She’d thought about that, and took a minute to think about it some more. For a long time she’d wanted to hide completely, unable to stand anyone looking at her. Cringing at anyone touching her. But a part of her dreamed of loving someone, having someone love her back. There was a very good chance that wasn’t possible. “I don’t know.” She swallowed hard and pulled the cuffs of her shirt down farther. “I have a lot of scars.”
“Everyone has scars, Hannah. Even if you can’t see them. Maybe this man isn’t the one, but don’t write people off before you give them a chance.”
“But they’d have to see me if I ever…” The thought of a man seeing her naked body made her stomach turn.
“It’s okay if you’re not ready for that. Baby steps. Trust with a man is developed just like trust with anyone. When you find the right person, you’ll know.”
A cardinal landed on a feeder outside the window, pecked at the seeds before flying off again. “How will I know? If I always misjudge—”
“How many people have you really misjudged? Because if it’s only one—”
“It was a pretty big one.”
“Hannah, you were fourteen years old.”
“Old enough to know better.” She’d trusted him. Thought he was her age. Thought he was her friend. He’d been neither.
“You have to stop blaming yourself.”
Hannah almost laughed at that. There was so much blame circling over and through her family, it seemed to clog everything.
“There are people who lie, people who are evil. They’re to blame, not you for believing them. And when it comes to this man you met? So maybe you misjudged his feelings, but trust me, you’re not the first man or woman to stumble through that minefield and you won’t be the last. Everyone gets their heart broken.”
She wondered if Mia was thinking about Nick. What they’d had, what had ended.
Mia reached out and covered her hand. “It would take a lot of trust, but when you feel safe enough to try, you will. And when someone means that much to you, you’ll want to.”
A sinking feeling settled in her gut. Because, for the first time ever, a man other than her brothers had meant something to her. And she had wanted to try.
But he wasn’t interested. And he didn’t even know all the reasons he shouldn’t be.
Chapter 9
Stephen raised and lowered the weights in each hand, counting out another set, barely noticing the million-dollar view from his home gym. Finishing, he set them down and moved to the incline bench for crunches. The stock exchange tape from Friday’s closing ran across the bottom of the muted flatscreen and each time his body rose, he made a mental note of the information. Just because it was Saturday didn’t mean he couldn’t work.
He breathed out forty-eight when his cell rang. He grabbed it on the third buzz. “Hello.”
“Hi, Stephen. It’s Abby.”
“Hey. What’s going on? Everything okay?” She’d never called him before, couldn’t imagine why she ever would.
“Oh, yeah, sorry. Everyone’s fine, but I’m kind of in a bind and I wondered if you could help me.”
“Sure.” Relieved, he picked up a towel. “What’s up?”
“Well, I’m supposed to take Gracie out to ride horses with Hannah today, but my car won’t start and Matt’s buried in renovation problems. I was wondering if you could give us a ride. I assume you know where it is.”
Yes. He knew, though not for the reason she thought.
“If you’re busy, I understand,” Abby said. “I can call Tony, or your dad. I just thought of you first.”
“Hannah knows you’re coming?”
“Of course. She invited us at the party, remember?”
And then honored that invite in spite of what he’d done. “I’m happy to help you, Abby, but Hannah and I…we aren’t together.”
“Oh. Well, shoot.”
An awkward silence followed.
He had no excuse. Even had an SUV gathering dust next to his Porsche. He sank onto the bench and ran a hand through his sweaty hair. “I can still take you.”
“Really? I hate to ask, but Gracie’s so excited. She’s been counting the days.”
“No problem.”
It shouldn’t be a problem.
—
Gracie skipped along beside him as they walked to the barn, so overflowing with sunshine and rainbows, you couldn’t help but get splattered with it. The three of them passed a stocky gray-haired man carrying a young boy in his arms. A boy with no hands, but rounded nubs of skin several inches below the bend in both elbows.
“Mommy, did you see—”
Abby pulled Gracie along when she would have stopped. “Don’t stare, baby.”
“But Mommy, what—”
“He lost his hands somehow,” Abby said softly.
Hannah had told him what she did, but it hadn’t really registered. He hadn’t pictured children with missing limbs.
The car door opened and closed behind them and Gracie turned her head. “He looked sad. I’d be sad too if I lost pieces.”
Gracie’s innocent words twisted hard in his stomach. His youngest brother had lost a piece and J.T. was well past sad. A second later, they reached the barn and Hannah stepped out of the shadows.