We decided Dani would crouch against the wall, then I’d climb up her back and try to see out the gap. I managed to get up, wobbling and trying not to lose my balance while Courtney and Dani called out encouragement, but I wasn’t tall enough—the gap was still over a foot away.
Next we tried my sitting on Dani’s shoulders as she slowly stood up, but we didn’t gain any height. I could see a bit of the plastic ripped in the corner, a faint breeze moving it back and forth, and treetops outside. She lowered me down.
“We have to try again, maybe with Courtney,” I said, my voice cracking.
“She’s only a couple of inches taller,” Dani said.
I screamed up at the gap, “Help! Someone help!”
Courtney stood behind me, joining in. “Help!”
We took turns screaming for help over and over until we were hoarse. Then sat, tried to catch our breath.
“What day is it?” Courtney said, her voice raw.
“Tuesday, I think,” Dani said.
“Jess’s birthday.”
Tears came to my eyes, then I was sobbing in big desperate heaves. My sisters shuffled over, pressed their shoulders against my sides. I leaned into Dani, crying harder. After a while I sat back up, rubbed my eyes dry on my knees, took a few breaths.
The heat was rising in the building and we were covered in sweat, our hair damp. We couldn’t take our sweatshirts off with our hands tied, and the hot air pressed in around us. We had almost drunk the pail dry already.
“We should save the rest. We don’t know when they’ll be back,” Dani said.
“We have to get out before they come back,” Courtney said, her voice frantic. “They’re going to rape us—they’re going to kill us.”
We looked at each other, the words hanging in the air. I felt a sob build in my throat, choked it back, and turned to Dani.
“What are we going to do?”
“Get out of here.” She pushed at the door with her body, banged her shoulder into it, then kicked it over and over until I worried she was going to break her foot.
“Stop!” I yelled. “Stop, Dani!” But she kept kicking, screaming in rage. Finally she stopped, sinking to her knees in front of the door, her head hanging.
“They might let us go … after,” I said quietly, but I knew none of us believed it.
“We’re just going to have to find a way to get away from them,” she said, lifting her head back up, trying to sound confident, but I heard the fear.
“If we tell them we’re on the run, they’ll know we won’t talk about it,” Courtney said.
“They need to think people are looking for us,” Dani said, getting back to her feet and coming to sit beside us.
“Then they’ll have even more reason to shut us up for good,” Courtney said.
Dani looked away, squeezing her eyes shut like she was trying not to cry.
“I’ll do it,” Courtney said. “I’ll go first.”
“What are you talking about?” I said.
“Maybe they’ll leave you alone.”
“Stop it!” I said, desperate to stop the horrible thoughts and images flooding my mind. “We’ll fight them.”
“We already tried that,” Courtney said.
“We can’t just give in!”
“Sometimes giving in is fighting, Jess. We can control it.”
“Dani, stop her,” I said.
“Courtney’s right. We’ll do what they want, but they have to leave you alone.”
“You can’t do that!” I was crying. “This is my fault.”
“It’s my fault for messing around,” Courtney said. “You’re young, it’ll hurt you more.”
“They’ll still hurt you.”
“I can shut my mind down. It’s like I’m not even there. I can fake it.” But she sounded like she was faking it right now, trying to sound brave so I didn’t get scared.
“Then what?” I said. “Even if you do that, they’re not going to let us go.”
We were silent.
CHAPTER EIGHT
The room was almost dark by the time we heard the truck pulling up outside, country music blaring. It went silent, then doors slammed shut. I looked at Dani, fear shooting through my body, squeezing the breath out of my lungs.
“Do you think they’ll kill us?”
“They’d have done it already,” she said, but her eyes were wide, her face frozen as she stared at the door.
Scraping sounds: they were prying the board off. We shuffled closer together, standing in the corner, prepared for an attack. The boys came into the room, Gavin carrying our lantern and a brown paper bag. Brian walked over and dumped some water in the pail. We were all thirsty, but none of us made a move. The boys seemed agitated, their movements jerky and fast, rubbing at their faces, their hair, the smell of beer rolling off them. My legs began to shake.
Dani spoke first. “We know you didn’t mean to hurt us last night—you were just drunk and angry. If you let us go, we won’t tell anyone.”
“Sorry, girls, we can’t do that,” Brian said. He walked back over to Gavin and took the brown bag from him.
“People are looking for us—”