“No, thanks,” I reply, sliding off my apron and hanging it on the hook by the fridge. I grab my bag and slide the strap up my arm.
Dylan sticks her hand on her hip, the fingers of her other hand drumming the wood. “What exactly are you planning on buying? I have a ton of running shorts and T-shirts. And we’re the same size, practically. Save your money and just borrow something.”
“I’ve seen the clothes you wear when you go running. Your tops barely give the illusion of breasts, and I plan on highlighting mine tonight.”
I also plan on leaving the tags on whatever I end up buying. Wearing an outfit for an hour, or less, depending on how long it takes Mason to kick everyone else out and strip me naked hardly classifies as a non-refundable purchase.
“Oh.” Dylan smiles. “I see. Really, Brooke. Why don’t you just save yourself the hassle and walk over there naked? I’m sure what’s his name won’t mind.”
“Walk over where naked?” Joey steps into the back, eyeing up the bag on my arm curiously.
Shit.
He raises an eyebrow. “Going somewhere?”
“No,” I lie to the man who for the past two months has taken it upon himself to monitor my spending. “Just . . . putting this up front.”
“She’s going to buy an outfit to wear to yoga. Something that gives the illusion of breasts.”
I whip my head around and glare at Dylan. “You have a big mouth, you know that? And I hardly need an illusion.”
Please. My biggest asset has never failed to get me the attention I want, when it’s showcased properly. Dylan’s baggy T-shirts are a tragedy to the female race. She has always had a killer body, but she looks like a potato with legs in those things.
Joey takes a step back and blocks my exit. Dylan chuckles off to my left.
“Really? What happened to saving up so you can move out?”
“I’m planning on returning it tomorrow,” I explain, stepping closer to him. “This is a necessary purchase in the name of sex. Sacrifices have to be made. Besides, I read somewhere that if you don’t use your credit card at least once every few weeks, the banks assume you’ve died and will close down all your accounts. I’ll lose my savings if I don’t go through with this.”
My eyes evade his, roaming casually around the shop.
I don’t understand why I have to explain one freaking purchase to either one of them. I’m an adult, for Christ’s sake. I’ve been extremely disciplined the past two months. The only thing I still buy is our morning coffees, and I never hear either one of them riding my ass about that. One calculated credit card charge isn’t going to kill me. And hello! Are they both not hearing the plan I have to return this shit tomorrow?
A throat clearing grabs my attention. Joey stares at me for a long second, his thick shoulder wedged against the door frame. “You don’t read.”
I throw my head back. “Ugh. Whatever, I’m going. I’ll be back in forty-five.”
“Thirty.”
I look over at Dylan. She smiles around the spoon in her mouth.
I roll my eyes. “Fine. Thirty.”
Damn it. It’s going to take me at least ten minutes to get to the mall. A girl who has never once shopped for a sports bra needs ample time to peruse. Do they even come in cup sizes? Is it a one size fits all deal?
Joey moves toward the worktop, freeing up my exit. “I’m going with you tonight.”
My feet skid to a halt in the doorway. I crane my neck to look at him. “Excuse me? What’s that now?”
“Going with you,” he repeats dryly, grabbing a spoon and dipping it into the vat of frosting Dylan just whipped up. He tastes it, makes an appreciative noise in the back of his throat, then looks over at me. “Billy will be at the office until God knows when. I’ll be bored sitting at home. Plus, I’m intrigued. Hot yoga. Even hotter instructor. You, trying to get his attention while working out for the first time in your life. Sounds like a good time for Joey.”
My teeth clench.
Oh, great. Like I need more people to shove out the door tonight for some much needed privacy.
I stare at the side of his big, nosy head. “You know, when you talk in third person, you sound like an idiot. Especially during sex. Joey’s so close. Joey’s going to come.”
Dylan gasps, her mouth stretching into a ball-busting grin. She shoves against Joey’s chest. “Oh my God. Please tell me you don’t do that. That’s fucking awful, Joey. Jesus!”
“I do not do that!”
“You make Joey feel so good. God, suck Joey’s . . .”
I purse my lips when his eyes flash with the threat of revenge.
Shit. Tonight. Yoga. He could seriously derail my plans to get some if he refuses to leave.
“Kidding. Totally made that up.” I curl my fingers around my shoulder strap. “I’m out. See you in forty.”
“Thirty!”
I smile at the two voices behind me.
“My time starts when I get to the mall. Later, bitches!”
The shop door chimes, drowning out their protests.
I grab my things out of the dressing room and move past the racks of clothes in the direction of the registers.