I used to be scared of the future. I didn’t know where I’d end up, didn’t know if the anger and bitterness inside me would ever truly go away, if I could ever feel worthy or find someone who’d be able to see through the asshole I pretend to be to the rest of the world.
But I’m not scared anymore, and I did find someone who sees me. Who really, truly sees me. And I see her, too. Ella Harper is all I’m ever going to see, because she’s my future. She’s my steel and my fire and my salvation.
She’s everything.
37
Ella
One Week Later
“What’s this?” I ask when I get out of the bathroom dressed in my favorite hanging-out clothes—a T-shirt of Reed’s and a pair of shorts.
Today’s dance team practice ran long, so I told Reed to go on home without me. Once I got back, I made him wait until I showered, even though he claims he doesn’t care if I’m sweaty.
Now, I walk into my room and find an assortment of colorful brochures on my bed. Most of them show pictures of teens clutching schoolbooks against their chests.
“Pick one,” Reed says. His eyes are fixed on the TV.
As I get closer, I realize they’re college brochures—about ten of them. “One what?”
“Pick where we’re going to college.”
“We?” Curious, I flip one open. UNC, the brochure declares, has been granting degrees since the eighteenth century.
“Duh.” He rolls over on his side, crumpling half the glossy pamphlets under his fit body.
“We’re choosing together?” I say in surprise.
“Yup. You said you wanted to dance, so there’s a couple here that offer a good arts degree.” He rummages through the pile and pulls out a red-and-white brochure. “So UNC-Greensboro offers a dance degree and so does UNC in Charlotte. They’re both accredited by the National Association of Schools of Dance.”
A familiar heat starts to course through my body. “Did you research all this stuff?”
“Sure did.”
I suck in my lower lip so I don’t break out in tears. This has to be one of the nicest, most thoughtful things anyone’s ever done for me. I don’t do a good enough job of hiding my emotions, because Reed vaults over the bed and drags me against him.
His eyes search mine. “Are you upset about this?”
“No. This is so sweet,” I blubber.
Smiling, he sits on the edge of the bed and positions me between his legs. He looks half embarrassed, half proud. “I figured it was the least I could do. What were you planning to do before Dad kidnapped you?”
“Ha, so you admit he kidnapped me!”
He grins. “I just said that.”
“Fine. I was going to go to community college and get an associates in business. And then take accounting classes for two years and hopefully find a steady job counting numbers all day. I planned to wear a lot of khaki, eat in the cafeteria, and maybe have a dog to come home to.”
His smile grows broader. “Well, now you can go to an arts college and live off your trust fund.”
“What about your business degree?”
He shrugs. “I can get that anywhere. It’s not like Dad’s not gonna hire me. He’s dying for us to get into the family business. Gid has zero interest. East likes fast cars. The twins are more like—” He breaks off before he says Steve’s name. “The twins like the planes and aren’t interested in running the business.”
I pull out of his embrace and go to the dresser, where I pull out the flier I found on the Astor Park bulletin board tonight—Hailey had pointed it out. I return to Reed and trade his UNC-Greensboro brochure for the flier.
“What’s this?” He turns it over.
“It’s an amateur boxing circuit. I know you like to hit things, but you probably shouldn’t go to the docks anymore. This will let you hit and get hit and it’s perfectly legal. I’m not saying you should do it for the rest of your life, but—”
“I like it,” Reed declares.
“Yeah?”
“I can do this, go to classes, and come home to you, right?”
I melt against him. “Right.” A grin lifts my lips. “Oh, and Val said to tell you to take Wade along. She thinks it’ll be good for him to get punched in his pretty face every now and then.”
Reed snickers. “I thought they were together now!”
“They are.” I laugh as I think about our best friends. They’ve been an official couple for a week, and already Val is laying down the law. “But she’s still making him pay for fooling around with someone else.”
He rolls his eyes. “Chicks are nuts.”
“We are not.” I pinch his side in warning. “Oh, and by the way, I decided I’m going to take dance lessons. It’s the one thing Jordan does that I’m really envious of. And I know I’m not going to be as good as her with a year’s worth of dance lessons, but I still think it would be cool.”
“Dad would love that.”