I turn around and see Kitt fail miserably in his attempt to smile. That hit him hard, too. His eyes are brimming with guilt.
Dad’s phone starts to ring upstairs. He groans as he gets up to get it. Both Kitt and I are relieved. His posture immediately relaxes, and his fists unclench. The second Dad’s out of sight, Kitt is in front of me.
How did he move so quickly? I gulp and tilt my head to face him.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” I reply, breathless because of how close he is.
“Really? You’re pale, and you look like you’re going to hurl.”
Wrapping my arms around my stomach, I shrug one shoulder. “I’m not good with lying to him. It feels…”
“Yeah, I know. He trusts me with you. Shit. But he won’t take it well. You know that.”
“I do. This isn’t something we can just hit him with, but the alternative isn’t easy. I’ve never lied like this.”
He sighs and looks up to the ceiling. “I’m sorry, Tex.”
“It’s not all on you. We just need to find a way to start preparing him for us, like you could stop sleeping around, and then maybe in a few weeks, I can tell him I like you.”
“I’ve already stopped sleeping around.”
A smile creeps on my face. “Believe me, I’ve noticed.”
“I’ll handle this however you want.”
I blink away a tear. “I hate lying. Why couldn’t you have figured out you liked me after the tour, huh?”
Things would have been so much easier. For one, we wouldn’t have all been cooped up together for months. Dad would have had space and time to work through his dreams for me versus reality.
“Timing, hey?” He smiles and places a kiss to my forehead.
Footsteps coming closer have him jumping back. He dashes over to the table and sits down.
I turn, so my back is to him because that, right there, him rushing off, is exactly why I hate this so much.
Focus on the good. You have Kitt Daniels!
But you could fuck up your relationship with the guy who gave you everything…
Whatever I do from here on out, someone isn’t going to be happy, and that’s hard to accept.
KITT
WEDNESDAY, MAY 13
BERLIN, GERMANY
“Good night, Berlin!” I shout, raising my arm in the air.
The crowd goes wild, begging for another encore.
Cooper removes his top and swings it around on the end of his finger. He’s such a fucking show-off. “Until next time, motherfuckers!”
I jump on his back as we walk off. He’s sweaty and gross, but neither of us gives a shit. Fourth show, and it just keeps getting better and better. I drop down off Coop’s back, and he gives me a playful shove to the chest.
“Kitt, that was epic!”
“We were epic,” Milo says, chucking his arm around my neck and rubbing his fist on my head.
I swat him away, laughing.
Backstage, Texas is waiting. I lock my muscles to stop myself from running to her. Mark is here still, and I can’t do what I want to in front of him.
“That was awesome, guys!” Tex says, rushing forward.
She hugs Milo first, which makes him smirk.
She’s doing it, so Mark won’t suspect.
Cooper is busy, running his mouth a hundred miles an hour to Jimmy, so she comes for me next. I’m so ready to have her in my arms.
She gives me a knowing smile before I wrap her in a tight hug that tells her what I can’t voice right this second—or at all.
I love you is possibly the hardest fucking thing in the world to say.
“I’m so proud of you,” she murmurs against my neck.
“Thank you.”
At the same time, we back up. I’ve not held her for nearly long enough, but Mark is watching, and it’s making me feel sick. Because of him, I’ve just finished my fourth show.
“Come on,” Milo says. “Shower and after-party.”
Tex turns and walks beside him. “I’m so not showering with you.”
He nudges her. “Ugh, you’re no fun.”
I don’t know if it’s because I’m with her now, but Milo seems to be winding me the fuck up at every opportunity.
“How did that feel?” Mark asks.
Grinning, I slap his back. “Indescribable.”
“I remember that feeling.”
I frown. “You’ve lost it?”
“No, but it becomes the norm almost. You’ll look after her tonight?”
Dropping my eyes, I rub my chest. “You know I will.”
Your idea of looking after her and his are two different things. He won’t like yours.
“Can I ask you something?” He looks over and gives me a nod, so I continue, “If someone hits on her…”
“I want you to kill them,” he replies, looking me dead in the eyes.
We stop walking, and I frown.
“I’m joking, Kitt. Texas is her own person. As much as I hate it, I can’t stop her from seeing anyone. I just hope the person she chooses is the right one.”
The right one. What does that mean? Someone like her ex?
Mark liked Xander. He was safe. He never challenged Texas, and he never did anything to piss her off.
I piss her off daily, and I’m never going to roll over and follow. I’ll argue back, I’ll push her, and I’ll never have a nine-to-five.