I soaked in the bath. There were still bruises on my inner thighs. I stared at the bite mark on my left breast, covered it with a soap bubble. I shut my eyes, squeezed them tight, but I could see Brian’s face, flashes of his body moving above me, could hear the sounds he’d made. I picked up the washcloth and the soap, scrubbed at my body as if it were filthy, trying to hold back the sobs.
When I got back to our bedroom, Courtney and Dani were sleeping, a lamp casting a glow over their faces. Dani looked angry even in her sleep. Courtney’s face was hidden by her hair, one hand tucked near her face like a little girl. I crawled into the other bed, looking around the strange room. I startled at the loud sound of a bus going by, people arguing out on the street. I grabbed the pillow and blanket and curled up on the floor close to my sisters.
*
In the morning Patrick knocked on the door.
“When you girls are ready, we’ll talk.”
We came into the kitchen, sat at the table. Food was already out on plates, steaming cups of coffee by each seat. A cat leapt up, grabbed a piece of bacon. Karen scooped him up and dropped him onto the floor.
“Get out of here, Rocky.”
Courtney was looking a little more alert, but all her responses were a half step behind and there was a vague look in her eyes I didn’t like. She’d asked Dani for another pill, but Dani said it was better if she waited. Dani looked like she could fall asleep sitting, like she just wanted to close her eyes or curl up on the floor.
I’d woken up at two in the morning, my pulse racing when I heard steps creep past our door. I was ready to wake Dani when I heard a toilet flush. Afterward the house was quiet but I couldn’t get back to sleep. Dani’s hand was hanging over the side of the bed, all her nails chewed to the quick. I studied my own, broken and rough. Then I remembered Brian’s, the grease under his nails. I curled into a ball, squeezed my eyes shut, pressed my hands to my ears.
Now I was groggy, shoveling bacon in my mouth, methodically chewing, but my eyes felt like they had sand in them, the lids heavy. Dani picked at her breakfast, tried to get Courtney to eat hers. Courtney just sipped her coffee.
“So what are your names?” Patrick said.
Dani stared at Patrick, her eyes big. Courtney looked scared.
“We can’t tell you,” Dani said.
“You need fake ID.” It wasn’t a question.
“Can you help?” Dani said.
He nodded like he’d been expecting that, grabbed a piece of bacon, bit into it with a crunch. “I can get you some, but you need to come up with new names. Use your current initials for your first and last names.”
Fear shot through me. If we gave him our initials, could he figure out our real names somehow? If he discovered where we grew up …
“Why do you want our initials?” I said. Dani gave me an impatient look.
“Easier for you to remember, less slipups,” Patrick said. “I’ll get birth certificates for you. Should have them in a couple of days. How old are you all?”
I frowned at Dani, scared she was revealing too much. She hesitated, glanced at me, then back at Patrick.
“Look.” He put a few more pieces of bacon on my plate. “I don’t give a shit what you did or where you’re from. All I care about is helping you start new lives.” He smiled at Karen, who was pouring him another cup of coffee. “Thanks, sweetie.” He dumped cream into his cup, turned back to us. “So. You going to meet me halfway?”
Dani sucked in a breath, released it. “I’m turning eighteen in a few months.” She pointed to Courtney. “She’s sixteen and a half.” She pointed to me. “She just turned fifteen.”
“You’re young enough people will believe you don’t have social insurance numbers yet. But you should get them soon—not all at once.” He motioned to Dani. “You first.” He looked at Courtney. “Did you have a driver’s license?”
“She only had her learner’s,” Dani said.
“She should apply for another. You’re both a year older now.”
Courtney glanced at him, her face blank, took another sip of her coffee.
Patrick watched her for a second. Karen followed his gaze. I didn’t like the look on their faces, their concern. What if they called the police or took her to a hospital?
Patrick turned back to me. “We’ll keep your age at fifteen. You look young.”
That’s no fifteen-year-old’s body. I blinked back tears, stared down at the table, the smell of bacon grease turning my stomach now.
Karen got up and started making a fresh pot of coffee.
“Do you have any work for us?” Dani said. “You’ve got this big yard.” Her voice was hopeful, pleading. “We’re really strong.”
“What kind of experience do you have?”
“Farming, mostly, but Jess, she’s really smart—and we’re hard workers.”
“I might be able to find you something at the gym to get you started.”
“We don’t have anywhere to stay,” Dani said, her face flushed. “Is there a shelter around here? We don’t have money.…”
Karen turned around from the sink, gave Patrick a look. I wondered what it meant. Did she want him to get rid of us?
“Let’s talk about that later,” Patrick said. “I’ll show you the gym.”