“You were as far as I knew. Your mother was dead, your father a mystery.”
I stared into the familiar dark eyes set in a face that was far too young for them and wondered. Had Ruthie ever lied to me? She’d omitted a helluva lot, but an out-and-out lie? I wasn’t sure. I did know that if she’d lied, she’d had a good reason. I also knew that if she’d lied for that good reason, she certainly wasn’t going to admit the truth to me now just because I’d asked.
“You’ll meet her soon,” Ruthie said, “and then your questions will be answered.”
All my life I’d craved a mother. Even after I’d found Ruthie, or she’d found me, and the constant ache had faded, I’d still wondered; sometimes I’d dreamed. Now I had a mother, and she was a double-damned half demon. Or maybe a quarter demon. So what did that make me?
Same thing I’d always been.
A freak, but a very, very powerful one.
“Okay,” I managed. “Where do I go from here?”
“Infiltrate the Nephilim, take the book, do whatever’s necessary to send the Grigori back to Tartarus.”
“I don’t believe the Nephilim are going to buy my defection.”
“There’ll be tests.” Ruthie sighed, and glanced away again. “There always are.”
“What kind of tests?”
A long, dark finger tapped against the glittering stones of my dog collar. “There’s a reason for this. A reason for everything.”
“The only way to fight them is with a darkness as complete as they are,” I murmured.
“Exactly.”
“Jimmy—” I began.
The boy’s huge palm cupped my cheek, but Ruthie stared out of his eyes. “I’d never send you there alone, child.”
Then the kid blinked, and she was gone.
“Wait—” I began. But it was too late. “Shit.”
Luther dropped his hand from my face and backed up. I tried not to be offended when he rubbed his palm on his pants.
“Sounds like you need to go,” he said.
“Wish I knew where. I doubt the forces of evil are all gathering for a convention in a town called Hell.”
“You never know.”
My gaze sharpened. “Do you know?”
He shook his head and silence settled between us. I wasn’t sure what else to say. Take care. Watch your back. Trust no one. Kill first; ask questions later. He knew all that, had probably known it before he’d met me.
“Well”—I cleared my throat—“no sense hanging around.”
“You gotta fly to Milwaukee? Have the gargoyle let you back into . . . ?” He pointed to the ground.
“No.” I reached into my pocket and pulled out a plastic bag containing a spoonful of dirt. “I have a key.”
“Stole earth from the Otherworld.” Luther’s mouth curved. “Nice.”
In truth, I hadn’t stolen it, though I should have. I hate to admit it, but possessing the key to the lock on the Otherworld was nothing short of an accident.
If I’d been thinking clearly, if I’d still been the me I once was, I never would have left Jimmy behind with no way of getting him back. That I had only showed how far away from the old me I’d come.
When I’d returned from the Otherworld, I’d found grit in my hair, underwear and socks, so I’d gathered it into my palm; then I’d put it into this bag.
“If Sawyer shows up . . .” I paused and Luther tilted his head, waiting. I sighed. “Never mind.”
“He could help,” Luther said. “Just let me know where—”
“No,” I said. All I needed was for all three of us—or four, or even five if Luther told Sawyer and Summer where we’d be—to go charging into Nephilim land. That would really look suspicious. I still wasn’t sure how I was going to manage it.
I headed for the nearest hill, which in New Mexico was more of a mountain. I wouldn’t need to go all the way up. Considering how I’d gotten in the last time, I figured a foothill would do.
On the way, I glanced back at Sawyer’s place. I thought Luther would be watching, maybe he’d even wave, but he was gone.
The wind swept across the desert, dry and hot, ruffling the short, shaggy length of my hair. I found myself straining to hear Ruthie’s whisper on that wind, missing it and her all over again. Sometimes I was so damn lonely.
I’m here, the demon whispered.
“Not for long.”
The only response was more laughter.
I lay on the crackling dry scrub, ignoring the rocks that cut into my shoulders. Quickly I took a pinch of earth, held it up to the clouds, thought better of the angle considering the wind and lowered my arm before releasing it.
The remnants of the Otherworld cast across my cheeks and chin like silt, and like before, the ground beneath me churned as the sky fell away, and the earth closed in.
Darkness reigned. I didn’t dare breathe. For a long, terrifying instant, I lay caught between one world and the next. My muscles tensed as I prepared to fight my way out; then the earth beneath me loosened, and I tumbled free.