Amy paused. Why had she done it, really? She hadn't paused to think about it in the moment. Her feet had started moving and she had known what to do. There had been no doubt in her mind that it was the right thing. She knew now that it was a mistake – a huge, epic, terrible mistake that had destroyed the lives of too many people, organic and synthetic both. But in the beginning, she had just been trying to help.
We all know what happens when you try to help.
"I did it because Portia was hurting people," Amy said.
"Hurting people, or hurting your mother?" Dr Sarton stood. "You didn't tell the people to run, Amy. You didn't stand between Portia and your father. You ran right up those stairs and you pounced on the woman who was hurting your mother."
"She killed Nate! She was going to kill my mom!"
"Did she have any peroxidase with her? Did she have a taser?"
"No, but–"
"Did your mother look like she was in pain? Had she suddenly gained the ability to suffer, while you were busy accepting your little diploma?"
"I don't know! But I couldn't just let Portia keep hitting her, she was my mom, and I loved her–"
"Yes! Exactly!" Dr Sarton snapped his fingers and grabbed her by the shoulders. "You loved her. You loved her more than you loved anybody else in that room. More than your friends or your teacher or even your father. You chose your mother, your fellow robot, over them."
Sarton seemed to remember who exactly he was touching. He let go, and pulled his smoking jacket a little tighter around himself. "Don't you know how special that is?" He swallowed. "People have been working for years to bring your gifts to life. Since the very moment the failsafe was conceived of, humans have wanted to see how it might fail. If you knew the patents I had to wade through, the otaku braggart bullshit, the fanboys and fangirls who had claimed to have hacked your clade–"
"People wanted this to happen?" She didn't want Portia to be right about this, too. "You wanted this to happen?" Amy asked.
Dr. Sarton smiled ruefully. "Your shell has always possessed a very devoted fandom. It was only a matter of time until one of us successfully remixed the code. If I go through Portia's memories, maybe I'll find out who it was." He looked a little shy, now. "And then I'll ask them how they did it."
Javier's fingers touched Amy's back lightly. His voice was in her ear. "I'll wait outside."
The door shut behind him.
Dr Sarton stood a little taller as he watched Javier leave. For the first time, Amy realized that Sarton might have been a bit intimidated by Javier. Not because Javier would ever hurt him, but because he was just so much better looking.
"You're very human, Amy." Sarton nodded to himself. "That must be why he stays with you."
"What?"
"It makes sense. You've spent more time with a wider variety of humans than most other vN. You learned human behaviour from children, who are far less guarded than adults. Naturally you're more human-seeming to other vN." He resumed his seat and crossed his legs. His top foot wiggled back and forth. "You're probably triggering his failsafe. That's why he hasn't left you behind. He can't, even though he should. You're a great danger to him, you know. Javier was already a wanted man before, but now…" He shrugged.
He was right. Maybe not about what motivated Javier – Amy had no way of knowing that – but about the danger she'd put him and his boys into. She had to make it right. Amy leaned down to his eye level. "How many visas did you arrange?"
"Just the one–"
"That's not good enough. In fact, this whole exchange hasn't been good enough. I came to you for help and you gave me the choice between selling my story and selling my body. That's your idea of me getting my life back, and it's absurd." She licked her lips and made sure Sarton saw it. "Since I absorbed Portia, I've done my best not to hurt any humans. I've fought her every second and I haven't always won. And I am very, very tired."
Look at those pupils. Look at that blush. Look at those beads of sweat. He wants this moment so bad he can taste it. Pathetic.
Dr Sarton's damp face trembled. Suddenly Amy saw her mother there, saw Portia holding her face. Slowly, she stood up – but not all the way.
"I need at least two more visas."
He nodded. "OK. I'll see what I can do." He tried to smile. "If it helps any, I've found you a safe place to stay while you decide. Or rather, Rory found it for you. A car will come and pick you up, once you're on the surface."
Amy instantly felt sorry for intimidating him. "Thank you. That's very kind of you."
"I really do want to help you, Amy. I know that must be hard to believe, coming from a human, but…" His lips thinned. "I know what it's like to have a family curse."
ONE
Tourist Trap?