The Spiral Down (The Fall Up #2)

“He’s scared. This is not the time to quit on him.”


I laughed, and it held God’s-honest humor. “Actually, I’m pretty sure that is the exact moment to quit. I don’t have it in me to play games. You want to talk scared? I’m fucking terrified of your best friend. And you want to know why?”

“Evan…”

“Because I was scared he would do exactly what he did. Work his way into my life, consume me, and then leave my ashes blowing in the wind as he traveled to the next guy.”

“Evan, he didn’t leave. He’s crazy about you. He just doesn’t know how to come back.”

I pointed at the front door. “There’s a door right fucking there. All he has to do is walk through it.”

“It’s not that easy for him,” she said defensively.

And that’s when I lost it. “Yes, it is that easy! I would take him back zero questions asked. Jesus, Levee. I miss him. His laugh. His randomness. The way he can captivate me from across a room. The rush I felt when we were together. It was the closest thing to flying I’ve ever experienced with my feet on the ground. I would do anything to have him back. How fucking sad is that? He damn near breaks me, and I can’t even slam the fucking door in his face.”

She smiled. “That’s not sad at all. That’s why I’m sitting here. Let me give you some info on Henry and then you can decide what you want to do with it. Okay? Just hear me out.”

I leaned forward, propping myself on my fists on the counter. “And who’s going to hear me out? Sure as fuck not Henry. He ran out of here like his ass was on fire because he found out I was bisexual.” I laughed, but it held no humor. “I wasn’t straight enough for the man I was falling in love with. Do you have any idea how much that hurt?”

Her smile fell flat. “I do now.”

I instantly felt guilty. She didn’t deserve my wrath. She was only trying to help, but the longer we talked, the more jaded I became. I wanted him back more than anything, but I couldn’t magically be who he wanted me to be. That’s not how relationships worked. People seek out a mate who can offer comfort and unconditional acceptance. But the way Henry had made me feel that night as he’d lost his shit because of my sexuality had been anything but. There was nothing wrong with who I was. So fucking what I wasn’t straight. So fucking what I wasn’t gay. If he didn’t accept that, I was better off alone.

“I’m sorry. You should go.”

“His name is Henry Gilchrist,” she announced.

“I know,” I called over my shoulder, walking to the front door.

“He— Wait. What? He told you that?” she gasped.

I yanked the door open and motioned for her to go. “Yep. Weeks ago.”

A sinister smile pulled at the corners of her mouth, but she didn’t budge from the stool. “Now, we’re getting somewhere.”

“Any way you can get there faster? I have shit to do today,” I smarted.

“Sure.” She grinned confidently. “He loves you.”

My back shot ramrod straight, and as much as I wanted to deny it, hope swirled in my chest. “Don’t say that.”

“Why? It’s the truth. He loves you, Evan.” She tipped her head to the side. “I mean, he’s a dumbass, but he loves you. For the last week, I’ve been listening to him bitch and moan about how much he misses you. He hasn’t been out gallivanting around town or moving on to the next guy. There is no other guy for him.”

I raked a hand through my hair and tried to pretend that that little bit of information hadn’t ignited a spark inside me all over again. “I think you’re wrong.”

She pushed to her feet and lowered her voice to a scary whisper. “Did he tell you about Robin?”

“Yes,” I replied curtly.

Her brown eyes lit and the proverbial light bulb flashed over her head. “Did he tell you how he grew up?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, wow,” she breathed.

I chewed the inside of my cheek, equally interested in and dreading whatever she was going to say next. I was barely hanging on to what little resolve I had about asking her to leave. I hadn’t needed her “oh, wow” to make me curious, but it really fucking had.

“Evan, that’s huge for him.” She walked over and gently pulled the door from my hand before swinging it shut. “You can Google all of that about him. It’s not a secret. But never, not once—including with me—has he voluntarily told someone about his past. He doesn’t trust people with it. He wants people to see the confident and successful man he is now, not the broken, insecure boy he still secretly harbors inside.”

I blinked. Henry had openly given me that. I’d had no idea what it’d meant to him at the time or I would have offered him the broken parts of my past too. However, now, I was happy I hadn’t.

“Can you just listen to me for ten minutes? I’m not wrong about this. He loves you, and after this conversation, I’m pretty sure you’re in love with him too.”

I clamped my mouth shut.