Why the fuck did you ever think having a girlfriend would be a good idea?
Of all the things that could bring me to my knees—drugs, alcohol, fame—it’s one infuriating little girl who turns out to be my kryptonite.
Well, fuck her.
If she wants to be unreasonable, that’s fine.
I ball my fists at the burning sensation in my gut.
What the hell is wrong with her? I’m trying to fix this and make her feel better, and she’s pushing me away. I can’t help my past, and it doesn’t bother me—I was single and young and in a band—but I can’t help her because she clearly has an issue with my sleeping around.
I want to fucking throw something.
Calm down. You’re soon going onstage.
“What did you do?” Milo’s voice makes me jump. He’s standing by the door, holding it open.
Twisting my head, I growl, “Why do you think it’s my fault? She’s crazy, man.”
He laughs. “Love often is.”
“I made a mistake.”
“No, you didn’t, and you know it. Don’t ever let her hear you say that because you’ll never be able to take it back.”
Shoving my hands through my hair, I let my shoulders sag. “I don’t have the first clue what I’m doing here.”
Milo leans against the wall. “You’re not the only person to feel like they’re navigating a minefield. Some relationships are complicated and hard, but that doesn’t mean they can’t work. I let Lexi walk away. Things got messy when the band started to travel, and the more of a name we made for ourselves, the more she slipped away from me. I think I did the right thing because I would’ve only held her back. If you let Texas go, it will be the biggest mistake of your life—or the second. That little ninja tattoo is horrendous.”
“Oh, fuck off, mate. Just because you’re a pussy and can’t handle a needle…”
Milo rolls his eyes. “I don’t need any work.”
“You’re a dick.”
“You ready to sing your little ninja heart out?”
“You ready for me to beat you with your drumsticks?”
Coop bursts through the open door. “What are you two wankers doing? Your mother’s meeting over? Enigma is killin’ it, and we need to get ready to smash it out of the park.” He nods his head and walks back toward the stage.
Milo and I follow him.
“Coop, what would it take to get you to settle down with a woman?” Milo asks.
Throwing his head back, he holds his stomach and laughs. “Fuck. Nice one.” Shoving Milo’s head, he adds, “Angelina Jolie. That’s it.”
I roll my eyes. He’ll never change.
“She ain’t ever gonna look at you, dude. Give it up,” I say.
“I’m way handsomer than Brad.”
“You wish,” I say, knocking him into the wall.
He retaliates and thumps my arm. It hurts, but hell would freeze over before I showed it.
“I love you two arseholes, you know that?” he says.
“I’m not doing a group hug,” I warn.
Milo slaps my chest. “I’m with this guy.”
“Let’s do this,” I say when it’s time to go on. I can’t wait.
Time to forget Texas for a while.
I take off, running down the steps, like they’re on fire. Running my hand through my damp hair, I growl. That was horrific. Our fans deserved more.
Two people try to approach me, but I put my hand up, and they soon back off. I’m not in the mood. I need to get out of here.
“Dude, wait up!” Cooper shouts. “What’s going on?”
“I bombed. That’s what’s going on!” I snap.
“Whoa. Look, man, we might know that wasn’t the best, but the audience lapped it up. They fucking loved us.”
Yeah, shame there’s only one person I need to love me right now, and she’s not here. Because I pushed her away.
“What was that out there?” Milo asks.
Coop puts his arm out to stop Milo from getting any closer.
“What? I’m just wondering what the hell is going on. I thought you were cool. Are you sick, mate?” Milo asks.
“Something like that,” I reply.
“Why didn’t you say so? If you’re not well enough to perform…”
I cut him a look. If I broke my leg halfway through a set, I’d strap it up and carry on until we were done.
You don’t let your fans down. Period.
Maybe it wasn’t a bad performance, but I wasn’t on top of my game, and that’s not okay by me.
“All right, I get it,” Milo mutters, backing down.
“Look, let’s get back to the hotel. Don’t sweat it, bro. We rocked.”
Who would’ve thought Coop could be so…normal?
His usual advice is to shag or drink any troubles away. I can drink it, but I can’t shag it because I don’t think Tex will be in the mood.
Right now, I could really do with losing myself in my girl.
I nod to Hank, who is standing within earshot, and then I turn to the boys. “Come on.”
We have a couple of things to do before we can leave, like always, but I’m not up for any sort of party or anything where I have to be around people. I’m not good company right now, and the only company I want comes in a bottle.