Char didn’t really want to talk about Jake; she nodded but tried to pretend she wasn’t interested.
“He was already ruined.” Grandma patted Char’s hand. “The minute he set eyes on you in that wedding gown. I bought it, you know.”
“What?” Char shrieked, gaining attention from the guests around the table waiting for the first course. She coughed and hid behind her dark hair. “Tell me you’re joking, Grandma!”
“Oops.” Grandma shrugged. “I thought you liked that dress. And it was so pretty on you. Truly divine.” She poured herself a glass of wine and closed her eyes as she took a deep sip, then placed the glass back on the table. “Besides, you may need it one of these days.”
“Right.” Char fought back tears. “I guess anything’s possible.”
“Oh, but it is.” Grandma said. “Did you know I always wanted to be a fairy godmother?”
“Huh?”
“Most girls want to be the princess in the story. I want to be the fairy godmother.”
Was she drunk? Already?
“Okay.” Char squinted. “Well, all you need is a wand and some magic, and anything’s possible.”
“Got my wand, and all grandmas have magic.” She shrugged. “So, tell me about Jace.”
“He’s…” Char looked down the table. His blond hair was combed back, revealing perfect green eyes and a chiseled face. “Nice.”
Grandma sputtered with laughter. “Oh dear, that man is many things. ‘Nice’ would not be the word I would use to describe him. He’s damn sexy is what he is. A beast among men.”
“Grandma.” Char groaned. “Keep your voice down.”
“Well.” Grandma lifted her hands in the air. “All I’m saying is, that man could make a girl melt with just one stare.” As if hearing them, Jace looked at Grandma and winked. “Good Lord, I think I just experienced a mini-stroke.”
“Seriously?” Char reached for the elderly woman’s arm in panic.
“Well.” Grandma winked back at Jace. “If that was a stroke, I want another.”
Char felt her face heat.
“He doesn’t turn your clock?” Grandma asked.
Char choked on her wine and began coughing wildly as Grandma smacked her hard on the back. “Dear, drink slower. You’ll get a stain on that pretty yellow sundress.”
“Right. It was the wine that did it,” Char croaked. “Not the clock turning.”
“Well.” Grandma leaned forward and whispered. “What do you kids call it these days? Does he get you—”
“Grandma!” Char hissed. “Stop, just stop.” She covered her face with her hands in embarrassment. “He’s a nice guy, but not…” She was about to say ‘not Jake’ when he came in and sat at the end of the table. Her eyes betrayed her will as they greedily took in every damn plane of his perfect body. Jake leaned forward on the table, his forearms brushing against the flowers scattered around his plate. Oh, but if she were only a flower.
“I see,” Grandma said in a low voice. “He’s not my grandson.”
“What?” Char pulled her gaze from Jake and began twisting her hands in her lap.
“Jace.” Grandma pointed. “He could be two steps above Marlon Brando and you’d still look at him as if he were nothing but a stand-in.”
“Marlon Brando? Stand in?” Char smiled tightly but didn’t glance up at Grandma.
“For the one you really want.” Grandma placed her hand on Char’s, calming her down. A few diamond rings shone from her fingers as she continued to pat. “My grandson. You’re in love with him.”
“I’m—” But she couldn’t deny it so instead she met Grandma’s gaze and said, “Please don’t tell him.”
Jerking back, Grandma snorted. “Honey, if he don’t know you love him now, he’s an idiot. Then again, he is a man.” She looked in his direction and threw her hands in the air. “He looks miserable. Probably all the sex he’s not having.”
And there went Char’s racing heartbeat. Did Grandma just say ‘sex’ again? At the dinner table?
This time her words drew the attention of Travis and Kacey, who both gave her pleading looks as if to say please, no more embarrassing moments.
Pastor Jim choked on his wine, while the table fell silent.
Helpless, Char looked to Grandma.
“I was discussing Petunia.”
Oh no. Petunia stiffened across the table, and her eyes narrowed on Grandma as if she was the spawn of Satan. “I do not say such vulgar words.”
“No, you just knit and read dirty books.”
“Well, I never—”
“Don’t deny it.” Grandma swirled her wine in her glass. “I’ve seen those books firsthand. You aren’t as prudish as you let on, sister.”
Petunia’s lips pinched together as she looked around the table. “She’s clearly drunk.”
“Tell me, did Captain Jack find his way home with the slave girl? I haven’t gotten to that part yet, though I have to admit I’m very excited to see if they’re able to—”
“Grandma,” Travis warned.
She shrugged. “I was going to say ‘fall in love’.”
“My ass,” Jake muttered from the other side.