“Hey. Are you okay?” I ask, reaching up with a gentle hand. I stroke the side of his face and see him turn into me, pressing his lips against my palm. His breath warms my skin and I feel the uneven rhythm of it, the quick burst and then the shuddering inhale he takes before he drops his head again.
“Need you,” he says through a broken voice.
My heart wrenches in my chest cavity as I stare up at this man who looks defeated and beaten down. And also way too drunk to get behind the wheel. “You didn’t drive here, did you?”
“Cab. My car’s at The Tavern.”
Relief runs through me before I’m startled once again by the sound of the shop phone ringing. I dash over to it to answer, double backing when I think Reese is going to topple over. After he seems steady, I run to the phone.
“Hello?”
“Miss Sparks? This is Lenox Security calling to check to make sure everything is okay. We received an alert that your security system was triggered.”
“Yes. Yes, it was, but it was an accident. Everything’s okay.”
“Okay, ma’am, we just wanted to make sure. Have a great night.”
“You, too.”
I hang up the phone, rounding the counter and stepping next to Reese. I lift his arm, draping it around my neck and keeping a firm grip on his wrist. My other arm wraps around his waist and pulls him off the wall. “Come on. Let’s go upstairs.”
Normally when I’m this close to him, I’m relishing in his fresh, citrus scent and setting up camp in the crook of his neck. But right now, he smells like he’s hit up every bar in South Side and for the first time since I met him; the urge to nuzzle him is absent. He maneuvers himself with me across the bakery, but I’m doing most of the work as we make it inch by inch. It’s a slow effort and when I finally lift my head and size up the stairs we’ll have to tackle, my grip on him tightens and a feeling of determination fuels me. I look over at him as I position us at the first step. “You need to help me, okay? It’s not that many steps.”
His lips twitch into a smile before he drops his head to the side, bumping it against mine. “You’re so pretty.”
I chuckle, lurching forward and trying to bring him with me. “Thanks. Come on. Lift your feet.”
“I stare at you sometimes when you don’t see me. I like doing that.”
“Oh, yeah?” I sound surprised, but I’m not. I know Reese stares at me. I always feel his eyes on me when he does it. And I like that game we play, where I pretend I don’t notice and let him watch me. He does the same when I partake in my own obsessive gazing. I know he sees me. His lip will twitch or he’ll coincidentally adjust himself as I’m studying him, drawing my attention off his face.
I’m on to his tactics.
He lifts his left, then his right foot, putting us both on the first step. “I stared at you on my phone tonight. I didn’t really like it.”
We make it a few more steps as he leans further into me, causing me to let go of his wrist and grip the handrail instead. “Yeah? Let’s get you upstairs and then you can tell me why you didn’t like it.”
“I didn’t like it, Dylan.”
“I know. Come on. Just a little more. We’re almost there.” We get two steps away from the door when Reese suddenly drops to his knees, pulling me down with him. “Reese! Hold… what are you doing?”
He turns awkwardly until he’s sitting on the step. His head drops between slouched shoulders, and I see the slight shake of his hands as they hang over his knees. I slide next to him, placing a hand on his thigh. He lifts his head and turns to me, the worry in his eyes evident. “I can’t just stare at pictures of you. It’s not enough.”
“Well, I’m right here. You don’t have to stare at pictures. Let’s go upstairs and you can look at me all you want.” I go to stand when his hand grabs my wrist, halting me.
“I watch you all the time.” I lower myself back down as he drops his gaze, staring off at nothing. “If I’m not touching you, I want to be.”
“I know the feeling,” I interject, gaining his attention immediately.
His face hardens. “No. You don’t.” I open my mouth to argue but stop myself when I see the conviction in his eyes. “It’s constant, Dylan. You invade every thought I have even when they have nothing to do with you. I’m not just in love with you. I’m kind of obsessed. And the thought of somebody else watching you the way I do, or needing to touch you like I do…” He pauses, squeezing his eyes shut. “I’m terrified.”