She’d had enough of his insults. “I’m getting a little sick of your attitude.”
“Is that the thanks you’re giving me?” He stepped closer, and the water rippled around him. “I’m trying to keep you from dying.” His voice was low and rough, and his gaze unwavering. “There are plenty of things that you should be scared of. You should be scared of the other recruits, and of the Guardians. And you should certainly fear what will happen to your soul if Dagon chooses you. But why you’re scared of shallow seawater is beyond me.”
“Because the sea is full of death. I don’t understand how you can’t see that. You can smell the decay a mile away. It’s nature’s graveyard.”
“What gave you this idea, that the sea is full of death?”
Maybe it was a little irrational, and she didn’t need a psychology degree to connect her fear of the ocean with her father’s murder victim. But she couldn’t exactly tell Lir about that. At best, he’d exile her, just as Estelle had. At worst, she might find herself on the wrong end of one of his knives. And it wasn’t like she had a strong chance against a giant sea demon with the powers of a god.
Still, she could stick close to the truth. She closed her eyes. “I saw a man with no face on the beach in South Boston.”
He shook his head. “What are you talking about?”
“When I was little. There was a man who’d been murdered. His face was blown off by a shotgun. He was on the beach, and I found his body.” Lir didn’t need to know the part about how her father had killed him.
“When?” he asked, his voice barely a whisper.
“Almost ten years ago. I think about it whenever I think of the sea.”
His face paled, and by his expression, she knew she’d screwed up. “That was a Guardian. Like I said, the dangers of drinking too much. Makes you vulnerable.”
Lir’s father. Murdered by Danny. She wanted to throw up.
He rubbed a hand over his mouth, staring at the water. For once, he seemed to be at a loss for words.
“Anyway, it has nothing to do with swimming, so forget I said anything,” she said.
He gazed at her and stepped closer, cupping her face in his hands. “I’m going to show you something. Close your eyes.”
Taking a deep breath, she shut her eyes and pushed out all her thoughts of the slimy rocks beneath her feet. Lir pressed his forehead against hers, and in the next moment, she seemed to be floating underwater. But somehow, she wasn’t scared. She could breathe. Instead of rottenness, she saw life.
Pearly sunrays streamed through sapphire water, shining on seahorses and lionfish. On the ocean floor, silky seagrass undulated gently among orange, crimson and gold sea urchins. There was a music to the ocean, profound and resonant, and the deep waters almost seemed like their own sort of cathedral.
The underwater scene disappeared, and she found herself floating on the ocean’s surface at night. The stars blazed above, brighter than she’d ever seen. All around her in the waves, phosphorescence sparkled, as if competing with the stars. Like a witch’s oils.
The ocean gently rocked her, its deep, melodious music an ancient lullaby.
Then, as quickly as the visions had come, they disappeared. She was rib deep in the icy waters again, in the harsh daylight. Lir’s eyes were before her, the same emerald green as the seagrass.
He lowered his hands. “You see? Dagon gives life, too.”
She longed for the visions again. “How did you do that?”
“That’s how I see the ocean. That’s how you need to see it if you want to be one of us.” He stepped away from her.
“Thank you. For everything you’ve done for me.”
He traced his fingers over the water’s surface. “Do you remember what I taught you about sailing? What you need to know for tomorrow?”
She nodded. “I’ve got it all memorized.”
“All I need to do now is teach you to sail by tomorrow.” The water rippled under his fingers. “Fiona, I have a feeling the other recruits might come after you during the trial.”
“Rohan won’t.”
“Maybe not, but if you’re on a boat with Ives or Ostap, I don’t think it will end well for you. They’re accusing you of killing Berold. And if they sense you can’t swim… Just be careful. Transform if you must. Don’t worry about what Nod thinks.”
“But I don’t want to get sent home.”
“I hate to break it to you, but you’ll probably get sent home no matter what. Even Nod can see you’re not winning any of the trials. You should be at home.”
She could feel the blood drain from her head. Home. She didn’t have one, and she was pretty sure death awaited her wherever she went. “I can’t go home.”
He frowned. “Why not? Surely it’s better to be alive and in Dogtown than dead to impress Nod.”
He had no idea. And there was no way she could tell him, so she just shrugged and trudged out of the water.
35
Jack