Jake shrugged. “What is it? I’ll put it in the navigation.”
Char read off the address. Luckily, wherever they were going was only a few blocks away from downtown, closer to the college as well as to Queen Anne Hill.
After they turned down the right street Jake added, “I wouldn’t put it past Grandma to get them something inappropriate; just a fair warning.”
“Please.” Char rolled her eyes. “How bad could it be?”
Chapter Twenty-six
Jake realized that it could be that bad and worse when they pulled up to a drugstore. “I don’t get it. This is the address she gave us?”
He looked at the paper again and then at his watch. It was getting late and as much as he didn’t mind being with Char, there was no chance in hell was he going to actually spend late into the evening with her, not with the way his body was acting. He’d ruin everything. Wow, so now he was turning into a runner. Never thought he’d see that day.
“So should we just leave?” Char asked.
“I’ll call her.” Jake pulled out his phone and dialed Grandma’s number. She answered on the second ring.
“What?”
“We’re at the drugstore. Did you give us the wrong address for the gift?”
“No.”
Damn, the woman could try the patience of a priest. “Right. So is it in the drugstore?”
“Yes, they are.”
“They?”
Grandma yelled something and covered the phone and then cleared her throat. “Yes, just go in and tell them you’re there to pick up the things for Jake Titus.”
“Why’d you put it under my name?”
Grandma paused and then laughed. “Oh, I’ll be right there!”
“Huh?”
“Not you.” She giggled. “It’s under your name because you’re picking everything up. Now just go introduce yourself to the nice manager. He should be working tonight, and he’s expecting you.”
“Grandma, I hate to ask—”
“Then don’t!” The phone went dead.
Jake cursed and put it in his front pocket. “Something tells me we shouldn’t go in.”
Ignoring him, Char opened the door. “Come on, grow a pair. It’s just a drug store. She could have gotten them a gift card or something and needed us to pick it up.”
Jake thought he should really learn to listen to that inner voice. You know, the one that screams May Day! or Red Alert! when you’re walking into a trap. Everything about going into the drug store screamed trap.
Instead of listening to his inner voice, he ignored it altogether, mainly because Char was walking in front of him and he found himself hypnotized by the sway of her hips. He could do nothing less than follow.
But he really should have stayed where he was.
He knew that the minute they walked into the store and he introduced himself.
“Oh!” Bob, the manager, held out his hand. “We’ve been waiting for you! Now I think I have everything your grandmother needed right here for that wedding night!” He winked.
Jake cringed.
Char looked into the basket.
She really shouldn’t have.
Bob, thinking she couldn’t see, dumped the contents of the basket onto the counter.
“Now.” Bob cleared his throat. “Your grandmother has expressed interest in grandchildren. This is the top of the line fertility test. It will of course show when the lovely lady…” he waved at Char, then looked back at Jake, “will be ovulating. Do you know how to use one of these, miss?”
Char’s eyes widened with horror. Her mouth opened and closed.
Jake laughed nervously. “She uh, I mean we will… figure it out.”
Char gave him a look that said over my dead body will we be figuring anything out together. But otherwise she said nothing.
“Now these.” Bob pulled out a box of condoms and waved them in the air. “Oh wait, no that’s not right; they’re the wrong size.”
“We’ll take them.” Jake tried to put the condoms back in the basket but Bob jerked them away just in time.
“Now, young man.” Bob shook his finger in Jake’s face. “You know as well as I do how irresponsible it is to wear a condom that doesn’t exactly fit. Your grandmother and I have been over all your… issues. You need the right size—”
“Perfect!” Jake interrupted, feeling his face heat. “Those are perfect.” He reached for the box but Bob pulled it away and then called in to the intercom.
“Yeah, Stacey, can you run back to aisle three and grab the extra small Trojan box? A customer needs them.”
Good Lord above.
He was going to murder his grandmother.
Jake laughed nervously. “No really, it’s a joke. My grandmother’s joking. I’m not really… I mean, that’s not actually true. I’m not that size; I’m, I’m…” Well shit, what was he supposed to say?
Panicked, he looked to Char for help.