“Oh ho,” Bones chortled. “So even after all this time, she still hasn’t let you sample a taste? It’s for the best, mate, trust me. Mediocre is the most flattering description I could give to detail what lies between that woman’s legs. Makes me wonder why Mencheres bound himself to such a poor excuse for a female, but then love can be utterly blind. And shagless, if that were my wife. Now here is a real woman, in every sense of the word.” Bones pushed me forward. “In her sleep she’s more passionate than that lump of Egyptian clay you worship. Patra knows she pales next to her. Isn’t that why she’s tried so hard to have her killed? Because she knew no one would be deceived by her claims of superiority once the world got a look at Cat?”
“You will all die,” Anubus snarled. “Patra is the reincarnation of Isis and the goddess of this world. She has reigned for over two thousand years, and she can’t be stopped by insects who are lower than locusts!”
“You need to get laid, mate,” Bones kindly observed. “She hasn’t even let you rub one off in all these years, has she? Wants her guards to be pure and all that rot, right? Your unspent balls have warped your brain, they have. How long has it been since you’ve even gazed on a naked woman, hmm? Before or after Constantine converted?”
This verbal flaying was an unusual tactic for Bones, but he’d reasoned it was worth a shot. Ian, Rodney, and Spade had already tried other means, none of them pleasant, but Anubus had proved either unknowing or disinclined to reveal anything useful. I guess Bones’s continued barbs about having sex with Patra was the equivalent of some heckler boasting to the pope about how he’d nailed the Virgin Mary. Patra definitely wasn’t chaste, but if she’d had affairs aside from the infamous one with Bones, she’d been discreet about it. And she was notorious about declaring herself to be of divine lineage. Many of her people literally worshipped her. Anubus fell into that category.
“Are you picturing it yet? My hands on Patra, mmmm, how many mornings have you imagined it? Lying awake, wanting to murder me for it, and then to find out that all the while I touched her, I found the whole experience quite…lacking.”
Boy, did we sure have his full attention. Anubus’s eyes were blazing green and livid. “You’re not even worthy to be sacrificed to her. Patra only laid with you to sentence you to death, yet even there, Mencheres failed her. She should have just let me finish you that night as I wanted to.”
Bones laughed again, but lower.
“Think she was the first female who shagged me hoping it would lead me to my doom? Not nearly. That trick had been attempted before then and repeated numerous times after it. So no, sorry, that’s not why Patra was substandard in bed. It’s because she’s a fraud, a fake, and stripped of her lies—and her clothing—she was nothing more than a spoiled little girl with illusions of grandeur reinforced by such idiots as yourself.”
“The grave is coming for you,” Anubus roared, all composure gone. “She’s summoned it, and it will find you and swallow you down with unending hunger—”
And then he stopped. I didn’t have to see Bones’s smile to feel it. He straightened, all the bantering gone from him. Anubus’s face went blank, but it was too late. You fucked up, buddy, and you know it.
“Now, mate,” Bones said as he went to Anubus and settled his finger with deceptive lightness on his face. “Whatever do you mean by that?”
“Should we open the champagne, or wait to hose the boys off with it?” Denise asked.
We were seated in the living room, a formal place with earth tones and gilded pieces of antique furniture. The massive table looked like it was carved from a single gigantic tree. Food adorned it, along with solid brass and silver serving pieces, but no one really ate. I’d been drumming my fingers on its polished surface before I glanced up at her question.
“Hmm? Oh, go ahead and pop the cork. They’ll be a while.”
The reason I was here, instead of downstairs, was twofold. One, I didn’t want to leave Denise and my mother surrounded by strangers on a holiday, and two, though he didn’t ask me to leave, I knew Bones didn’t want me below. Since they now knew Anubus was hiding something and not just ignorant, the gloves would definitely be off. It bothered me that Bones still thought seeing him like that would change how I felt about him, but I didn’t want him distracted over me. Not when lives might depend on how fast he got the information out of Anubus.
Denise poured the champagne. “This stuff is excellent,” she enthused. “Man, is this place ever stocked. Did you see all the brandy? I’ll need a new liver if we stay here long!”
Her cheerful mood made me smile, but with a touch of jadedness. No, she had no idea how ugly things were downstairs by now. If you stay around vampires long, though, I mused, you’ll learn. It’s not all fun and vintage liquor.
Instead I said, “Fill her up. There’s two hours before midnight, we may as well start the party. The last report from Zero was that they were making progress, whatever that means.”
While Bones, Mencheres, Spade, Vlad, Rodney, and Ian were below, Tick Tock and Zero were our guards. Hell, we wouldn’t even be able to stub our toes without one of them jumping in to prevent it.
“The snow’s died down,” my mother commented. “At least now you can see out of these windows. I can’t wait to leave this barren place—and just for the record, I won’t be waiting much longer.”