“Really, what’s wrong with it?” Vhalla persisted, taking a step forward. “Have you ever read about it? Have you ever taken the time to learn about it? Have you ever spoken to a sorcerer without closed-minded fear?”
“Why would I?” Roan squared her shoulders and planted her feet. “It’s not something good people should bother with; I thought you knew that. Your father served in the War of the Crystal Caverns.”
“That wasn’t the fault of magic, if you’d actually read—” Vhalla began.
“I can’t believe it,” Roan interrupted sharply. “What happened to you? I thought we were the same. I let you have Sareem because that’s what friends do. I thought you would treat him well. I let it slide that you lied to me about you and him, but I was fine because I wanted him to be happy.”
“What?” Vhalla breathed. “You let me have Sareem?” Roan’s sudden anger, her looks over the past weeks, the sense of betrayal, it all came into focus. “You like him.”
“What?” It was Roan’s turn to be taken aback.
“You, you’re in love with Sareem.” It wasn’t a question. Roan shot her a seething glare. How hadn’t she seen it sooner? Vhalla laughed at herself.
“What’s so funny?” Roan asked defensively, no denial of the accusation in sight.
“It’s funny, because you should have taken him.” Vhalla shook her head. “I don’t want him, not as a lover.”
“What? How could you not? Then why?” Roan was flabbergasted. “What do you want then?” The blonde’s prior anger and frustration melted into confusion. “Your books? The Heartbreaker Prince?”
“No,” Vhalla said softly. “I want a place you hardly dare to even whisper. I want the bravery to not only read, but to do. I want a man, not a library boy. A man who is tall and witty and knows more about the world than you would ever dare dream.
“So listen, I am going to go into this world, and I don’t care if you and your narrow mind cannot be a part of it. Go to the Golden Bun tomorrow when the moon is a third in the sky. Meet Sareem there in my place. Tell him you love him, tell him I don’t, and go live your lives.” Something in Vhalla’s gut ached. She wasn’t sure what from. Be it her harsh words or the harsher truth they stemmed from. She had loved these people, and they attacked her without asking her what the changes in her life meant, what the truth was. Vhalla had never known the pain of rejection like this and all it made her want to do was reject them just as coldly in return.
“What are you wrapped up in?” Roan whispered. Her anger and frustration had shifted to a sympathy that grated Vhalla.
“I’m simply learning where I’m meant to be.” It was the only response because it was the truth.
“Vhalla, listen, I—”
“I think you should go, Roan.” Vhalla motioned out the door she held open before the other girl could finish her sentence.
“If you’re in trouble, we can help.” Roan stopped in the doorframe.
“I don’t need your help,” Vhalla responded coolly.
Roan met her gaze, and they stood a long moment. In all their past tiffs this would be the time when one of them would smile, crack a joke, and they would laugh. This would be the second that they hugged and flopped onto the bed to talk about how stupid they were and then share gossip before running off to dinner.
The sun sunk lower into the sky. Vhalla wasn’t about to be that girl. Apparently, neither was Roan.
The second the door closed, Vhalla rushed to the small portal that was her window, gulping in the evening breeze. Tomorrow, she would speak to the master before heading to the Gala. Vhalla stared off at the horizon and wondered if she could have a window as big as Larel’s in the Tower.
IT WAS EASY to wake up and get ready the next morning. Vhalla hadn’t actually slept. Her mind had spent the whole night processing everything that had happened. Things were moving faster than an avalanche, and it felt like her only option was to run with the moving ground under her feet—or be swept away by it.
The master would be headed to the library about now. Even during the Festival of the Sun someone had to tend to the books, and if the majority of the apprentices were off enjoying the celebrations, then it fell to the master.
Vhalla tugged on the hem of her shirt as she made her way through the mostly-deserted halls to some of the better levels of the palace. She would have to make her conversation short and direct.
Soon she found the courage to knock on Mohned’s chamber door. She waited, shifting her weight from foot to foot and fidgeting until she heard a soft shuffling sound right before the door opened. The timeworn and hunched frame of the master was swathed in a crimson robe.
“Vhalla?” Mohned adjusted his spectacles.
“Master, I need to speak with you,” she said before her resolve was lost and all hope along with it.