We find a quiet corner to stand and Finn rests his glass on the windowsill covered in sticky beer.
“Well, I hated you before tonight, and now, I want to fucking kill you,” I inform him in a low voice.
“Understandable.”
I gulp back the beer. Even if I could kill him, I wouldn’t. He’s the one link I have left to finding Rose again. “Has she gone? Did you send her Over?”
“She can’t go Over; you know that.”
The beer swirls around my stomach. “You think she’s in the Void?” The anger is taken over by panic. I’ve been there. I got out, but I’m not sure Rose would cope.
“Possibly.” Finn is back to neutral. Indifferent tone, expressionless face. Does he give a fuck?
“Send me after her then!”
“What if she isn’t there? And I can’t, can I? Only Darks can help you.”
Fuck. No. I’ve run from them for years, refused to do what they ask. I broke my promise to them. Or would they be happy to send me to the Void - or worse? The world around fades as I play through the options in my head. Could I get Rose out even if I went?
“I know what you did for your sister.” Finn’s voice filters through my thoughts about Dark and the Void; the thoughts my sister, Laura, was on the edge of. Flashes of the night they took her assault me and I rub my eyes as if that could wipe them away.
“I’m not talking to you about that.”
“I know you owe them your soul, Alek,” he says softly, “that they’ll take it to Hell if you don’t do what they want.”
“I’m still here, aren’t I?” I retort.
“Twenty years isn’t long to the Dark. They can wait, and I think that’s what’s happened here. They waited until there was something you needed their help with.”
I drink heavily until all that’s left is the white foam spreading down the glass. Finn knows and understands more than I realise, but this isn’t his business.
“Why exactly are you here, in this world?” I ask.
“I came here for Rose, but I can’t do what they want. I hoped I could fix her soul, but it’s impossible. All that happens is every time I touch her, I take back the energy I gave her.” Finn’s mouth tips down, and he stares over my shoulder so he doesn’t meet my eyes. “I think I just took the rest; I can’t believe it happened so quickly.”
“So you did kill her!” I say, too loudly, because the girls standing close by giggle. I look over and a pretty girl with dark hair smiles coyly at me. Oh, no way, sweetheart, you don’t want me touching you. I look back to Finn, who still refuses to meet my eyes. “Will you stop talking in fucking riddles and tell me what happened.”
Finn’s expression is hard. “She could be one of two places. With the Dark or in the Void. Allowing her to cross Over was never an option.”
“Why? She’s a good person, Finn!”
“For fuck’s sake, Alek, her soul is tainted.”
I stare at the TV screen on the wall playing music video clips but I don’t see anything, only images of the Void from my memories. The new energy filling my system from being amongst the humans gives me strength; the strength to put my hands around the Reaper’s neck and strangle the life from him. He can’t help. If only killing him was the answer.
***
The cool of the empty house alerts me as I arrive home. I hover between the kitchen and stairs, eyes closed in an attempt to detect Shades. Nothing. I call Lizzie. Nobody. I’m alone, more alone than I have been for years.
I drank too much tonight. My head is woozy; the walk home, when I stormed away from Finn, has done nothing to sober me up. Sinking onto the threadbare sofa, I stare at the wall, at the familiar places where the cracks make patterns in the wall.
If the Shades were around, I could allow one to attack me and go into the Void; but there’s no guarantee I’ll come out again and Rose might not even be there. I pull out my phone and check the time. Eleven pm. This is early for me; my shifts at the club sometimes stretch into the early hours, but I’m exhausted.
Where is she?
Chapter 23
ROSE
I snap my eyes open. Did I faint again? My head feels as if someone stomped on it, the same as always when I regain consciousness after blacking out, so I must have. The rush of recollection tells me I should be lying on pavers outside a house, but my face is on a cool, tiled floor. From the angle I’m at, I can see a row of black plastic and metal chairs lining the wall. The room is small; a bright fluorescent light above with empty white walls intensifies the brightness. I pull myself into a sitting position and listen. No sound.