“Don’t be ridiculous, Jax; Rome didn’t make me do anything I didn’t want to. She asked if she could kiss me and I let her, and we went back to her room…”
He looks up from his coffee. “She lives at the Narnia house? What’s her name?”
“Yeah,” I reply. “Her name’s Skye, and she looked like Tinker Bell.”
“Skye Turner. He watched, while Skye fucking Turner did her thing and came after you?”
I was confused. “No one came after me. The weed we had fucked with my head. It made me horny and just, I was just…” I try to think of a way to describe how I felt.
I had only ever tried LSD once, years ago when I was still at school. Marley had got it from somewhere; it was a little square piece of paper with the Superman logo on it. Sean, Marley, Jim and myself had all bunked off school and hid out in our summerhouse; it was a rainy winter’s day, and we knew my mum wouldn’t come out into the garden for anything. We had got our mark in the register after lunch and then all met up outside the school gates. We walked home to my house, snuck in the side gate and hid out in the summerhouse. We’d divided the little square into four, put the tiny pieces on our tongues and just let it dissolve. It took about an hour for the effects to start, and they were pretty similar to what I’d had last night; everything was bright, colourful and beautiful, and I just felt calm and peaceful…
“The weed I had was like a combination of taking acid and ecstasy, and I was fine with that; I felt great. Roman didn’t have any because he wanted to be straight for me; he wanted to be able to look after me.”
“That’s fucking good of him,” Jax gets in sarcastically, and I let out a long sigh.
“I should have just stuck with the weed. I was fine. I was better than fine; I felt the best I have in a long time.” I recall the feeling of total relaxation I’d had last night; free, uninhibited, that’s how I had felt. “Skye asked if she could kiss me, things got a little heavier, and we went back to her room while she went and showered. While me and Roman started getting it on, she got out the shower. We all did a line of coke and then she joined us on the bed. We were just kissing and fucking about, and then suddenly, it was just like bang; my heart rate increased and I just started to panic. I didn’t want her to touch me anymore. I just wanted to get out, get home, and be by myself.” Thinking about how the panic had come up from nowhere now was making me feel clammy, and I felt a little lightheaded. I finish the rest of my coffee and look over at Jax; his arms are folded across his chest, his legs stretched out in front of him, crossed at the ankles.
“He got me out of there, Jax, as soon as I started to freak. He told Skye to fuck off, and he got me out of there.” He pulls his brows into a deep frown.
“He shouldn’t have taken you there in the first fucking place, George; it’s full of weirdos. They do a lot of drugs. They grow a lot of their own stuff, and they have orgies up there. They invite people up there, get them off their heads and then get them to join in.” He runs both his hands through his hair. “I’m all for a bit of free loving, George; threesomes are great as long as everyone is sane and consenting. It’s not all right to let someone get off their trolley and then watch them do things they would never normally do.” I wasn’t going to waste my time explaining I was all good up until that point; I would just have to warn Roman that Jax was on the warpath.
“Anyway, Roman took me home, but I didn’t let him come in.” I think for a few seconds about the order in which I did things when I got home; I give a big yawn, suddenly feeling sleepy. “When I got in, I had a shower, but my heart was racing from the coke so I took a couple of Valium. They’re only a low dose, so I had a glass of wine as well.” Jackson’s shaking his head at me.
“Are you fucking serious? You took two Valium and then had a glass of wine?” I nod and screw up my eyes.
“I think I drunk the whole bottle.”
“Great, it gets better! Are you fucking stupid, George?” I don’t honestly know.
“I don’t know, Jax, I don’t know what I was thinking. I checked my messages on my phone, and for some reason, don’t ask me why, but I texted Cam.” As I speak, it all starts to come back to me.
“Cam, as in Cameron, the bloke you—”
“Yes,” I interrupt him.
“Why?” he asks.
“I don’t know… Something happened. During the night, something happened and it reminded me of him. I was… I felt lonely, and I don’t know, I just always felt safe with him. I just texted him and then he called me, but I can’t remember what was said.” I rack my brain, and I remember I was tired and just wanted to sleep; I just wanted to shut my brain up for a while.
And then it hits me.
Oh, shit.
The Valium.
My eyes shoot up and meet Jackson’s.
“I forgot,” I whisper.