I reckon something in my glare must’ve communicated the intensity of my sudden, irrational, and visceral response to his question, because Cletus lifted his hands between us as though he surrendered, and took a step back.
“Hold your claws, Wolverine. I’m not going to ask Miss James to step out. I was merely gathering data. I see your feelings for her haven’t changed.”
“No. They haven’t.”
“Then I guess I just don’t understand why things aren’t progressing in a satisfactory manner. Did Jackson James do something to interfere?”
“Nothing of note.”
“Did her parents object?”
“No,” I said through gritted teeth.
Cletus pressed his lips together, his eyes narrowing on me like I was under suspicion of criminal consorting. “Did you do something untoward?”
“No. Damn it, Cletus! Can’t you just let this go?”
“No, sir. I cannot. I like things to be fixed, situated, orderly, where they belong. You and Miss James aren’t situated, where you belong. As such, I feel compelled to fix the situation.”
I threw the axe down so the blade cut through the earth. “Fine. You want to know what happened? She told me she’s only interested in a temporary thing. She’s not planning on staying in Green Valley. She wants to leave as soon as possible and isn’t looking for permanent. She’s got…” I paused, glaring unseeingly around the yard as I searched for the word she used; finding it, I threw my hands in the air and kicked the pile of split wood as I finished, “She’s got fucking wanderlust bullshit issues.”
Beau’s eyebrows arched high on his forehead. “Fucking wanderlust bullshit issues? You mean, she likes to go hiking?”
“No,” Cletus answered for me, his expression grave and thoughtful. “I believe our dear brother Duane means she’s wanting to travel the world, and doesn’t want any strings holding her to one place.”
“Yes, that. What he said.” I lifted my chin and scanned the contents of the shed behind them for no reason. The sooner this conversation ended, the better.
Beau glanced between Cletus and me, he appeared to be confused and confirmed my suspicion when he said, “So?”
“So…” I shrugged. “So there’s not going to be a second date.”
Again, Beau glanced between Cletus and me like he was missing something. “Why not?”
This time Cletus and I shared a look of commiseration.
Cletus huffed his impatience, then turned to Beau like he was going to set matters straight on my behalf.
“Because…” Cletus started, but then stopped. He blinked at Beau. Then his eyes narrowed like he was thinking the matter over and reconsidering his earlier assumptions.
I frowned at them both.
“Now wait a minute.” Cletus held his index finger up and pointed at Beau, then he pointed at me. “No, wait just a minute. Beau has a point.”
I groaned, seething, and glanced at the darkening sky over their heads. Why were we still talking about this?
Meddling brothers. Goddamn chickens, the lot of them.
“She wants a temporary interlude, so what?”
I gritted my teeth, crossed my arms, and decided to wait for Cletus to talk himself tired. But then, surprisingly, his next statement caught my attention.
“Everything is temporary, Duane. This,” he gestured to our surroundings, “this is temporary. Even mountains fall. Nothing lasts forever. You got a chance at happiness, even for a week, a month, a year? You grab it and you hold on to it for as long as it lasts.”
“Exactly.” Beau nodded vehemently; now he was frowning, looking as serious as I’d ever seen him. “You have a chance to be with her, even for a short time? You take it. Because when she leaves, you’ll still have that.”
I shook my head, not liking the cast of their words. “You want me to settle? That’s fucking pathetic.”
“No. I want you to seize.” Cletus dropped his hand on my shoulder and gave me a little shake. “You seize that woman. You make her yours.”
I examined Cletus as he spoke. I liked the words seize and make. Those were action words I could appreciate, words that made me re-think my earlier conclusions. I glanced between my brothers and actually allowed myself to consider the possibility of taking what I could get from Jess, for as long as I could get it.
She didn’t want to stay in Green Valley, nothing could keep her here. Fine. I could accept that. It was her life. But…
I wasn’t going to beg. No fucking way. I wasn’t even willing to ask nicely at this point. I didn’t rate on her list of priorities, and why should I? If she wanted no strings with me—and it was clear she was beyond interested in an arrangement that included the physical—what was keeping me from setting my own terms and pushing her outside of her comfort zone? Defining the timetable? Taking a bit of her pride and heart and spirit before she left?
Some unrealistic and idealistic dream from my adolescence?
She was here. I was here. We were adults. Mutual want, hot and desperate, existed between us. Why was I denying myself taking what I could?
Fuck that shit.