Lale makes it through the next day. He does his bit, helping to carry one of the murdered men back. He hates himself for having thoughts only of the pain it causes him, with little compassion for the dead man. What is happening to me? Step by step the pain in his shoulders threatens to drag him down. Fight it, fight it.
As they enter the camp, Lale’s attention is caught by two people standing just beyond the fence that separates the prisoners from the staff quarters. The diminutive Cilka stands beside Lagerführer Schwarzhuber. A guard on Lale’s side of the fence is talking to them. Lale stops, slackening his grip on the corpse, which causes the prisoner holding the other end of the body to stumble and fall. Lale looks at Cilka, who peers back at him before saying something to Schwarzhuber. He nods and points to Lale. Cilka and Schwarzhuber walk away as the guard approaches Lale.
‘Come with me.’
Lale rests the legs he’s been carrying on the ground and looks for the first time at the dead man’s face. His compassion returns and he bows his head at this tragic end to yet another life. He gives an apologetic glance to the other man carrying the body and hurries to follow the guard. The other inmates of Block 31 all stare after him.
The guard tells Lale, ‘I’m instructed to take you to your old room in the Gypsy camp.’
‘I know the way.’
‘Suit yourself.’ The guard leaves him.
Lale stops outside the Gypsy camp, watching the children run around. Several of them look at him, trying to make sense of his return. The T?towierer, they have been told, is dead. One of them runs to Lale, throwing his arms around his waist, hugging him tight, welcoming him ‘home’. The others join in, and before long adults are coming out of the block to greet him. ‘Where have you been?’ they ask. ‘Are you injured?’ He deflects all their questions.
Nadya is standing at the back of the group. Lale makes eye contact with her. Pushing his way through the men, women and children, he stops in front of her. With a finger he wipes a tear from her cheek. ‘It’s good to see you, Nadya.’
‘We’ve missed you. I’ve missed you.’
All Lale can do is nod. He needs to get away quickly before he breaks down in front of everyone. He rushes to his room, closes the door on the world and lies on his old bed.
Chapter 21
‘Are you sure you’re not a cat?’
Lale hears the words and struggles to register where he is. He opens his eyes to find a grinning Baretski leaning over him.
‘What?’
‘You must be a cat, because you sure have more lives than anyone else here.’
Lale struggles to sit up.
‘It was …’
‘Cilka, yes, I know. Must be nice to have friends in high places.’
‘I’d gladly give my life for her not to need such friends.’
‘You nearly did give your life. Not that it would’ve helped her.’
‘Yeah, that’s one situation I can’t do anything about.’
Baretski laughs. ‘You really think you run these camps, don’t you? Hell, maybe you do. You’re still alive and you shouldn’t be. How did you get out of Block 11?’
‘I have no idea. When they took me out, I was sure I was headed for the Black Wall, but then I was thrown in a truck and brought back here.’
‘I’ve never known anyone to walk away from the Strafkompanie, so well done,’ Baretski says.
‘That’s one piece of history I don’t mind making. How come I’ve got my old room back?’
‘Easy. It comes with the job.’
‘What?’
‘You’re the T?towierer, and all I can say is, thank God. The eunuch who replaced you was no match.’
‘Houstek is letting me have my job back?’
‘I wouldn’t go anywhere near him. He didn’t want you back; he wanted you shot. It was Schwarzhuber who had other plans for you.’
‘I need to get my hands on at least some chocolate for Cilka.’
‘T?towierer, don’t. You will be watched very closely. Now come on, I’ll take you to work.’
As they are leaving the room Lale says, ‘I’m sorry I wasn’t able to get you the nylons you wanted. I’d made arrangements but got derailed.’
‘Mm, well, at least you tried. Anyway, she’s not my girlfriend anymore. She dumped me.’
‘Sorry to hear that. I hope it wasn’t because of something I suggested you say to her.’
‘I don’t think so. She just met someone who is in the same town – hell, the same country – as her.’
Lale considers saying something more, but decides to let it drop. Baretski leads him out of his block and into the compound, where a truckload of men has arrived and a selection is taking place. He smiles inwardly at the sight of Leon working, dropping the tattoo stick, spilling ink. Baretski wanders off and Lale approaches Leon from behind.
‘Need a hand?’
Leon turns around, knocking a bottle of ink over as he grasps Lale by the hand, shaking it vigorously, overjoyed.
‘It’s so good to see you!’ he cries.
‘Believe me, it’s good to be back. How are you?’
‘Still pissing sitting down. Otherwise I’m OK. So much better now that you’re here.’
‘Let’s get on with it then. Looks like they’re sending quite a few our way.’
‘Does Gita know you’re back?’ Leon asks.
‘I think so. It was her friend Cilka who got me out.’
‘The one who … ?’
‘Yes. I’ll try to see them tomorrow. Give me one of those sticks. I’d better not give them any excuse to throw me back where I was.’
Leon holds out his tattoo stick as he rummages around in Lale’s bag for another one. Together they begin work, tattooing the newest residents of Birkenau.
?
The next afternoon, Lale waits outside the administration building as the girls leave work. Dana and Gita don’t see him until he stands right in front of them, blocking their path. A moment passes before they react. Then both girls throw their arms around him and hug him tightly. Dana cries. No tears come from Gita. Lale releases them and takes each by the hand.
‘Both still beautiful,’ he tells them.
Gita smacks him on the arm with her free hand.
‘I thought you were dead. Again. I thought I’d never see you again.’
‘Me too,’ says Dana.
‘But I’m not. Thanks to you, and to Cilka, I’m not. I’m here with the two of you, where I should be.’
‘But …’ cries Gita.
Lale pulls her towards him and holds her securely.
Dana kisses him on the cheek. ‘I’ll leave you two. It’s so good to see you, Lale. I thought Gita would die of a broken heart if you didn’t come back soon.’
‘Thank you, Dana,’ says Lale. ‘You’re a good friend, to both of us.’
She walks off, the smile not leaving her face.
Hundreds of prisoners mill around the compound, as Lale and Gita stand there, not knowing what to do next.
‘Close your eyes,’ Lale says.
‘What?’
‘Close them and count to ten.’
‘But –’
‘Just do it.’
One eye at a time, Gita does as she is told. She counts to ten, then opens them. ‘I don’t understand.’
‘I’m still here. I’ll never leave you again.’
‘Come on, we have to keep moving,’ she tells him.
They walk towards the women’s camp. With no bribe for the kapo, Lale can’t risk Gita being late back. They lean gently in towards each other.
‘I don’t know how much longer I can stand this.’
‘It can’t last forever, my darling. Just hang in there, please hang in there. We’ll have the rest of our lives together.’
‘But –’
‘No buts. I promised you we’d leave this place and make a life together.’
‘How can we? We can’t know what tomorrow will bring. Look at what just happened to you.’
‘I’m here with you now, aren’t I?’
‘Lale –’
‘Leave it, Gita.’
‘Will you tell me what happened to you? Where you’ve been?’
Lale shakes his head. ‘No. I’m back here with you now. What matters is what I’ve told you many times, that we will leave this place and have a free life together. Trust me, Gita.’
‘I do.’
Lale likes the sound of that.
‘One day you will say those two little words to me under different circumstances. In front of a rabbi, surrounded by our family and friends.’
Gita giggles and lays her head briefly on his shoulder as they reach the entrance to the women’s camp.
?
As Lale walks back to his block, two youths approach and walk alongside him.
‘You’re the T?towierer?’
‘Who’s asking?’ says Lale.
‘We hear you might be able to get us some extra food.’