A large but somewhat modest, considering who Roman was, old, white Victorian house with dark-blue accents stood tall in the middle of a decent-sized private lot. The yard was far bigger than ours—no, Walt’s—but the grass and the flowerbed needed some serious help.
And then I saw her. Standing on the front porch, her arms folded over her chest to ward off the November chill, her side pressed into Roman’s chest, his mouth at her temple, anxiety etched in her face.
I hadn’t been wrong; she was beautiful. And I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that a pang of jealousy hit me. This was her life. The worst that had probably ever happened to her was having shitty grass and an overgrown flowerbed. I didn’t want her to see my baby. To be able to offer her something I couldn’t—stability.
There she stood, in her designer dress and heels, with a man who adored her and had probably never lifted a hand to her.
She was a better version of me—better than I’d ever be.
My heart lurched into my throat. “I can’t do this.”
“Then we’ll wait until you can,” Heath said, putting the car in park, but he left the engine running.
I kept my eyes glued to her as she turned and asked Roman something.
Even from yards away, her resemblance to Tessa was uncanny, and it hurt so fucking badly. In that moment, regardless of what I’d wished over the last few weeks, I selfishly didn’t want her to be Tessa’s biological mother anymore.
That was my job.
The anxiety started in my hands, gradually working its way up until it engulfed my entire body.
“Breathe,” I heard Heath say, and I momentarily managed to drag my eyes off Elisabeth.
Concern painted his handsome face, but it was his comforting blue eyes that cut through my panic.
I exhaled on a sob as I threw my arms around his neck. “I can’t do this.”
“Shit,” I heard him mutter as I buried my face in his neck. His left arm wrapped around my shoulders, but I felt his body angle forward and his right arm reach into the back seat. “It’s okay, sweet girl,” he soothed. “Everything’s fine.”
I lifted my head an inch and saw his hand patting Tessa’s leg. The silent tears streaming from her eyes immediately sobered me.
“Hey. Hey. Hey,” I cooed, sitting up and drying my eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“You cryin’,” she squeaked, swiping her cheeks with the backs of her hands.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
I lifted my gaze to Heath, who was studying us both warily.
“Right. Well…” I took a deep breath and did my best to collect myself. “I’m happy, baby. This is where we’ll be staying for a while.” I motioned out the window. “We’ll be safe here. Remember Roman? He’s going to let us stay with him and his wife.”
She looked out the window then to Heath for a beat before looking back at me. “Luke, too?”
I smiled, and it wasn’t even fake. “Yeah, baby. Heath is going to stay too.”
She nodded, her little body visibly relaxing into her car seat.
I sighed and squeezed his arm.
Then I jumped seven hundred feet in the air—though that might be an exaggeration—when Tessa screamed, “Dog!”
“Easy,” Heath urged, pointing out the window to where a little Yorkie was trotting toward our SUV, yipping with every step.
I closed my eyes and wrung my hands in my lap. “I suck at this calm thing.”
“Maybe we should check YouTube, just in case.”
My eyes popped open and I found him watching me with a sly grin.
“It couldn’t hurt.” I offered him a weak smile.
“You ready?”
I shook my head and sucked in a deep breath. “No,” I sighed. “But I guess I can’t live in a government-issued SUV forever.”
He grinned wider, causing a flutter in my stomach. “Oh, I don’t know. It doesn’t have a bathroom. But I could run you through the carwash once a week.”
I unbuckled my seat belt. “Watch out. You find a way to rig up Wi-Fi for Tessa’s iPad and I might take you up on that.”
He shrugged and offered, “She can use my phone.”
There weren’t even words to express what a good guy he was. And not just because he was taking care of me and my daughter, but because he found moments to make me forget that I needed anyone to take care of me and my daughter at all.
“Mama! Dog!” Tessa squealed.
I held his gaze and felt another damaged piece of myself fall away. “I think I’m ready,” I whispered.
His smile faded as he searched my face. “Be sure, Clare. We’re in no rush.”
I jerked a thumb toward Tessa. “I think Cesar Millan back there would disagree with you.”
“Mama! Dog. Look, Luke. Dog!”
His eyes danced with humor. “I have no idea who that is.”
I laughed and shoved my door open. “Then you should probably leave the dog whispering to me.”
He turned the ignition off and opened his door. After folding out, he stretched his bulky frame before leaning back into the car, asking, “You sure you’re good?”
Another broken piece of me hit the ground as I stood on my own two feet.
“I am now.”
“Loretta!” I called after the dog as she jogged toward Clare’s car.
“Let her go,” Roman mumbled into my hair. “She can be the welcoming committee.”