“For fuck’s sake,” Ashley sighs from across the table. “Will someone just say something?”
“Thanks for tonight,” Cam starts. “Lennon, Jamie, thanks for inviting me into your beautiful home, and all of you, thanks for making me feel welcome.” He takes a deep breath and rubs his hand over the stubble on his jaw that I wouldn’t let him shave off before we came out tonight. “Don’t think that I don’t appreciate and understand that this is probably a bit weird and probably difficult for you all as well. Sean was a big part of this family’s life for a very long time and he’s gone and suddenly here I am.” I watch him as he seems to look everyone in the eye. “I don’t want it to be awkward. I don’t want you not talking about Sean just because I’m here,” he shrugs, “and the thing is, I’m planning on being around for a while, well for good actually.” He pulls me in and kisses my temple. “Georgia and I bought a house today. We sign the paperwork tomorrow.”
There’re whoops and cheers, handshakes and cuddles. Len gets the champers out of the fridge that we brought with us and we all have a glass, Jim, Ash and Sam, all only having a tiny amount, I notice.
“So what’s your news, Jim?” I look across at my best friend and ask. She leans around Lennon and looks at Ash. “Right, I don’t want you to get mad,” she starts. I have no idea where this is going to go.
“After our little conversation at your mum’s the other night, Ash and I went to see Doctor Shepherd today.” My mouth is instantly dry. Doctor Shepherd is my fertility doctor, my baby maker. Why’ve they been to see him?
“We just wanted to be absolutely clear on what would be required of us, and because this is going to affect us and our families, the boys came with us too.” My head starts to spin. I’m holding one of Cam’s hands with both of mine, gripping it is probably closer to the correct term. They’ve changed their minds. I already know what they’re going to tell me. They’ve had time to think and they’ve changed their minds.
“What we’ve decided, George, and I know you’re not gonna like it.” Oh, God, the salmon fillet I had for dinner is about to make its way back up. “The thing is, you’re such a stress head and control freak, George, that we think the best way to go about all of this is for me and Ash to go and see him and have all of our procedures carried out without you being there.” My brain can’t process what she’s saying. It’s trying its hardest but remains completely blank. I’m starting to freak out. My breathing starts to alter and I get that familiar tingle in my toes. I don’t understand what they’re saying to me.
It’s been such a good week, a week where I’ve began to feel like me, like Georgia again. I’ve allowed myself to live, to love, to hope and dream, to feel, and that will be my downfall, allowing myself to feel. I shouldn’t have let that happen. I shouldn’t have allowed that, because now as it all gets pulled away from under me again. I just know the pain will crush me.
“Georgia,” I look up as Marley says my name, “breathe, G, breathe.” He shakes his head crossly. “See, this is exactly the reason we’re gonna do things this way. Look at the state you get yourself in.”
Someone places a glass of water in my hand and I take a sip. Cam kneels down in front of my chair and looks up at me with worried eyes.
“You okay, Kitten?” I nod. I’m not okay. I’m shaking and I feel clammy.
I look around at seven worried faces. Sam’s crying and gripping Bailey’s hand; the pair of them have hardly said a word all evening.
“Did you listen to all of that? Did you take any of what I said in?”
I shake my head at Jimmie. Ash starts to talk. “George, this is how it’s gonna happen. Starting from now, Jim and I are on a health kick. We’re gonna do everything we can to get knocked up with yours and King dick here’s kid. We’ve both agreed to support each other, and with the boys backing us as well, we’re gonna eat healthy, cut right down on the alcohol intake, no smoking, no drugs. We’re gonna be in the best possible shape we can be to give these babies a chance of being born. The problem is though, G, you being around makes us twitchy.” I frown as I listen to her words, my head still spinning. I have the beginnings of a migraine and a pain keeps shooting right through my eye. “We don’t want to worry about you worrying, George, so when you decide that you’re ready to go ahead with this, we want you to just leave it with us, just let us and the doctors do our thing.”
“You still wanna do this for us? You’re not saying no?”