“Outstanding,” Jake said. “Truly remarkable. I’ve never seen an eighty-year-old woman rap. Ten bucks says it goes viral tomorrow.”
“I do love the YouTube.” Grandma sighed.
“What’s so important?” Petunia yelled as she walked over to their little table. Her bright blue dress accented her blue eyes and silver hair. “I had to walk all the way over from my seat.”
“One moment.” Grandma held up her hand.
Char looked around. What was she waiting for?
“Ah, here they come.”
A striking elderly man in a walker began moving toward them. He had another nice gentleman with him who cut a handsome figure in a black suit.
“Who is that?”
“My lover. Actually we mean to marry this winter.” She shrugged. “At any rate, he has a brother. I’d like you to meet him.”
“No.” Petunia folded her arms. “I will do no such thing I won’t—”
“Nadine!” Mr. Casbon reached for her hand and kissed it. “Lovely as ever, and such a beautiful song you sang, my dear.”
“I practiced.” She beamed.
Jake started to laugh, but Char elbowed him in the ribs. He stopped and coughed.
“And who is this lovely creature?” The other man said to Petunia. “I’ve been watching you all evening, my dear. You are… stunning.”
“Uh.” Petunia looked at Grandma and then back at the man and held out her hand. “P-petunia.”
“Ah, as lovely as the flower!” He took her hand. “May I have this dance?”
Petunia’s cheeks stained a pretty pink before she gave a quick nod and followed him out onto the dance floor.
“Grandma.” Jake cleared his throat.
“Yes, dear?”
“Mr. Casbon doesn’t have a brother.”
Mr. Casbon chuckled and looked away.
“He does tonight, son.”
“Where’d you find him?”
Grandma picked at the front of her dress and then examined her nails.
“Grandma.” Jake urged. “Where did you find him?”
“He’s a male escort.” She waved Jake off. “Charges a pretty penny too, but I think that they’ll be just lovely together. You know he lost his wife a few years back. He does this just for fun. Lots of widows out there that need company.”
Char’s mouth dropped open. Jake touched her chin and closed it.
“Shall we dance?” Grandma grabbed Mr. Casbon and led him onto the floor, walker and all.
Char watched in shock as Petunia laughed and danced as if she was having the time of her life.
“Hmm.” Jake shook his head. “Male escort?”
“Well, at least she’s happy.” Char pointed. “I mean, look at them!”
Chuckling, Jake stood and pulled Char to her feet. “I don’t want to look at them. I want to look at you.”
“Oh.”
“You’re beautiful.”
“Is this one?” Bets yelled into the microphone. “Oh yes, good, it’s time to cut the cake.”
Everyone clapped.
Jake and Char walked arm in arm to the cake table and froze.
The bows were melting.
“Holy shit,” Jake said under his breath. “We have to do something.”
And then the caterer turned the cake toward the crowd.
A large gasp was heard, followed by many murmurs.
“Make it better!” Char pushed Jake toward the cake. “Go!”
He dug his heels in the ground. “Oh, hell no, I’m not going down on my own. “ He grabbed her wrist and pulled her with him, just as Travis and Kacey made their way to the table.
The first to notice was Travis. His eyes bugged out of his head and then he looked at Kacey.
She was happily looking up at him with adoration in her eyes, and then as if sensing his dismay, looked at the table and covered her mouth.
“Er, surprise!” Char shouted loud enough for everyone to hear.
Travis gaped. “Surprise?”
“We…” Char hit Jake.
“Wanted.” He coughed. “To…” His face went blank. Oh no, he had nothing to say, nothing. Of all the times to lose his game, now was not it!
Kacey and Travis waited.
Finally Jake hung his head. “We’re the worst best man and maid of honor ever. They couldn’t fix it in time. So it says—”
“Tit’s forever!” Grandma yelled over the microphone. “And let me tell you, those Titus boys love their—”
“A toast!” Bets screamed over Grandma. “To Travis and Kacey!”
Everyone lifted their glasses just as Kacey and Travis went over to the cake and examined the topper.
“At least it looks like us,” Kacey said.
“And I do like your—”
“Tremendous heart!” Bets said. “Well done, lovely, lovely cake.” She chugged the rest of her wine and looked about two seconds away from passing out.
Jake sighed. “Let’s take the topper off before mom flips.”
Char burst out laughing. “Get it? Take the topper off the Tits?”
They fell into fits of giggles until someone wiped cake on her face. It was Jake, the ass! And then Travis wiped cake on Kacey’s face.
And then a full-on war started.
One where Travis and Jake eventually relented, saying they didn’t want to ruin the girls’ pretty makeup. When really Kacey and Char knew the real reason they begged off was because they knew they’d lose. After all, the Titus boys never did stand a chance.
Chapter Sixty-two