The urge to unveil himself and the nausea faded. He could still help the rebels. Whether they won or lost, they would need someone to transport them to safety. It was the role Baluka had chosen for him. Though the Raen had suggested Tyen find a way to avoid being there, he hadn’t told Tyen not to attend.
Tyen would make sure as many rebels escaped as possible. After all he had done, it was a responsibility he would not abandon, not even, perhaps, for Vella.
PART SEVEN
RIELLE
CHAPTER 20
Dahli had chosen the most uninteresting place in all the worlds to teach Rielle pattern shifting. It was a room, as wide as it was deep and tall, with no decoration to relieve the grey stone walls. Even the door was dull–a slab of the same stone that formed the walls. Air circulated through small, unadorned holes in the ceiling, making no noise and maintaining an even, comfortable temperature. The only light was the spark she kept alive with magic.
At first she had welcomed the lack of features, as nothing could distract her from lessons, which required intense concentration. Then the sheer boringness of her surroundings began to fascinate her. She began thinking of ways it could be even more uninteresting, or how she might decorate it. Occasionally she woke from nightmares where the room had transformed into something sinister. Then, to keep away a lurking panic that threatened to overwhelm her, she concentrated on recalling or visualising every step of the creation of a painting or a tapestry.
A range of emotions had come and gone: anger at the room’s refusal to provide stimulus, fear that she would never escape it or go mad before she did, and a gloom that sapped her resolve. Eventually she found acceptance. Either she would succeed at her task and escape the room, or Valhan would decide she had failed and set her free. It was just a matter of time.
Not that she was imprisoned here: Dahli had made it clear she could stop the lessons at any time. Only her determination to do all she could to learn pattern shifting kept her there. If she failed, she, Dahli and Valhan–especially Valhan–would know she had put all her effort into trying to achieve it.
“You use magic unconsciously all the time,” Dahli had told her on the first day. “Your body uses it to heal, but it does only what is required to keep you fit enough to survive. When you consciously use magic, you are doing more than what is required. Your body will leave a scar, as that is good enough; you will go further and remove the scar if you can.
“As a sorcerer, you have a natural, instinctive ability to draw in magic and shape it to a purpose. You may feel it is conscious and deliberate, but it is only in the same way that you focus on the muscles in your leg when you deliberately take a step. We walk without thinking about it all the time. Just as the function of each muscle happens without you willing it, you use magic in ways that you are not aware of.
“To shift a pattern you must know it. You need to understand your body to the finest degree to change it. So to begin, concentrate on a muscle in your leg and study what happens when you move. Seek more detail and understanding. Do this long enough, strive hard enough, and your body will use magic to enhance your awareness.
“And throughout your time here,” he added. “I want you to lower the block that prevents me from reading your mind, as otherwise I won’t know when to set you the next exercise, or when you are ready to leave here.”
Then he had left her, only returning once a day when she required food and water and other necessities, each time taking everything away as soon as she was finished. At least, she assumed it was once a day. She had no way of knowing for sure. He always looked for and erased the marks she made on the walls to keep track. Once she’d gouged them in deeply with magic. The dust had left her coughing for hours afterwards. He’d simply smoothed the wall again.
She’d hated him at that point. She’d resisted a powerful urge to leave the room. If she’d been able to travel between worlds, she would have fought the temptation to escape that way. Only pride and determination kept her in place. Valhan wanted her to learn this, so she would do everything she could to achieve it, not give up when she’d barely begun.
Staring at her leg, she had flexed the muscles over and over, trying to actually see with her mind and not simply imagine what was inside. Her awareness gradually shifted and expanded. What she saw and understood was fascinating, and drew her to look closer, and one day she knew she had grasped what she needed to because the door opened and Dahli entered empty-handed, smiling.
He did not stay long.