He sputtered and I held up a hand.
“So look at it from my perspective and tell me if you saw my ex kissing me what you would do. I walked away. Go me. But then I come back and she’s throwing the contents of my locker all over the hallway. Shouting crazy shit about me putting a spell on you and wanting me to give her the gris-gris. I’ve had enough. The past week and a half has been extraordinarily shitty. This is my breaking point. I’m done. With everything.”
His shoulders hunched as his gaze met the ground. “I have so royally fucked up everything and I really don’t know how to fix it. From the second I met you, I’ve messed it up.” His yellow eyes met mine. “I know you have no reason to believe this, but yesterday I was with the Cazadores. I didn’t ditch you to hang out with her. I think she’s covering up what her dad’s up to by saying she was leading us to some vampires’ den that turned out to be bullshit.” He blew out a hard breath. “For the record, I don’t want her. At all.”
Good. I stared unblinking at him.
“It probably doesn’t matter to you—the hurt is still the same—but I didn’t kiss her back. I pushed her away, and told her what I’ve been telling her for months—that it’s not going to work out. And now I can say the reason is because I’m mated to you. You’re it for me. And now I’ve hurt you again because I was trying to spare an old friend’s feelings.”
Tears welled, and I focused on not letting them fall.
“I am yours,” he said. “If you’ll have me.”
“You can’t do this anymore.”
“Do what?”
“Say the right thing and then act like the opposite is true. One second everything is fine, and the next you disappear. What was that yesterday? You just run off. You disappear. You don’t call. You don’t text. I don’t see you or know if you’re okay until I see you kissing some other girl. I can’t do that. I can’t turn my emotions off and on like that. I’m either all in or all out. And if you can’t do that—if I don’t come first, then for God’s sake, leave me alone.”
He pulled me to him. “I will get this right. I swear. I wasn’t thinking.”
“Like I said on Saturday, I’m on shaky ground enough with this whole werewolf thing without adding a guy into the mix. Maybe we just need a break.”
He squeezed me tighter. “No. No break. We don’t need a break. I’m not perfect, but I get it. I can’t see you run away from me again. So we stop this. We’re all in, because there is no other option for me. You’re my mate. You’re it for me. You have to trust me.”
“Trust is earned.”
“Then I’ll earn it.”
I finally relaxed against his chest. “Promise.”
“I promise. You’re my mate. My other half.” He ran his fingers through my hair before tipping my chin up. “What happened in the hallway?”
God. He was going to say those nice things and then ask me that. Not cool at all. “It’s not important.”
He cupped my cheek. “Yes, it is. Please.”
“No.”
“Pretty please.”
I laughed. “Forget it.”
“You don’t have to be embarrassed. It’s just me.”
“Exactly. It’s you.”
He gave me the saddest puppy dog eyes, and my will to stay silent wavered.
This was going to be embarrassing. “I was so angry after I saw…I couldn’t get control. I left class before I could humiliate myself—”
“Humiliate yourself?”
I rolled my eyes. “You know. Go furry.”
He ran his thumb down my face. “That’s not humiliating. That’s what werewolves do.”
“Yeah. But not in the middle of class.”
“Sometimes in the middle of class.”
I tried to shove him away. “Do you want me to tell you or what?”
He nodded.
“So I went into the hall and she was going through my locker. She started accusing me of some whacked out stuff. Demanded I give her my gris-gris, break whatever spell I put on you.” I couldn’t stop the snort. “She pushed me into the lockers and something inside me snapped.” I shook my head, trying to rid my mind of Imogene bleeding beneath me. “Why did she say my arm was so gross? I mean I think it’s seriously weird. But I thought all of you shifted.”
“Not everyone can do that. Only shift part of their body. Do you remember how you did it?”
“No.”
“Are you sure?”
The little bit of trust I’d built up for him just moments ago started to crack. Was he going to call me a freak too? I tried to take comfort in what he’d already said, but a lifetime of rejection had me holding my breath.
I couldn’t stand it anymore. I broke away from his hold and sat on the ground, resting against the tree. “You’re making me nervous. Just say whatever it is and get it over with.”