The Pillar wasn’t sure what was going on. He didn’t want to break Carroll’s arm to get the pill. But, looking at his watch, he knew he was losing time.
“She will die, Carroll,” Pillar said in Carroll’s ear. “This future is a mistake. What’s done is done. I can go back and save her. She doesn’t have to take the same route again. She just messed up.”
The corpse’s hand stiffened even more.
“It’s not her fault, Carroll,” the Pillar pleaded. “Let me help her. She saved your life, for God’s sake. This is only a possible future. You of all people know this. We can always change the future.” The Pillar was fighting a tear, threatening to break his lifetime record of never crying, not once.
He gently put his hands on Carroll’s chest. “For the sake of the good memories, Carroll,” the Pillar said. “Don’t let what happened after the circus do this to you. She needs to live, find the keys, and save the world. For the sake of your memories with her in the garden in Christ Church.”
Carroll’s stiffened hands loosened a bit at the Pillar’s last words.
“Remember those days, her playing in garden, behind the door to Wonderland? Remember her fluttering hair, the sparkling eyes of a child who loved rabbits and turtles? The girl who hated books without pictures and lived in the minds of every child in the world until this day?”
Carroll’s hands shifted, giving way for the Pillar to reach for the pills. They were still intact inside a plastic bag in his chest pocket. Three pills. Probably preserved in the same manner Carroll’s corpse was.
The Pillar took the pills and tucked them in his back pocket. He grabbed for the shovel and said, “Now it’s time to bury you again, old man.” He sighed. “Not that burying your corpse lessens your presence in the world. Somehow you’re immortal.”
A few minutes later, the job was done. The Pillar rolled his sleeves back down and put on his suit. He walked out toward the motorcycle, counting on the trick of time to get back to Alice as soon as he could.
On his way, he stumbled across a set of tombstones outside the church. He was sure they hadn’t been here in the past, and wondered who was buried next to Carroll. Who died in the future and deserved this burial place?
The Pillar stepped up and read the name on the tombstone. It didn’t make sense, but it hurt reading that name. Someone was going to die in the future, sooner than anyone would have expected.
And boy, what a loss that would be.
Chapter 39
THE FUTURE: OXFORD STREETS
Every now and then I manage to open my eyes for a few seconds. Dying is a horrible thing. I feel I am being stripped of everything I have, one second after the other. My skin, my vision, my hearing, my breath, and my soul. All is withering away.
The fire truck seems to have been flipped on its side, because I see things at a ninety-degree angle. Tom is in an awkward position, firing the water hose in all directions. But it doesn’t look like a lasting plan.
I see the poor dog, now awake, swimming in a pool of puddles, trying to escape the Reds’ bullets. Bandersnatch bullets. If I could just stand up to save the poor thing from the human madness…
But I can’t. My eyelids droop on me again. It’s so hard to flip them open again. It’s like pushing open a gate of steel.
“No!” I hear Tom scream.
My vision is almost gone.
The only thought that comes to me is: What kind of a lame hero am I?
No wonder I’m not leading the revolution in the future. I am assuming I wasn’t up to the mission and failed somehow. That’s why I am hiding beyond the walls of a so-called Wonderland compound. What kind of future scenario is that?
And my children? How can I leave them like this? I am really hoping Tom is right, that there is another version of me, a real responsible mother, who will take care of Tiger and Lily in this life.
As for me, it looks like my time has come. It wasn’t such a bad ride, I tell myself. I saved a few lives, didn’t I? Of course, I killed those on the bus earlier, but like the tattoo on my arm rants: I can’t go back to yesterday because… blah blah blah.
A shot resonates in my head. A scream follows. Adrenalin pumps into my thin veins, a little push that helps me open my eyes again.
“I’m here, Alice,” a voice tells me. It’s the Pillar. “I’ve got the pills.”
“Really?” I cough blood.
“I just need to straighten you up and shelter you somewhere safe, or a stray bullet could end us both.” He begins to pull me into a shaded area. I can’t make out what is what. The world is upside down, skewed and ridiculous.
“That’s it.” He lays me back against the truck’s front, I believe. “Can you swallow it?” He tucks the pill into my mouth.
I shake my head, realizing my jaw has tightened. I can hardly give the pill a kick with my tongue.
“Don’t worry,” the Pillar says, pulling something nearby. “Thankfully, we’re in a fire truck.”