With a sigh, I got out of bed. I didn’t rush. Instead, I let my mind wander as I got dressed pulling on faded jeans, cami and a thrift store hoodie toting the University of Hawaii.
As I brushed my teeth, I realized what I was doing. Stalling. I’d always known where I stood with a boy, thanks to my touch. This time, I was in the dark. It sucked. Rinsing, I stared at myself in the mirror wondering how Morik saw me. Was I interesting to him? Did he hope that I wouldn’t choose him? That thought had me cringing at myself in the mirror.
I grabbed my mom’s makeup bag and rifled through the contents. I usually didn’t take the time to wear make-up, but since I’d need a late note anyway, I smudged on some eye-liner and brushed on mascara. Then, I stood there hesitating.
A knock on the bathroom door almost made me scream. I opened it quickly surprising Gran.
“Are you okay?” she looked at me worriedly. When she studied my eyes, she smiled lovingly. “You look very pretty.”
I hugged her and whispered that I was fine.
“Morik’s been waiting for you. I think he’s getting worried that it’s taking so long. I took pity on him and said I’d check on you.”
I nodded and turned off the light before following her to the kitchen. Morik stood by the table holding my jacket. I couldn’t meet his eyes. Instead, I looked at the scarf, gloves, and school bag that lay in a pile on the table waiting for me.
“Sorry I took so long,” I said quietly, taking the jacket. Suddenly in a hurry, I shoved my arms in the sleeves and quickly looped the scarf around my neck before zipping up. I stole fleeting peeks at him. His gaze didn’t leave me.
“It’s no problem.” He handed me the gloves. “Everything alright?”
I nodded, taking the gloves and shouldering my bag. “Yep. All set. You ready?” Forcing myself, I met his curious gaze. He studied me for a moment and then nodded.
He led the way, holding the door for me as I called good-bye to Gran. The motorcycle waited as usual. My uncertainty ate at me as I sat behind him with my arms wrapped around his waist.
He pulled in front of an unusually quiet school. Obviously, the second bell had already rung. Getting off the back of the bike, I handed him the helmet with a quick thanks. He caught my hand as I turned away, stopping me.
“Are you going to tell me what’s bothering you?”
“No.” The answer popped out before I could stop it so I tried to cover it up. “I’m late. I have to go.”
He released me and I made my escape into the school. Being in school didn’t stop my runaway thoughts. Even if Morik were interested in me… in kissing… it didn’t stop my worrying about what my future would be with him.
Beatriz commented on my distraction several times before lunch and tried prying the reason out of me when we sat down at our table. Too worried that Morik might be somewhere listening, I shrugged off her friendly concern.
After showing up to first hour late, the day had gone downhill. Some of the guys I passed were giving me weird looks and it wasn’t just my imagination. After the lesbian rumor, I’d gotten some strange looks, but this was different. It wasn’t until a boy from my English class made a second attempt to start a conversation that I remembered I’d worn makeup.
When the final bell rang, I met Beatriz in the hallway. We walked to my locker as I listened to her talk about the current rumor she’d heard in gym.
A random boy I’d never seen before called my name stopping me in the hall. Ignoring Beatriz’s smirk, he asked if I’d like to get something to eat after school. A slight blush crept into his cheeks when he finished speaking.
I reached out to touch his arm lightly out of habit. Our future played out before my eyes as I gently declined his invitation. A good and kind person, he’d love me until the day he died. I couldn’t do that to him.
“You know,” Beatriz commented in an unusually serious voice, “You looked upset that you had to say no. For someone who has no boyfriend, you say no a lot.” I wondered where she was going with her observation. “Maybe you’re spending too much time with Morik and not giving anyone else a fair chance.” There was nothing I could say to that because it was true. “I’d be more than willing to go on a double date with you if you’re worried about leaving Morik out.”
The sincerity in her voice stopped me from laughing at her angle. “Are you saying you’d be Morik’s date so I could date other guys?”
“Sure.” She looked at me hopefully.
“Beatriz, if you want to make a play for Morik, go for it. Just don’t be upset if it doesn’t work the way you hope. He’s got some strange rules for himself that he strictly adheres to.”
“Oh, like what?”
I snorted, “Like the girl needs to make the first move.” I pulled open my locker and started sorting through my books.
“Seriously? I could do that.”