For a moment, the temptation was so intense, I nearly succumbed to it.
He is a Northman, I reminded myself harshly.
I ducked my head and pushed back against his wide chest. “I cannot.”
Desire still burned in his eyes, but he took a step back. “You would deny you want this as much as I?” I could hear the disappointment hidden behind his words.
“I don’t deny it,” I said softly, “but it comes at too high a price.”
He took a step back. “I won’t push you. It’s enough that you continue to trust me.”
I flashed him a smile. “I never said that.”
A hesitant knock sounded from my door and we both turned. “Brother?” Arinbjorn called. “I must speak with you.”
Leif pulled open the door, and Arinbjorn hurried through, his features tense. “The other man has fled. I discovered it just now from a servant.”
Leif tensed. “Did the servant see where he went?”
“Only that he took his warhorse and headed toward the north end of the city.”
“Then we must follow. Arin, ready the horses. I will bring whoever is sober enough to come.”
“I’m sober,” Arin said.
Leif put his arm around his brother. “You must stay here. You have the makings of a great warrior, but that time hasn’t come yet. Ciara and I will track the other and, after defeating it, return here.”
Arin frowned. “I would rather go with you, brother.”
Leif’s expression brooked no argument. “You’re fortunate that I haven’t sent you home with an armed guard. You may remain with our men, but you will not go directly into danger.”
He nodded stiffly, and I shot him a look of sympathy. I knew it was hard at that age to be told you couldn’t fight, and yet I understood why Leif wouldn’t want his brother to face such danger. When I was only a little older than Arin, and my powers had barely manifested, I was riding on the beach when I spotted the sails of a Northman raider. I’d begged Fergus and Conall to let me stay, but they’d dragged me from the shore like a wolf will prevent a young cub from joining the hunt. Luckily, that particular battle had gone no farther than our shores.
Arin might have already learned the basics of fighting, but he wasn’t skilled enough to face these monsters—none of us were. I glanced down at my torn gown, suddenly desperate to change into my own clothing, my familiar armor. I looked up to find Leif watching me.
“I am sorry you cannot have a moment to rest,” he said gently. His eyes fell on my neck, and a muscle in his jaw twitched. “Your throat will likely cause you the most pain.”
It was one of many bruises and injuries, but I had long set aside the pain. It would torture me later, when I was at rest, but while I was still active and focused on other things, it was more than bearable. “I’ll be fine.” I took a step back, away from him and away from the concern in his eyes. “I’ll join you in the stables, but first I must change. This gown restricts my movement far too much.”
Arin snickered. “Not in pieces like it is.”
I shooed him away with an answering grin. “Go. Leave me. I’ll join you both soon.”
13