I walk past an open doorway, and against my better judgement, I peek inside. A plethora of machines and wires cover the white-linened bed, and I can barely see the occupant. The noise one of the machines makes bangs into my memories. I swallow down the lump in my throat, pushing away the grey fog that follows me each time I visit ICU. Why do I torture myself?
I recognise the nurse in the room. Finn sits on the edge of the bed, his broad back facing away from me. I can’t see exactly what he’s doing; he could be checking vitals but he’s closer than nurses usually are to the patient, which strikes me as odd.
Chloe nudges me in the ribs, and I jump. “So, you and him?”
“Me and who?”
“Finn. He arrived after his break yesterday with carrier bags full of groceries and wine. We finally got out of him who the lucky girl was…so, how’d it go?”
My face flares and I fumble with the hem of my shirt. Why did Finn tell them about a semi-date? No, not date.
“You didn’t waste much time! He’s only been here five minutes.”
I back away from the doorway, in case he hears. “No. God, no. We’re friends.”
Chloe smirks at me. “Oh, really? I’ve never seen him even talk to anyone else, and here you are, with no need to come up here today. I think you guys want to be more than friends.”
My hot face must be bright pink by now, and the reaction surprises me. I think I need to reconsider my feelings about Finn; my subconscious is telling me something.
Reaching out, Chloe rests her soft hand on mine. “This would be good for both of you. I think you’re both a bit shy. Lost even?”
I smooth the hair escaping from my ponytail. “I’m not looking for anyone.”
Finn comes out of the room and stops. His expression shifts from surprise to neutral, but not quick enough for me to miss. I want to apologise for last night, but the conversation would be awkward in front of Chloe.
“Can I talk to you?” I ask him.
Finn glances at Chloe. “That okay?”
Chloe nods. “Yeah, you’re due a break. Did you finish checking on Mrs Taylor?”
“All done and duly-noted.” He flashes her a smile, the kind of smile guys use when they want something. “You okay to stay and talk?” he asks me.
I nod, and he walks away. Chloe makes a soft sound in her throat, and I look quizzically at her.
“Finn. Can’t figure him out. Sometimes he’s quiet as a mouse; other times, I could swear he’s looking down his nose at me. I can’t decide if it’s arrogance or he’s an introvert.”
“You should meet the guy I live with…”
Chloe’s mouth falls open. “You live with a guy now!”
“Not in that way! Jeez! I share with him and someone.”
“Oh, okay. Is he hot, too?”
Alek. Hot. Undeniably. “Yeah, but he’s a bit of a dickhead.”
“Most hot guys are. In my experience.” She tips her head to Finn. “Well, you can’t have them both, so let me know which is spare and I’ll try my luck.”
Her pretty face breaks into a smile, and she smoothes her hair and pouts. I push her and we giggle. Finn pauses and turns back.
“You coming?”
Chloe leans in and whispers in my ear. “See…He wants you.”
“Stop it!” I push her and she stumbles, eyes shining.
Catching up with Finn, my mood drops at the look on his face. Totally unimpressed. If I didn’t feel the need to apologise, I’d go back to Chloe.
“Sorry about last night,” I say.
“Not your fault your housemate is an idiot.” But he is pissed off about what happened, I can tell from his sour face.
We walk toward the room where the nurses take their breaks. “Do you know him or something?”
“Your housemate? No, I just know people like him. They think the world owes them everything and treat others like crap.” He pauses and I look into a genuinely concerned face. “Does he treat you badly?”
We step into a small room, a bench with a kettle and spilt coffee rest near a fridge. Nearby stands a couple of dilapidated armchairs. Finn clicks on the kettle and pulls out a mug. Just one.
“I don’t let people treat me badly. Ever.”
Finn nods. “Well, if you ever need my help, just let me know.”
“Oh, my God, are you serious?”
“What?”
“You. Offering to look after me like I need protecting.”
His eyes fill with surprise and a muscle twitches in his cheek. He looks like he wants to say more but shakes his head. “You did pass out the other day. I worry about you.”
This guy who’s known me all of two weeks is digging under my skin. Alek’s comments played on my mind last night—about how I don’t know anyone. Maybe I am becoming too attached to one person. “You hardly know me.”
The kettle boils and Finn turns back to pour water. I hug my arms around myself trying to figure out what’s going on.
“Will you tell me what happened to you?” he asks.
“What?”
“When you fainted, you said something before you came round, ‘Help Jamie, too’.”