And then I heard something, something that made my heart seem to stop, and then stutter back to life, twice as fast. The boat’s engine was starting up.
Panic washed over me like a cold sea wave and I tried to think—we weren’t moving yet. There was a chance the gangway was still down. I would have heard it being raised. I remembered from when we set out from Hull that the engine had hummed and thrummed for a good long time before we actually departed. But it was a ticking clock. How long did I have? Half an hour? A quarter? Perhaps less, given there were no passengers on board, no reason to hang about.
I stood there, frozen in agonized indecision. Should I make a run for it? Was Richard asleep? I couldn’t tell from the reflection in the balcony barrier—it was too blurred and indistinct.
Craning my head and moving as stealthily as I dared, I peered around the edge of the veranda door and into the silent room—but just as I did, he shifted and reached for a glass, and I whipped my head back, my heart thumping.
Fuck. It must be one a.m. Why wasn’t he asleep? Was he waiting for Carrie? But I had to get off the ship. I had to.
I thought of the veranda windows, how they could be opened from the outside, how someone very brave—or very stupid—might scale the high glass wall between the verandas and gain entry to an empty cabin. Once inside I could just let myself out of cabin 2 and then make a break for the gangway. I didn’t care what story I had to spin when I got there. Somehow I would get off this boat, if not for me, then for Anne, and Carrie. No—fuck it.
For me.
I was getting off this boat for me—because I had done nothing to deserve this apart from being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and I was damned if Bullmer was going to add me to the list of women he had screwed over.
I looked down at myself, at the flowing, slippery lines of the kimono, impossible to climb in, and I untied the belt and shrugged off the soft silk. It fell to the floor with barely a whisper, and I picked it up, balled up the fabric as tight as I could, and then tossed it over the privacy screen, where it landed with a soft, barely perceptible flump.
Then I looked up at the glass screen, towering above me, and swallowed.
I was never going to be able to climb the privacy screen itself, that was clear. At least not without some serious equipment and/or a ladder. But the barrier over the sea—that I probably could climb. It was rib height, and I was flexible enough to get one leg up and over and pull myself to sit astride it, and from there I could use the privacy screen to stand up.
There was just one problem. It was over the sea.
I’m not phobic about water—at least, I never used to be. But as I looked over the edge at the dark waves, sucking hungrily at the ship’s prow, I felt my stomach shift and roll in a way not unlike seasickness.
Shit. Was I really going to do this? Apparently, yes.
I wiped my sweaty palms on the back of the Lycra leggings and took a deep breath. It wouldn’t be easy—I wasn’t fooling myself. But it was possible. Carrie had done it, after all, to get into my cabin. If she could do it, so could I.
I flexed my fingers, and then very slowly I hooked one leg up onto the glass overlooking the sea, and using all the strength in my weak caged-hen muscles, I pulled myself up so I was sitting astride the wall of glass. To the left of me was the cabin, its curtains pulled back, the veranda doors framing me in full view for anyone who turned their head to see. To my right was a sheer drop to the waters of the fjord below—I had no idea how far, but from this angle it looked like the equivalent of a two- or three-story house. I was not sure which side was more frightening—I just had to hope that my movements didn’t attract Richard’s attention. I swallowed and gripped the slippery glass with my legs, trying to get my courage up for the next step. I hadn’t done the hard bit yet. That was coming.
Shaking with fear and exertion, I got one foot up in front of me, and I gripped the edge of the frosted privacy screen and hauled myself to standing. Now, all I had to do was edge my body weight out, round the seaward side of the privacy glass, and swing myself to safety on the other side.
All. Yeah. Right.
I took a deep breath, feeling my cold, sweaty fingers slip on the glass. There was no bloody purchase. Every other part of this boat was pimped up, couldn’t they have spared a little bling for the privacy glass? Just a few rhinestones, some fancy etching, something to give my fingers an edge to hang on to?
I put one foot out, edging it round the high wall of glass . . . and I instantly knew the espadrilles had been a mistake.