Apocalypse Happens (Phoenix Chronicles, #3)

“Women. Or men. Depends on my mood.”


Jimmy the vampire liked sex—any way, any time, with anyone. How could I have forgotten?

Because I’d tried to forget—that and everything else about this version of Sanducci.

“Getting back to my plan,” he continued. “You fuck the Dagda—I’ll watch.” He winked. “I’ve always wanted to see you in action, but it’s a little hard when you’re on top of me. Actually”—he grabbed himself like Michael Jackson on a Thriller reunion tour—“it’s a lot hard when you’re on top of me.”

Vampire humor. Gotta hate it.

“Once you absorb his power, I’ll kill him”—he shrugged—“or you can. We’ll toss that stupid collar of yours into the fire and then—” He flipped his hands over in a voilà gesture that would have been more nonchalant if a few drops of blood hadn’t flown free. “Together we’ll rule every world that there is.”

“Let me ask you something.” Jimmy lifted his eyebrows as I strode closer, then I knocked on his forehead with my knuckle. “Are there more voices in there than two? Is one of them named Samyaza?”

“You think I’m the Antichrist? No, baby.” He rolled his eyes when I snarled. “I think that might be you.”

“Me?” I squeaked.

“You didn’t guess?”

“Huh?” Why was I always three steps behind? Sure, I’d been a little lax when it came to listening in church, but still—I was the leader of the light. Why didn’t I know anything?

“The destroyer, the beast—whatever they’re calling him these days—possesses the one who releases him.”

“So?”

“The Grigori flew free when you killed the woman of smoke.”

According to Ruthie, they’d already been freed and not by me. But I should see where he was going with this, find out what Vampire Jimmy knew.

“Again I say, so?”

“It must have been something you did.”

“Which was?”

“Got me.” He tilted his head, and one dark lock fell over his black and red eyes. The gesture was so Jimmy. The eyes were so not. “You been hearing any whispers in there?” He smirked as he repeated my own question back at me. “Are there more voices in there than two?”

“Enough.” I turned away before he could see the truth. He’d scared me. “Where’s the Dagda, Jimmy? Don’t make me beat it out of you.”

“You’d enjoy that.”

“I would.” I took a deep breath and faced him again. He was so close my breasts brushed his chest, and as usual, I’d never heard him move. I slammed the heels of my hands against him. “Back off.”

He must have been prepared for that reaction, because he didn’t move an inch. Instead his gaze lowered to what I first thought were my breasts, then realized was my neck. More specifically, my collar.

“I could take that off,” he whispered. “You and me, together, we could do some damage.”

I stepped out of his reach. “I think that’s what Ruthie has in mind. You and me. Doing some damage.”

His lip lifted, like a dog, except dogs didn’t have such pointy fangs. “I don’t take orders well. Even when I’m Stupid Jimmy.”

“Stupid?” Sanducci was a lot of things, but stupid had never been one of them.

“Wimpy, whiny. Everything this one—he slammed his palms against his chest with a solid thunk—“isn’t.”

“Keep that up and you’ll break some ribs,” I said.

His snarl became a smirk. “Worried?”

“No, I’d just rather do it myself.”

The screaming, which had continued in the background all this time, suddenly stopped.

“What was that?” I murmured.

“One of the Dagda’s women.”

I jolted. “What?”

“He likes it when they scream.”

“And you think I’m going to do that guy just to get his magic?”

His eyes when they met mine were more black than red, and when he spoke I heard the old Jimmy far more than I liked. “Sooner or later you’ll have to sleep with someone just for their power.”

“Maybe. But I’ll choose later and someone else.”

The red flared brighter. “I don’t think you get to choose.”

“You certainly don’t.”

I thought he might attack, and I wanted him to. Right then nothing would have made me happier than beating the ever-loving crap out of Sanducci.

“He will kill you, light’s leader.”

I whirled at the soft-voiced comment. The Dagda had slipped into the cave and now seemed to fill every inch of spare space. No wonder his women screamed. He was huge all over.

I yanked my gaze from the Frisbee-sized metal that covered his privates. “I’m not that easy.”

The Dagda’s ruby lips curved. “With this around your neck . . .” He reached out, his long, long arm stretching farther than I’d have believed possible, and drew a finger along my collar. “You are yet human. He is not.”

“I could beat him.”

“But you wouldn’t kill him, because you need him for the coming fight. And that weakness would be your undoing.”