A Thousand Pieces of You

“What?” His face pales so suddenly that I think for a moment he might pass out. “What—you said—Henry’s dead? He’s dead?”


The astonishment and pain I see are very real. Some people are good enough actors to feign shock, but shy, uncertain Paul Markov has never had that kind of game. There’s no way he could fake this kind of horror, or the tears I can see welling in his eyes.

It hits me then, a blow more stupefying than sharp: Paul didn’t kill my father.

“Oh, God.” Paul wipes hastily at his eyes; he’s trying so hard to stay focused. “How can Henry be dead?”

All those moments that have tormented me over the past few days—Paul smiling at his birthday cake, listening to Rachmaninoff, standing in the doorway of my bedroom. Those were real. Paul is real.

But then what the hell is going on? If Paul didn’t kill Dad, who did?

“Wait. You thought I killed him?” Paul says it with none of the anger I’d feel in his place. He’s just completely confused, like he has no idea how I could ever believe anything so weird. “Marguerite, what happened?”

“His car went into the river. Someone had tampered with Dad’s brakes.” My voice sounds small, not like my own.

“You have to believe me. I didn’t hurt Henry. I would never do that.”

“It really looked like it had to be you.” And as soon as I realize that, I realize something even worse. “I think someone framed you.”

Paul swears under his breath. “Why on earth did Theo bring you along?”

“Why do you keep acting like it’s all up to Theo? I chose to come. I have to find out who did this to Dad.”

Then it hits me—this wave of anger. I thought I knew who to blame for Dad’s death, before; I thought I knew who to hate. Now I don’t. For the past few days, my hate has been the only thing keeping me going. I feel naked, unarmed.

The train curves through the tunnel, and the floor beneath us rocks back and forth. All the ads flicker slightly. Paul’s face is half in shadow like the album cover of Rubber Soul.

“I’ll find out who hurt Henry.” Paul takes one step toward me. “I swear that to you.”

“If it’s not all up to Theo, then it’s not all up to you either! Okay, so, you didn’t kill Dad or trash the data. Then who did? Why did you run?”

He startles me again. “I didn’t kill Henry, but I did destroy the data at the lab.”

“What? Why?”

Paul puts his hands on my shoulders. I flinch. I can’t help it. He jerks away, as though he thinks he might have injured me. “Tell Theo I’m sorry. When I saw him earlier, I thought—I blamed him for something he didn’t do. I realize now he was only trying to do something for Henry—” His voice breaks again. Our shared grief pierces us at the same moment, an electrical shock of feeling traveling from him into me, or from me into him. “But tell Theo that he has to take you back home, now. The sooner the better. It’s the most important thing he could possibly do.”

“No. You have to explain.”

He says only: “Go home. I’ll fix this.”

Then the train rocks on its track hard enough that I stagger. In the second before I can catch my balance, Paul clutches his Firebird in his hand, and—

It’s hard to describe exactly what happens next. Although nothing moves, it feels vaguely as if a breeze has stirred the air around us, changing something indefinable about the way Paul looks. He lifts his head, as though startled, and he brings one hand to his torn lip and winces. When he sees the blood on his fingers, he doesn’t seem to remember how it got there.

Then I realize the Firebird is no longer around his neck. There were no crackling lights, no unearthly sounds, nothing like that; one instant the Firebird was there, and now it’s not.

Paul is gone. He’s leaped ahead, into yet another dimension.

Which means the guy standing in front of me now is . . . still Paul Markov, but the Paul who belongs in this world.

The train pulls into its next stop. I grab one of the poles to steady myself; Paul does the same, but clumsily, like he hardly understands what’s happening. Then I realize he doesn’t. He’s standing here on this train without any memory of how we got here, or even who I am.

“What’s going on?” says Paul/not Paul.

“I—” How am I supposed to explain this? “Let’s get off the train, all right?”

Although Paul looks understandably wary, he follows me out, through the station, and onto the street.

We’re in an entirely different section of London now, or so it seems; this part looks more like the city I remember, with more old buildings, no hoverships in the sky. It’s started to rain again. We duck under a storefront awning, and by now Paul looks less confused, more unnerved. “Where am I?”

“London.”

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