How could she possibly have heard that?
Well, in any case, I absolutely do not want to talk to her about Gretchen. I start to turn back to my computer.
“Your interview’s this weekend, right?” Lacey asks.
I look back up. “Yeah. I’m flying out tomorrow.”
“Tell Dr. Raavi I said hi, and that he’s going to love you.”
“Could you tell him that second part yourself?” I ask.
Lacey laughs. “I already did. This weekend is mostly a formality. By the way, when he offers you tea, make sure you say yes or he’ll get offended. The man’s obsessed with his tea.”
“Will do,” I say. “Thanks again for setting this up. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it.”
“It’s nothing,” she says. “So many people used to help me out when I was an undergrad. It’s nice to be able to do it now myself. Dr. Raavi asked me to pick the best kid in my section and send over the name. So really I’m doing him the favor.”
I bristle at being called kid, but I don’t let Lacey see. “Well, thanks, again.”
“Sure. But there was something else I wanted to talk to you about.”
“Shoot.”
“I also wanted to say...” Lacey drops her voice lower. No one at the table is typing now, not even Andy. “I thought you might want someone to talk to. I know how hard it is after a breakup. If you wanted to maybe grab some coffee sometime. Next semester, I mean, when I’m not your TF anymore.”
Nance kicks me under the table. Derek makes a high-pitched sound, then covers his grin with his hand.
Once upon a time I might’ve been ever-so-slightly flattered by this turn of events. Not after everything that’s happened, though. So I give Lacey the most polite response I can think of. “Listen, thanks, but I can’t really think about dating anyone right now. My girlfriend and I are still trying to work things out.”
“Oh! Oh, I’m sorry.” Lacey’s eyes flick from side to side. She’s finally noticed the others can hear us. “My mistake. Listen, please don’t think this has anything to do with the internship, or that A on your midterm or anything else. It was a total coincidence.”
“Okay,” I say. I hadn’t thought of that before, but now that she brought it up...
“Good luck with your girlfriend,” Lacey says. “I’m sure she’s great. And have a great trip. Oh, and hey, it’s time for me to meet my friend. See you guys later.”
With that Lacey’s gone, her kitten heels clicking rapidly on the tile floor as she hurries away from us.
As soon as she’s outside, everyone except Derek and me bursts out laughing.
“I can’t believe Lacey’s going after freshmen,” Nance says. “She’s always into the newest transboy on the block.”
“No, she’s not,” Derek says. “Shut up, Nance. Look, T, Lacey’s cool. I’m sure she was telling the truth about it not affecting your grades and stuff.”
“Maybe I should ask her out,” Eli says, scratching his chin. “If she’s into trans guys.”
“Yeah, you should go for it, man,” Nance says. “She’s hot. Plus, you don’t have a whole big pile of baggage like T here, so that’s got to work in your favor.”
“Oh, come on,” I say.
“Ignore Nance,” Derek says. “T, you’re just a freshman. Believe me, you have way less baggage than the rest of us. Nance has no right to talk given that she’s currently sitting with her back to the door just in case one of the three girls she’s got mad at her right now walks in. Anyway, Eli, you should totally ask Lacey out. See if she wants to go to the party the Harvard Texas Society is having on Sunday. You can learn how to line dance and you won’t have to talk that much.”
“I’ll look stupid line dancing,” Eli says.
“Everyone looks stupid line-dancing,” Derek says. “That’s the whole point. It’s an equalizer.”
Eli still looks dubious. Or maybe the testosterone is just making him moody.
“Tony, why did you say Gretchen’s still your girlfriend?” Inez asks. “I thought you were breaking up. Do you really think Lacey’s that hideous?”
Lacey is far from hideous, but I don’t want to go out with her. I don’t want to go out with anyone who isn’t Gretchen.
I want Gretchen to go out with other people, though. To get on with her life without me getting in the way.
Except—well, if I’m being totally honest, I kind of don’t want that, either.
I wonder what Gretchen’s doing now. If she’s okay. It’s so strange not talking to her every day.
“No.” I stand up. “I mean, I wasn’t lying. I don’t know. I have to figure it out. But first I have to pee.”
There are a few chuckles as I make my way past the cash registers toward the bathrooms. I have a moment of panic when I realize I’m about to go into an off-campus bathroom—do I use the men’s or the women’s?—but then I see the unisex symbol on the door. I try to open it, but it’s locked, so I’m standing in the hallway, waiting, when Eli sidles up next to me.