“Do you think you could save me a dance?” It was unbelievable. She was standing there, staring at him like he was a real rock star.
“I just don’t know what I’ll do if I don’t get one.” She gave him another Snow Queen smile. I felt like I was trapped in one of Link’s dreams, or Ridley’s.
Speak of the devil. “Hands off, Prom Queen. This is my Hot Rod.” Ridley draped her arm, and a few other key parts, around Link to make her point.
“Sorry, Savannah. Maybe next time.” Link stuck his drumsticks in his back pocket and headed back onto the dance floor with Ridley and her R-rated dance moves. It must have been the greatest moment of his life. You would’ve thought it was his birthday.
After the song ended, he hopped back onto the stage. “We got one last song, written by a good friend a mine, for some very special people at Jackson High. You’ll know who you are.” The stage went dark.
Link unzipped his hoodie, and the lights went up with the twang of the guitar. He was wearing a Jackson Angels T-shirt with the sleeves ripped off, looking as ridiculous on Link as he intended it to. If only his mother could see him now.
He leaned into the microphone and began to do a little Casting of his own.
“Fallin’ angels all around me
Misery spreads misery
Your broken arrows are killin’ me.
Why can’t you see?
The thing you hate becomes your fate Your destiny, Fallen Angel.”
Lena’s song, the one she wrote for Link.
As the music swelled, every card-carrying Angel swayed to the anthem targeted at them. Maybe it was all Ridley, and maybe it wasn’t. The thing is, by the time the song was over, and Link had tossed his winged T-shirt into the bonfire, it felt like a few more things were going up in flames along with it.
Everything that had seemed so hard, so insurmountable for so long, just sort of went up in smoke.
Long after the Holy Rollers had stopped playing, even when Ridley and Link were nowhere to be found, Savannah and Emily were still being nice to Lena, and the whole basketball team was suddenly speaking to me again, I looked for some small sign, a lollipop, anywhere. The lone, telltale thread that could come loose to unravel the whole sweater.
But there was nothing. Just the moon, the stars, the music, the lights, and the crowd. Lena and I weren’t even dancing anymore, but were still clinging to each other. We swayed back and forth, the current of heat and cold and electricity and fear pulsing through my veins. As long as there was any music at all, we were in our own little bubble. We weren’t alone in our cave under her covers anymore, but it was still perfect.
Lena pulled back gently, the way she did when something was on her mind, and stared up at me. Like she was looking at me for the first time.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I—” She bit her lower lip nervously, and took a deep breath. “It’s just, there’s something I want to tell you.”
I tried to read her thoughts, her face, anything. Because I was starting to feel like it was the week before Christmas break all over again, and we were standing in the hall at Jackson, instead of in the field at Greenbrier. My arms were still around her waist, and I had to resist the urge to hold her tighter, to make sure she couldn’t get away.
“What is it? You can tell me anything.”
She put her hands on my chest. “In case something happens tonight, I wanted you to know—”
She looked into my eyes, and I heard it as clearly as if she had whispered it in my ear, except it meant more than it ever could have if she had spoken the words aloud. She said them in the only way that had ever mattered between us. The way we had found each other from the beginning. The way we always found our way back.
I love you, Ethan.
For a second, I didn’t know what to say, because “I love you” didn’t seem like enough. It didn’t say everything I wanted to say—that she had saved me from this town, from my life, my dad. From myself.
How can three words say all that? They can’t, but I said them anyway, because I meant them.
I love you, too, L. I think I always have.
She settled back into me, resting her head on my shoulder, and I felt her hair warm against my chin.
And I felt something else. That part of her I thought I would never be able to reach, the part she kept closed off to the world. I felt it open up, just long enough to let me in. She was giving me a piece of herself, the only piece that was really hers. I wanted to remember this feeling, this moment, like a snapshot I could go back to whenever I wanted.
I wanted it to stay this way forever.
Which, it turns out, was exactly five more minutes.
2.11
Lollipop Girl
Lena and I were still swaying to the music when Link elbowed his way through the crowd. “Hey, man, I’ve been lookin’ for you everywhere.” Link bent over and put his hands on his knees for a second, trying to catch his breath.