“Hi, Walter.”
I couldn’t see him from where I was in the kitchen but heard his voice say, “You girls okay? Heard some shots.”
“Yeah, rat was in the cupboards again—got him this time.”
“You girls need to be careful with that gun.”
“We are—Dad taught us.”
“Thought I heard his truck earlier.” My hand froze midair as I reached for a mug.
“That was just Courtney getting dropped off.”
I took a breath. Good thinking, Dani.
“When’s your daddy coming home? He’s late on rent.”
“Should be any day. Anything extra we can do around the place?”
“Don’t know, Dani. We’ve found you just about as much work as we can, you know?” Silence for a moment, then he said, “What’s that smell?”
Shit, could he smell the blood?
“What smell?” Dani sounded calm but she was gripping the door so tight her knuckles were white.
“Like something’s burned.”
“Oh, that’s just Jess. She left a pan on the stove too long, burnt some eggs. We’re all up so we figured we’d make a snack, but Jess is useless in the kitchen.” She laughed.
I called out, “Evening, Walter.”
He called back, “Evening, Jess.” Then, to Dani, “You kids should get to bed. Big day tomorrow on the farm.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Okay, then. Let me know when your daddy shows up.”
“Sure will.”
She closed the door, sagging against it, then peeked through the side window until we heard his truck driving away.
She turned back around. “We have to get rid of the body.”
*
We found an old plastic tarp in the garage and rolled Dad onto it. It took all three of us to move him. Then we pulled the tarp around him, wrapping duct tape around his ankles and upper body to hold it in place. We shoved the bloody towels and rags into a garbage bag. We worked quickly, not speaking, but Courtney kept sniffling and Dani’s face was pale, her eyes angry.
I kept seeing Dad’s smile when he called me Peanut, how he took us four-wheeling or shooting, remembered to get me film, bought Dani seeds. He taught us that being girls didn’t mean we needed to rely on men, showed us how to change the oil and tires on the truck and fix things at the house. When he was around we weren’t scared of anyone or anything. But we were always scared of him. I thought about the cigarette burns on my legs, the time he threw Courtney out of the truck, how his eyes would turn to slits when he’d been drinking. I felt like he was glaring at me through the tarp, could hear his voice in my head.
You fucking useless bitches.
“Should we put him in the quarry?” Dani said. The old gravel quarry, now full of water, was half a mile away, so deep people said there were logging trucks at the bottom.
Courtney shook her head. “We have to bury him or he could float up.”
“Somewhere no one will look,” Dani said. “It can’t be near our house.”
We were silent, thinking.
“What about the pig field?” I said. “Under the trough. The ground is always wet because of the mud—and they haven’t moved that trough in years.”
Dani was nodding. “It will help with the smell too.”
I flinched, but Dani’s mouth was a tight line.
*
We lifted him, groaning under his weight, and carried him to the back door. We set him down while Dani ran to the shed and came back with the wheelbarrow.
We walked him down the back stairs, then laid him across the wheelbarrow, resting the sack of rags and a couple of shovels on top. We took turns, two pushing while one forged ahead. We had to take a back trail that connected our house with the farm. Normally a ten-minute walk, it took us twenty minutes of pushing and we were covered in sweat and breathing hard. We moved the trough, slipping and sliding in the mud, then started to dig. The ground was dry once we got through the mud, and we were filthy and exhausted by the time we had a deep enough hole.
We pushed the wheelbarrow closer and rolled our father out. He landed partway in the hole and we had to shove him the rest of the way. He barely fit. Dani threw the garbage bag into the grave. It made a thud and we looked around. The night was silent except for one of the farm dogs barking up on the hill. I hoped Walter didn’t come out to investigate.
“Should we say something?” Courtney whispered.
We looked down at the body, the black shroud shiny in the moonlight.
Worthless—the whole lot of you.…
I dug into the dirt and threw a shovelful down the hole, then another, faster and faster, crying with each toss. My sisters joined in.
When we were done, Dani grabbed me and Courtney for a hug. We held on tight, our skin and breath merging.
“It’ll be okay,” Dani said.
*