“What?” I asked, and my heart dropped to my stomach. “Why would you…” I wanted to argue, but the strength had gone out of my words.
“He’s in love with you.” He lifted his head and looked up at me. “Do you know that?”
“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I stammered. I walked over to the bed, needing to do something to busy myself, so I pulled up the sheets. “Loki is merely –”
“I see your auras,” Tove interrupted me, his voice firm but not angry. “His is silver, and yours is gold. But when you’re around each other, you both get a pink halo. Just now you were both glowing bright pink, and your auras intertwined.”
I stopped and didn’t say anything. What could I say to that? Tove could physically see how we felt about each other. I couldn’t deny it. I kept my back to him and waited for him to go on, for him to yell at me and accuse of me being a slut.
“I should be mad,” he said at length. “Or jealous. Shouldn’t I?’
“Tove, I’m sorry,” I said and looked back at him. “I never meant for this to happen.”
“I am jealous, but not the way I should be.” He shook his head. “He loves you, and I… I don’t.” He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “The other night, when I had the break down, and I hit you –”
“That wasn’t your fault,” I said quickly. “That never changed the way I felt about you.”
“No, I know,” he nodded. “But it got me thinking. I only have so much time before I completely lose it. These abilities, they’re going to keep eating at my brain until nothing is left.”
“No matter what happens, I’ll be by your side.” I stepped closer to him, trying to reassure him. “Even if I care for…” I paused, still not wanting to admit how I felt about Loki. “Other people don’t matter. You are my husband, and I am with you in sickness and in health.”
“You really would, wouldn’t you?” Tove asked, almost sadly. “You would take care of me if I lost my mind.”
“Of course I would,” I nodded.
It had never occurred to me to leave Tove, at least not because of what happened the other night, or if he became sick and frail like Elora. Tove was a good man, a kind man, and he deserved as much love and care as I could give him.
“That makes what I’m about to say so much harder.” He sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed.
“What?” I sat next to him.
“I realized how little time I have,” he said, “before my mind completely goes. Maybe twenty years, if I’m lucky. And then it’s gone.
“And I want to fall in love with somebody.” Tove took a deep breath. “I want to share my life with somebody. And… that somebody isn’t you.”
“Oh,” I said, and for a moment I felt nothing. I didn’t know how to feel about what he was saying, so my body just went numb.
“I’m sorry,” Tove said. “I know what you’ve given up to be with me, and I’m sorry that I’m not strong enough to do the same for you. I thought I was. I thought because we were friends and I believed in you as Queen that would be enough. But it’s not.”
“No, it isn’t,” I agreed quietly.
“So, Wendy, I think…” He paused, taking another deep breath. “I want a divorce.”
And then it happened. I started to cry. I’m not sure why exactly. A combination of relief and sadness and confusion, and so much else that I’d been struggling to hold in. I was happy and relieved but sad and frightened, and a million other things all at once.
“Wendy, don’t cry.” Tove put his arm around me to comfort me, the first time he’d really touched me since we’d been married. “I didn’t want to make you sad.”
“No, I’m not sad.” I shook my head and wiped at my eyes. “I’m overwhelmed. And you’re right. We should get an annulment.” I nodded and stopped crying almost as soon as I started. “Sorry. I don’t know where that came from.”
“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Tove asked, eyeing me up.
“Yes, I am.” I smiled weakly at him. “It’s probably the best thing for us both.”
“Yeah, I hope so,” Tove nodded. “We’re friends, and I’ll always have your back, but we don’t need to be married for that.”
“True,” I agreed. “But I want to wait until after this is all over with the Vittra. In case something happens to me, I want you to be King.”
“Are you sure you want me to be King?” Tove asked. “I’m going to go crazy someday.”
“But until then, you’re about the only person I trust that has any power,” I said. “Willa would be a good ruler someday, but I don’t think she’s quite there yet. She can take over for you, if you need her to.”
“You really think something’s going to happen to you?” Tove asked.
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “But I need to know that the kingdom will be in good hands, no matter what.”
“Alright,” he said. “You have my word. We’ll stay married until after the Vittra are defeated, and if something happens to you, I will rule the kingdom to the best of my ability.”