He tilted his head to the side, daring me with his eyes to follow through with my threat.
“Perhaps when your neck doesn’t look like raw meatloaf,” I said.
“My neck hurts. My ribs hurt. My head hurts.” He sighed, again, and leaned down until his forehead rested on mine. “May I sleep in your room tonight?”
I knew he was playing on my pity. Yet, I didn’t want to say no. Why should I? He promised not to bite me. He wanted to stay in my room to protect me. And he was asking permission instead of assuming. He was respecting every condition and limit I’d put on our relationship.
I pulled back and focused on his eyes. Relationship? Mary was right. For saying no to Thomas, I did have a soft spot for him. But was it any different than Anton? I thought so. The sight of Thomas made my heart race and my stomach stir.
“What are you thinking?” Thomas asked.
“That you’re too old and too wise for me.”
“Too old?” He snorted. “I’m no more than four years older.”
I grinned at him.
“I like how you didn’t try to defend your wisdom.”
“You’re much wiser than me. Even if you’re four years younger. May I sleep in your room tonight?”
“Yes, Thomas. You may.”
He leaned forward, and for a moment, I thought he would kiss me. Instead, he rested his forehead on mine again, closed his eyes, and exhaled.
“If I’m the hand that holds this pack together, you’ll be the heart.”
The group brought back a deer. Thomas made them skin and quarter it before Gregory brought it inside. Mary had enough experience that she could help me butcher it. We saved four larger roasts for the oven and tossed the rest of the meat, diced into cubes, into two pots. For such a large animal, there was less meat than I’d anticipated. But, soon the smell of roasting meat filled the common room.
Thomas walked in, appearing more agitated and pale.
“Two more.”
“I think you should start saying no.”
“If I do, it will only make those already in the pack more resistant.”
I stopped stirring the meat and went to join him at the table. Mary still sat there cutting up the last bit of meat. When I’d caught her nibbling on pieces raw, I’d left her to finish alone.
She grinned at me and popped another piece in her mouth. I shook my head and focused on Thomas, who sat across from me.
“I thought the leader of the pack could give any command and have to be obeyed. Can’t you just command them to stop struggling against you and cooperate?”
“I can’t command them to give up their freedom of will. I can remove certain choices, but ultimately, they have to be willing to obey and concede to my command. If they aren’t, they can ask to leave the pack and become Forlorn.”
“Wait. I thought you said if they didn’t obey, they could shake the pack apart.”
“A voluntary and agreed upon leaving doesn’t hurt the whole pack. It’s the willful resistance of many that can break a pack.”
“Wini says it’s nature’s way of ensuring it’s possible to mutiny against a bad leader,” Mary said.
“Could Winifred ask them to obey?”
Thomas shook his head.
“Elders can make rules and laws to bind the will of all of our kind, but only when they are in our best interest.”
“Who decides what’s in your best interest?”
“The Elders.”
“So two people decide the fate of your race?”
“Yes.”
“She wants me to point out they are trying to find more,” Mary said.
I nodded to acknowledge her. I hadn’t meant to infer what they were doing was wrong or unjust. I only meant to try to understand it.
“You have to keep saying yes until the pack shakes apart, then.”
“I’m hoping they run out of recruits before it becomes more than I can manage.”
Tapping my fingers on the table, I considered what I knew of these new members. They didn’t like me. They couldn’t force Thomas to evict me so they meant to undermine his authority, thereby shaking the foundation of the pack, while also finding ways to drive me away. How did they plan to make me leave? Winifred wouldn’t let them bite me—neither would I. As long as I had a dry roof over my head and food in my belly, I was fine.
They already brought back the food. I stopped tapping and met Thomas’ gaze. Had he figured out what they would do next, too? Was that why he’d pushed to sleep in the room with me tonight?
“Charlene? Are you all right?”
“Yes. Fine. Dinner will be ready in a few hours.” I stood and went back to the stove. Behind me a chair scraped on the floor. The hairs on the back of my neck rose as I picked up the spoon and stirred the meat. A moment later, his hands settled on my shoulders and his jaw pressed against the side of my head.
“Did you know we can sense lies?”
“Yes, I believe that was mentioned already.”