Frederick ducked his head, almost shyly, then lifted it. His eyes sparkled. "It's been a while, hasn't it?"
Was it possible that Frederick was flirting with her, on the day of her mother's funeral? She made a motion to move away. He took her hand. "Annie," he said hoarsely, "I mean it. I know now is not the time. I'm truly sorry about your mother. But I also wanted to tell you that I know I haven't been . . . well, I haven't exactly behaved the way I would want to . . . but I'd like to pick up where we left off . . . try again . . ."
There was Josie staring blankly into the distance, standing alone. Why was he alone? Where was Betty? Where is my mother? Annie wondered. I want my mother. The room was too warm. Frederick wanted to pick up where they'd left off.
She withdrew her hand. "How is Amber?"
"Amber?" he said dismissively. "Amber's off on her honeymoon."
Annie backed away in confusion. Amber was on her honeymoon. Frederick had taken hold of both her hands. They might have been dancing. She watched Miranda sobbing on Charlie's shoulder. She wanted to sob on Charlie's shoulder. But Amber was on her honeymoon. "On her honeymoon? By herself?"
"Of course not by herself," Frederick said, obviously annoyed at the interruption to his earnest declaration. "She's with Evan."
"Evan?"
"Ah, Evan, my wayward son . . . But 'let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments . . .'"
Annie clapped her hands on her head. Perhaps Frederick was insane. That had never occurred to her. The marriage of true minds indeed.
Frederick laughed. He couldn't help it. She was the picture of bafflement. "'Confusion now hath made his masterpiece!'"
Macbeth again? she thought automatically, then: "But Amber and Evan . . ."
"Quite a scandal, you're right."
"Jeez Louise. " Annie thought: Frederick, whatever your missteps, in spite of them, because of them, you must be reeling. I am reeling. Are you reeling, too? She wanted to sit down. She tried to focus on Frederick. "Are you okay? I mean . . ."
Frederick thought for a moment. He pursed his lips in a small, private smile, shook his head slowly, and said, "Truly? I think it's a match made in heaven. Those two will give each other a run for their money."
"But what about . . . well . . . the baby?"
A short, ugly laugh, though Frederick was no longer smiling. Annie was sorry she'd asked. Just to satisfy her curiosity? What if something awful had happened, a miscarriage, say? And what if there was no miscarriage? Your own son raising your baby, his baby brother? Very Tobacco Road.
Frederick said, "The baby, eh?" He looked at her closely. "You mean Gwen's baby, of course."
Annie said nothing. Her mother was gone. She had no mother.
"Gwen's baby is due next month." He gave her a sharp look with those eyes. No twinkle this time.
Annie forced herself to smile. "Well!" she said. She supposed she would never know exactly what had happened. But there was to be no Frederick Jr., of that she was sure. How liberated Frederick must have been that his mistake turned out to be a mistake. She imagined him discovering the news--an abortion? A simple lie?
Whatever Amber had done or not done, had said or not said, Annie realized suddenly that she didn't care.
"Things don't turn out the way we expect sometimes." Her voice held more meaning than she had anticipated.
Frederick raised an eyebrow.
"Things end," she said. "Don't they?"
"Pity," he said.
He kissed her cheek, back to his good humor, unruffled by the messy lives of others, even his own children's, even, especially, the mess of his own life. He smiled. Frederick's smile was magnetic, she could still feel its pull. But it was a magnet that had a switch, a convenient toggle to turn it on and turn it off. Frederick was always safe, drawing to him only as much as he wanted, giving back only as much as he wanted to give back, a self-sustaining, self-sufficient circuit, a private Marxism of the soul. Frederick could afford to have a twinkle in his eye.
Will he say Comedy of Errors? Annie wondered.
"A veritable Comedy of Errors," he said.
Annie thanked him silently for the "veritable." It would sustain her when she mourned his absence. For she mourned his absence even now, as he stood before her.
"I have to go," she said.
Annie held her sons in her arms, first Nick, then Charlie, and felt their broad, manly shoulders shake with sobs. She stroked their heads, her hands absorbing the shape, the warmth. How could she stop? She clung to them. During the funeral ceremony, she sat behind them, refusing to take her eyes off them. She remembered them as children, tiny children, asleep on the big bed in Betty's apartment, Charlie clutching his rabbit and a stale bagel, Nick in a basket. Betty sat upright between, looking first at one, then the other. For hours.
Miranda sat down beside her, took her hand.
Roberts sat quietly on her other side, his long legs tilted off to one side.