Why Not Tonight (Happily Inc. #3)

“I know, right?”

“The baby app is a complication but I doubt Ronan will think you got pregnant on purpose. Finding out you’re pregnant can be a life changer. That I know for sure.” Her gaze sharpened. “Wait—your period is late, but you don’t know if you’re pregnant or not?”

“I haven’t taken the test.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t want to know.”

Silver smiled. “That’s mature. You do realize that your pregnancy exists or doesn’t exist, regardless of the results. Finding out for sure won’t change the biology of it all.”

“I know, but once I have the information, I have to deal with it. I’m not ready for that. I enjoy living in blissful ignorance.”

“I’m going to lovingly disagree. If you enjoyed it you wouldn’t be over here, freaking out.”

Natalie wanted to say she wasn’t even close to freaking out but got her friend’s point. “I’m scared. I really like Ronan and being pregnant with his baby will ruin everything. I don’t know that he’ll assume I trapped him, but he won’t be happy. How can I not be on birth control?”

“How could he not ask if you were?”

Natalie brightened. “You’re right. He should have asked. So that’s something I can throw in his face, but still. At the end of the day, I’m the one having the baby, not him.”

“How long do you plan to ignore the problem?”

“I don’t know. A few more days.” She brightened. “If I don’t get my period before Saturday, I’ll take a pregnancy test then.”

“It’s only Tuesday. That’s a long time to live in uncertainty. I’d want to know right away.”

There was something in the way she made the statement. Had Silver gone through something similar?

No, she told herself. Silver was strong and self-actualized. She would never make that kind of mistake. Silver had her own business and controlled her destiny. Natalie was the only idiot in the room.

“I can wait.”

“Then you have your answer.” Silver studied her. “You’re going to keep the baby, aren’t you?”

“If I’m pregnant? Of course. I wouldn’t give it up. I’m capable of being a single parent.”

She wasn’t exactly sure how but she had the memories of how great her mother had been with her. Surely she could learn from that excellent example. Plus, she had friends. Pallas was pregnant. They could go through it together. Only Pallas was sick all the time. Natalie really hoped that didn’t happen to her.

“Is Ronan capable of being a father?” Silver asked. “Like you said, he’s a bit of a brooding artist. Honestly, I don’t get the appeal. Give me a normal guy who enjoys sports and I’m all in.”

“You’re so lying. You don’t get serious about anyone.”

Silver chuckled. “You’re right—I don’t. So what about Ronan? You said getting pregnant would ruin everything.”

“It would. I don’t even know how I would tell him. He’s convinced he’s like a bad seed or something because of who he is.”

“Or who he’s not,” Silver added. “I know the story. His dad is a total dick. Remember how he was at the giraffe fundraiser last year? He wanted all the attention on himself. With a father like that, any guy would be concerned that he wasn’t—” She made a strangled noise in her throat. “Now you have me doing it.”

“Doing what?”

“Talking about a future that doesn’t exist.” She pointed at Natalie. “We don’t know that you’re pregnant. You might be reacting to stress, or sex. You used condoms, so it’s not like there was nothing protecting you. Chances are, you’re fine.”

“You’re so rational. It’s upsetting.”

“Would you prefer I panicked?”

“A little. I’d feel like you were more like me.”

“Fine. Let’s assume you are pregnant. If you are, what do you really want?”

Natalie didn’t have to consider the question. The answer came to her without warning. Ronan. The image was so vivid, so real, she nearly gasped. No, not him, she told herself. Wanting him in her future would mean she’d fallen for him.

She searched frantically for something else to say only to have Silver roll her eyes.

“You obviously thought of something that made you go pale. What is it?”

“Nothing. I, ah, miss my mom.”

“Really? I’m sure you do miss her, but you are so lying. It’s Ronan, isn’t it? You were wishing that it was real.”

Natalie opened her mouth, then closed it. “No. Maybe. I guess. Yes, but could it be? I’m, um...” She searched for a plausible lie because the truth was too humiliating. “Oh, I’m unlucky in love!” There—that should work.

“That’s a total crock.”

So much for it working. “It’s not. My fiancé broke up with me less than a week before the wedding and left me to tell everyone and pay for it all. It was horrible.”

“Yes, it was, and I’m sorry you had to go through that, but it doesn’t mean—”

“There’s more. My mother was a wonderful woman. Beautiful and talented and so loving. My dad died before I was born and my grandfather disappeared when my mom was still a kid.”

“So you come from a long line of women who chose badly or have had bad luck. Believe me, I totally get that. I have a bit of it in my past, but that doesn’t mean you won’t eventually fall madly in love and live happily ever after.”

“You don’t know that.”

Silver sighed. “This isn’t the movie Practical Magic. There is no curse.”

“I loved that movie. Their hair.”

“Aidan Quinn, which is not the point. You’re hiding, emotionally. From finding someone great in general, and specifically this second from knowing if you’re pregnant. You might want to think about why that’s happening and what you’re going to do to fix it.”

Natalie knew that of all her friends, Silver was the most blunt and brutally honest. She must have wanted to hear the truth or she would have texted someone with a more gentle personality.

“I’m scared,” she admitted. “About everything.”

“I know you are. Whatever happens, you have a lot of people who care about you. You might not have biological family around but you have made your own family of the heart. Pregnant or not, we’ll be here. In a time like this, support is important.” Silver hesitated. “It just is.”

“Thank you.”

“Now go take the damn test.”

“Saturday for sure. I swear.”

“Do I look convinced?” Silver asked, sounding more than a little skeptical.

“No, but if I’m lying, you can slap me.”

“I’ll be counting the minutes. Now come on. I’ll buy you lunch. I’ll even order French fries so you can eat off my plate and pretend you didn’t have any.”

“You’re the best friend ever.”

“Tell me about it.”

*

RONAN WATCHED NICK pace the length of their studio. His brother had been restless all morning. Mathias hadn’t bothered to come in, so it was just the two of them. Nick had tried to work at least a half dozen times, then had given up and started walking back and forth.

“You’re making it hard to concentrate,” Ronan said mildly, turning his chair so he could watch his brother. It wasn’t as if he was all that interested in finalizing his production schedule for the commission. He was on track and that was about all he had to know.

“Sorry.” Nick kept walking. “I have a lot on my mind.”

“Pallas?”

Nick nodded. He headed for his desk, grabbed his chair and pulled it over to Ronan’s desk.

“She’s so sick. The doctor swears she’s going to be fine and Pallas is trying to convince me it’s not as bad as it was, but I’m not sure I believe her. Even if I do, it’s still awful. I hate seeing her like that.”

“Won’t it get better soon?”

“In the next month or so her hormones should calm down. Everyone tells me it’s normal but it doesn’t look normal to me.”

Ronan couldn’t imagine his brother’s fear. To love someone as much as Nick loved Pallas, then watch her go through everything without being able to help would be awful.

“I didn’t think it would be like this,” Nick admitted. “I can’t imagine life without her and we both wanted kids. Now I’m terrified all the time. What if something happens to her?”

“It won’t.”