“It’s not pity, its compassion,” I said as I set the bowl down. I rewet the cloth and moved to stand between his legs. His eyes opened then.
“Can’t you tell the difference between the two?” I asked as I pressed the cloth to a small gash caked with blood. I had to wipe at it several times in order to clean it. He grunted.
“Nope. Not with you.”
“Baby,” I said. I made to move away from him, and his arms snaked around my waist.
“Show me some compassion.” His head was tilted up just slightly so he could meet my gaze. I stepped closer, set the cloth on his shoulder, and cupped his face in my hands. His eyes closed, and he exhaled slowly.
I kissed the scratch on his chin first, then the one on his cheek. The one just above his eyebrow got two. I gently kissed the other side just because. Then the tiny split on his upper lip caught my eye. I lowered my mouth to his and kissed it gently.
My compassion ended there. The second kiss I pressed to his lips was hunger. And he understood. His arms wrapped around me, and he stole my breath as he took over.
When we finally broke apart, my chest heaved from lack of air. His lips were red and looked more abused than they had when we’d walked in here.
“I think I should finish cleaning you up,” I whispered. I took the cold cloth from his shoulder and went to rinse it.
“I like when you’re compassionate.”
I grinned stupidly at the pink water, then cleared my throat and forced a more serious expression on my face before I turned around again.
“I’m sure you do.” I handed him the cloth. “I think you can do the rest. I’m going to go help cook.”
He grinned at me.
“One of these days you’ll stop running.”
I was afraid he might be right.
The men remained outside until lunch was ready. Before Winifred let anyone in, she asked Rilla, Mary, and I to eat first then leave the room. She said the men were too tense and with two of us unMated and Rilla pregnant, it would be best if we weren’t there.
After we ate, we escaped upstairs to my room with Grey standing outside our door as a guard. Rilla and Mary wove mats while I watched and handed them their next reeds. When Grey opened our door to tell us the men had cleared out, we went downstairs to clean up. Only, everything was already done. Gregory and Thomas were setting the last stack of dry dishes to the side.
The outside door opened and two men entered, carrying two wild boar.
“Thought we’d need a head start on the next meal,” Thomas said when I glanced at him.
“I think I’ll try to weave,” I said, stepping aside.
After Mary, Rilla, and I ate dinner, Rilla’s husband came to take her and their son to their room. Gregory came in next, holding out his hand for Mary. With a grin and a wave at me, Mary left with him.
Grey, who’d eaten with us, winked at me.
“You get me tonight,” he said with a smile.
I smiled back and followed him upstairs, and he left me at the door with a goodnight. I rarely saw him without a smile. He didn’t seem the least bit upset about what he’d given up to be an Elder. I still felt for him, though. He’d entertained Rilla’s little one most of the time we were together. I could see he liked children. I hoped that by staying here, he’d have a chance to raise little ones, even if they weren’t his own.
Long after I’d gone to bed, my door opened. I still had the lamp lit, so I looked up and watched Thomas silently walk in.
“Why aren’t you sleeping?” he said softly.
“I couldn’t. I was waiting for you. What took so long?”
He smiled at me, blew out the lamp, and sat on the edge of the mattress. His fingers combed through my hair.
“A lot of the men wanted to talk to me. Some, I think, wanted to know what kind of leader I might be if they decided to join tomorrow. Some were just curious about you. Where did you come from? Are there any others like you? Things like that.” He lay down next to me. “I think they were disappointed to hear you’re one of a kind, so far.”
I rolled on my side and laid my head on his shoulder.
“Tomorrow...” I didn’t say anything else. I didn’t know if it was all right to speak my questions aloud.
“Don’t worry so much,” he said softly. His arm wrapped around me, and he pulled me close.
How could I not worry? Tomorrow would determine my fate.
Seventeen
After breakfast, I refused to be sent away.
“It’s too dangerous,” Winifred said, shaking her head.
“Not for me. You saw what I can do. They saw it, too. The only reason this all started was because of me. What does it say if I’m not out there with Thomas?”
“It says you’re intelligent and very aware of the danger,” Winifred said.
Thomas stood behind me, very quiet. I turned to him.
“You have nothing to say on the matter?”
“I want you by me always. And I want you safe. In this case, one conflicts with the other. I’m not sure which is best.”
I scowled at him.
“You should have stopped with I want you by me always.”