“Come on, Diana,” Theo said. “Let’s do this.”
Diana hesitated, and Alia wondered if she knew just how much of Theo’s pride was wrapped up in this moment. She breathed a small sigh of gratitude when Diana said, “Okay, but only for a second.”
“Me first!” shouted Nim.
“But I—” protested Theo.
“I called it, and by Holy Right of Dibs, it is mine.”
Theo rolled his eyes. “Go on,” he said. “I hope it melts your tiny brain.”
Diana bit her lip and formed a loop with the lasso. “You’re sure?”
Nim bobbed her head. “Hit me.”
Diana slipped the rope over Nim’s head and down to her shoulders.
Suddenly, Nim’s eyes went blank. She sat up straight, slack-jawed.
“Nim?” said Alia.
“What do you wish to know?” Nim replied. Her voice was oddly formal.
“Umm…what should we ask her?” said Alia. “Quick!”
Diana frowned. “I’m not sure. I’ve never seen anyone react that way.”
“Did you cheat on our U.S. History final?” said Alia.
“The system is corrupt. It was my duty to subvert it.”
“Are you kidding?” said Alia.
“I must tell the troooooth,” said Nim. “You should own more than one color of lip glossssss.”
Alia punched Nim in the arm. “You are the worst.”
“I am the best. See? Truth. And I can’t believe you would ask me something that boring. Of course I cheated on the history final. Mr. Blankenship is a terrible teacher. If he wants to bore me to death, he should expect me to cheat on his crappy test.”
“What was I supposed to ask you about? Were you the one who put shaving cream in Alicia Allen’s locker?”
“Yes, but only because she kissed me at the harvest party and then pretended it never happened and then called me a lezzie to all her friends.” Nim clapped her hands over her mouth.
Alia stared at her. “Are you serious?”
“I—I didn’t mean to say that.” Nim’s eyes looked slightly panicked. “I…” Sweat broke out on her brow, and her breath came in shallow pants.
Diana pulled the rope free. “I’m sorry! I warned you.”
A tremor passed through Nim’s body. “That was so weird.”
“Alicia Allen?” said Alia. “Really? You’re always saying how awful she is. You said she had a face like a weasel.”
Nim scowled. “She’s actually kind of human when she isn’t with her crappy friends. I don’t know. Not a lot of girls at our school show an interest, okay? I don’t get to pick the lesbians.”
“My turn!” said Theo.
Jason picked up a stick and jabbed it into the fire. “This is a bad idea. We should stop.”
Theo shuffled over on his knees and crouched in front of Diana, his back to the flames. “Ready.”
Alia saw the look that passed between Jason and Diana. Jason gave the barest shake of his head. Did he really think Theo would get hurt? Or was he afraid of what Theo might say?
Diana considered for a moment, then looped the lasso over Theo’s body.
Alia searched her mind for something silly to ask him. She knew what she wanted to say, but even if they’d been alone, she still wouldn’t have had the guts. Have you ever seen me as anything more than Jason’s annoying little sister? Could you? Just thinking the words made her cheeks flame.
But before she could order her thoughts, Nim said, “Did you or your dad tip off those Germans so they could attack the museum?”
“Nim!” Jason said sharply, but Diana made no move to draw back the rope.
“Of course not,” said Theo, his face shocked. “I didn’t know anything about it.”
“What about your father?” Nim said harshly.
“No!” shouted Theo.
Alia felt a tiny knot of tension beneath her ribs unspool.
Theo yanked the rope free and cast it aside. “How could you even think something like that?”
“We were all thinking it,” said Nim. “Your dad disappeared at a pretty convenient time.”
Theo rocked back on his heels, staring at them with wide, hurt eyes. “You really thought I could be involved in something like this?” He turned his wounded gaze on Alia. “You thought I’d help people hurt you?”
Alia shook her head furiously. “No! I…” What had she believed? That she was destruction walking. That Theo or his father would be entirely justified if they wanted her gone.
“There are spies on Jason’s security team,” Diana said gently. “Informers within Keralis Labs. No one knew what to think.”
“What about you, Jason?” Theo asked.
Jason scrubbed a hand over his face. “You could have tipped someone off without even realizing it.”
“So I’m not evil, I’m just incompetent?”
“Theo—” Jason began. But Alia had the feeling whatever he said next was just going to make things worse.
“My turn!” she blurted. They all stared at her. “For the lasso,” she continued. “Put it on me, Diana.”
“Seriously?” said Jason.
Diana hesitated, but the pleading in Alia’s eyes must have done the trick because she gave a disbelieving shake of her head and said, “All right.”
“Great!” Alia said with false enthusiasm. “But only one question.” Under her breath, she whispered, “Nim, help me out here.”
“Got you,” murmured Nim.
“You’re sure about this?” said Diana.
Absolutely not. Why hadn’t she thought of some other way to change the subject? An interpretive dance. How ’bout those Mets? Really, the options were endless.
She tried to look calm as she let Diana loop the lasso gently over her shoulders. Its fibers were cool against her skin, and Alia felt a curious lightness overtake her. She saw that she feared the lasso because she feared everything. That she was afraid of the world in a way that Theo didn’t seem to be, or Nim or Jason. That she loved Nim but resented her ease with people. That she feared Nim would tire of her, stop wanting to be her friend, go off to have adventures with someone more fun. That Nim would never forgive her for the trauma of the last few days. That Alia simply was not worth the trouble. All these truths passed through Alia’s mind in the barest second, horrible in their clarity. Every small lie she’d ever told herself torn away to reveal something ugly but unburdened beneath.
She saw Nim open her mouth to ask a question, but Theo said, “What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done?”
“Oh, I know the answer to this,” said Nim with relief. “She fainted in gym class.”
Alia parted her lips to agree, but instead she said, “I wrote Theo a love letter.”
“What?” Nim shrieked.
“What?” Jason barked.
“Oh,” said Theo, looking a little stunned. Or was he totally horrified? She couldn’t tell.
Diana was already leaning forward to remove the lasso.
Alia wanted to blurt a denial. Her mouth formed the words to say “Just kidding,” but instead she heard her own voice saying, “When I was thirteen. On pink princess stationery, and I sprayed it with lemon Pledge because I didn’t have any perfume. I put it in one of his books.”
This was easily the worst moment of her life, and that included every recent near-death experience. Diana yanked the rope over Alia’s head, but Alia couldn’t get free fast enough. She wriggled it past her braids and stood up, heat flooding her cheeks.
I’m going to die right here, she thought, eyes jumping from Nim’s grimace to Jason’s wince to Diana’s worried blue gaze. She refused to look at Theo. Because the earth wasn’t going to do her the courtesy of opening to swallow her. She’d live with this humiliation burning through her every time she looked at him, the same way it had been for months after she’d given him that note.