touch

“I made a deal with Ahgred, thinking it was Morik,” I admitted once Morik closed the front door behind us.

I turned to him, peeling off my jacket. The motion pulled at the sore spot at the base of my spine. Morik’s gazed narrowed catching my hesitant, jerky movement.

“And I think he marked me,” I added despondently.

I felt like crying. I didn’t know what we’d see when we looked. I presented my back to him and lowered my pants just enough to expose the painful area.

Gran sucked air through her teeth.

“How bad is it? Did I undo it all?” I feared Ahgred had removed the link Morik and I had forged.

Morik’s warm hand traced two twisting lines up the sway of my back. “Our link is still here, Tessa. Don’t worry.” Bracing my hands on my legs, I flinched when he touched the tender spot, tracing it only half as far as the other lines. “He added his own link.”

“It looks raw,” Gran said. “Let me get some first aid cream.”

“I’ll change first.” I kept my pants pulled away from my back. Now that I’d moved it away, anything touching that spot hurt.

In my room, I dug out my pajama pants and folded them down low on my hips. On top, I put on a sport bra, not wanting anything to stick to my lower back. I finished pulling my hair back into a messy bun and shuffled back out to the living room feeling miserable.

For a while, it felt we all had a chance to find our happy endings. Now I felt like I held the loose threads of an unraveling blanket. How could I let Ahgred mark me?

“Tessa what did you gain from the deal?” Morik asked as soon as I returned.

Thinking of what I’d gotten in exchange just made the deal worse. “I’m not sure what I really got, but what I asked for was to go to the dance with you.”

“Can you recall how you worded it? Exactly?”

He was suspicious too. Not good. “A single touch in return for a single night, the night of the dance, with you. I said your name, Morik.”

He nodded and watched me lay on my stomach on the couch. Gran bustled over with the cream and dabbed it on. Immediate cooling relief followed her touch.

“Gran, I’d like to take Tess to my place with your permission.”

I didn’t turn my head to look at them. Instead, I stayed facing the back of the couch thinking Aunt Danielle was being unusually quiet.

The material under me shifted from couch cushions to white comforter. “I’m sorry, I screwed up, Morik.” Would Ahgred’s mark make it harder to finish our link?

“I don’t see how you screwed up. You made a deal to spend more time with me. I would never consider that a screw up.”

“But the mark…” I turned my head to look at him. He lay on the bed next to me. The temperature of his home warmed me.

“It doesn’t mean anything other than he hasn’t given up.” He smoothed a hand over my hair. “So you really want to go to this dance?”

“Not bad enough for Ahgred’s mark.”

“There had to be something that you wanted that enabled the deal. If not the dance, then something associated with it.”

How could I tell him I wanted to experience things just in case I died? He would think I’d already given up. We still had a little more than three months. Instead of saying anything, I lifted myself up on my elbows ignoring the pain and pulled myself closer to him. I still didn’t know what he expected from me, where or how far he saw our relationship going.

Half lying on his chest, I leaned in to take a chance. My lips met his softly. Warm. Everything about him warmed me. I brushed my lips over his, feeling the slight rise of his lower lip. No holding back. Heart hammering, palms sweating, I used my lips to catch his lower lip.

As soon as my lips parted, he growled a low rumble emanating from his chest, growing in volume.

Clueless beyond our typical kiss, a gentle press of lips, I didn’t know if Beatriz’s suggestion had been literal, but I went for it anyway, catching his lips between my teeth. The growl turned to a groan. I released him and pulled back.

For the first time in weeks, the void of his eyes assured me. I bent my head and gave his lip the barest lick, a tiny touch of my tongue.

Like touching him first, and kissing him first, I unlocked another aspect of our contact. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, cupping the back of my head and pressed his mouth to mine. At the first touch of his tongue, I forgot to breathe and my heart skipped a beat. My hands wandered to his hair. Mostly to capture his face as he had mine to ensure he wouldn’t leave me before I was ready.

This moment, this kiss, defined the purpose behind my deal with Ahgred. I didn’t want to die before I could experience what could have been.