“Why’re the newspapers interested in you two?” Marian asks and I wonder where her accent is from. It’s definitely not from London. “Bloody hell, Georgia, oh, my love, I’ve just realised who you are. Oh, darling, I am so very sorry for your loss.” I don’t know what to say, and without even thinking, I reach back out for Cam’s hand and feel grateful when he laces his fingers through mine.
“Thank you, Marian.” I stare down at my now cold eggs, too scared to look up in case I cry. I do okay most of the time; it’s when people are nice, or when they ask me if I’m okay, that’s when I fall apart. Well actually, that’s a lie; I fall apart a lot, but generally it’s not in front of people I’ve never met before.
“You better bloody look after this girl. No one should have to go through what she has.” A tear catches on my eyelash. “Oh, darling, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” I shake my head. I want to cry, but Cam’s here. How can I cry for my dead husband in front of the man I now claim to be in love with. I’m so torn, and then his big hand is around my jaw, raising my face so I have to look at him.
“Let it out, Kitten. If you need to cry, then just go for it, baby. Don’t be ashamed. Don’t ever be ashamed to cry for what you lost.” He stands and turns my stool around so I’m facing him and wraps his big arms around me, just holding me and letting me cry. I can hear Marian sniffing and blowing her nose behind me. I look up at Cam. I know he’ll moan if I say sorry so I whisper, “Thank you,” and give him the best smile I can manage.
*
After breakfast, I go in search of my phone. The battery’s flat when I find it down the side of the sofa, but luckily Cam has the same phone as me and I use his charger. I lean on his desk as I wait for it to ping to life. Cam’s in his office talking on the phone when the buzzer goes on the intercom. He winks as he walks his sexy-self past me to answer it. My phone vibrates and lights up, just as I hear a female voice saying over the intercom, “Open this fucking door now, before I tell every one of these journalists the exact nature of our relationship.” I poke my head out of the office and look at Cam. He rubs his hand over his jaw, then puts both his hands on his hips, then one hand back to his jaw. He presses the entry button on the intercom unit and then puts both his hands back on his hips. I can only assume that Tamara is on her way up and I hate the way Cam is standing with his back to me, shoulders slumped, looking defeated.
“Cam?” He turns and faces me. “It’s okay, would you like me to wait upstairs?”
He frowns and shakes his head. “We doing this?” he gestures between us and I give him a little shake of my head, not understanding his question. “Are we together, Kitten, a couple? Are we letting the world know we’re a couple or are we gonna hide, like what we have is a dirty little secret?” I look over his face.
“We’re together, Tiger. I’m not hiding us from anyone.”
He smiles as he says, “I love the fuck out of you, Kitten.”
“I fucking love the fuck out of you, Tiger.”
“You ready for this? She’s gonna be a complete bitch.” I shrug, acting braver than I feel and note to myself that Cam must be stressed; he never picked me up on my swearing.
“What does she know about us?” Feeling a little panicked that she might tell the press about mine and Cam’s office door coupling, he shakes his head.
“She knows we were together for a while. She knows that I was in love with you.”
“Was?” I chew on the inside of my lip as I watch him.
“She knows that I was in love with you. I never told her I’m still in love with you after all these years. I didn’t want the whole world to know that I’m completely fucked where you’re concerned. I wanted to be left with some dignity.” I can’t help but smile at that.
“What you smiling at, Kitten?” He rakes his teeth over his bottom lip and gestures with his chin as he asks. I don’t actually know what I’m smiling at. I just feel happy and it’s such a nice sensation. It’s like a little ball of warmth in my chest and my belly.
“You, Tiger, I’m smiling at you.”
“And why’s that?”
“Coz you just make me smile,” I say with a shrug.
He’s suddenly serious, “As much as I love seeing you smile, you don’t have to fake it. If you’re having a bad day, just say. I’ve been there. I know how they can just come out of nowhere. Don’t ever hold it inside, Kitten, because I will know.” He nods as he speaks and I nod in reply because I don’t dare attempt to speak. “He was your husband. I’m not…” He struggles for a few seconds. “Just because I said all that shit about being second best, it doesn’t mean you can’t cry about him in front of me. That’s all I’m saying.”
The front door buzzes and I jump.