“The other also has to do with his illness. He still battles paranoia. It causes him to not trust. My vow would be that I would always be truthful with him. Sometimes he doesn’t believe me when I say I love him. But if he knows I will never lie to him, then he knows I’m telling the truth.”
That broke Fiona’s heart. What a battle Mandy was fighting. She never complained, at least not that Fiona ever noticed.
“What are the things that you can promise from your heart to Kelan? Things that only have to do with the two of you? He’s an good man, Fee. What are the things you can do to honor him? How will you make his days wonderful? Because I’m sure he will do those same things for you.”
Fiona felt a wave of sorrow. “What if…what if the best thing I can do for him is to let him go?”
Mandy frowned. “You don’t love him?”
“Oh, I do. So much so that I’m terrified to think of life without him.” She wiped a tear that slipped down her cheek. “But I’m King’s daughter. What kind of life will that be for him? He will always be on guard for an attack from the thing that is my dad.”
“Fiona—Kelan’s a warrior. I think he’s up to what you’re both facing.”
“But why should that be his life?”
“Have you had this talk with him?”
Fiona shook her head and blinked more tears away. “I can’t.”
Mandy’s eyes watered, too. She looked away from Fee, then stopped the horse they were training. The wind tangled about them. “Why is everything always so hard?”
Fee lifted her shoulders and drew a long breath to calm herself—she couldn’t go back to the house all red-faced. “I guess because it all matters so much to us.” Fiona dismounted. They walked shoulder to shoulder into the stables.
*
Fiona skipped dinner. Kelan and Max were still down in Colorado. She couldn’t quite deal with the worried looks she knew the other girls would still send her way.
After talking to Mandy, she’d spent the afternoon trying to figure out what she was going to do: stay for the claiming ceremony or leave before things got worse. There was only one answer coming to her. She was going to have to go.
Kelan was like an Arabian horse—all heart, all loyalty, running until it died because its master was too uncaring to see it wouldn’t quit.
Kelan would never give up on her. And King would never stop coming after them, after their kids, after the people they loved. Joining their lives together meant she imperiled his entire family.
That was not okay.
Somehow, she was going to have to find a way to say goodbye.
She was just finishing getting into a pair of baggy pajama bottoms and a tank top to sleep in, when a knock sounded on her door. Hope was standing there, a tray in hand.
“Hey. You weren’t at supper. I thought I’d come check on you.”
Fiona smiled and stepped back so that Hope could come in. She set the tray down at the small table in the corner of the room. “Ivy made a sandwich for you. They wanted to come up, but I thought a bunch of us might overwhelm you.”
Fiona plopped down in one of the chairs at the table. Hope pushed the tray toward her. A bowl of broccoli cheese soup and a crusty roll. It looked delicious. “Thanks, Hope.”
Hope tilted her head to the side and gave a little grin. “Couldn’t let my sister starve, could I?”
Fiona frowned at her. Sister?
“We share a brother. That makes us sisters, no?”
“I suppose it does.”
“Your hair looks cute.”
Fiona touched her curly bob. It had taken a while to get the extensions removed. Val had stayed with her the whole time. And every time the girls in the salon had shifted their attention from her to him, he returned their focus to her. She’d left there feeling almost like herself again.
“I always wanted a sister,” Fiona said, looking at Hope as she took a bite of the sandwich.
“Me too.”
Hope made small talk while she ate, telling Fiona about everything that had happened while she was away. It was so perfect, all of them, living here. She’d been terrified of the guys when she first came to Mandy’s. And now, they really were family. She had more sisters than just Hope, too.
How was she ever going to be able to leave all of them?
Hope folded her legs in front of her on the chair and braced her heels against the edge of the seat. She set her chin on her knees and focused on Fiona. She reached for Fee’s hand and squeezed it.
“I want to tell you something, something I haven’t told the others.” She told Fiona about the day she and Max met, how the club was cutting her clothes from her body with the intent of raping her. “My dad was among them. I didn’t know he was my dad, and I don’t think he knew I was his daughter. I was just some chick to abuse for the amusement of the club. King had sent me to the club to be killed. I’m sure of it.”
Fiona thought back to her twisted memories of what happened in the rotunda. She couldn’t bring herself to talk about it yet. She was pretty sure, though, that King had been at the ceremony.
He was never, ever, ever going to leave her alone, was he? She looked at Hope. “Can I ask a favor?”
“Anything.”
“I need to burn something.”
“What?”
“Something they made me wear the night Kelan got me out of there.”
Hope smiled. “Let’s do it. Grab whatever it is and meet me outside. I’ll get the firepit ready.” She took Fiona’s empty tray and left.
Fiona pulled a hoodie on over her tank top, then stepped into a pair of flip-flops and grabbed the bag with her cape in it.
Hope had a roaring fire in the big pit. Ivy was there. She gave Fiona a hug, but didn’t talk, didn’t ask questions. Her quiet acceptance of Fiona’s pain chipped away at Fiona’s frozen spirit. The three of them watched the fire burn for a little while, letting the kindling burn down and firewood catch the flames. Mandy and Eden came out. Remi followed them.