The incendiary spark I felt for Henry needed to be extinguished before it had the chance to explode.
I paced a path in front of the bedroom door, waiting for him to emerge.
And emerge he did, dripping wet and in nothing but a towel wrapped around his hips. Drops of water glistened on his tan skin.
He froze when he saw me. Surprise and excitement passed over his face, but they quickly faded, leaving nothing but bitterness behind.
We spoke at the same time.
“You have a quickie?”
“Are you okay?”
The latter was me.
We responded at the same time too.
“What?”
“I’m fantastic.”
I didn’t believe him. Sure, he looked edible—but not fantastic. He was hurting, and just from looking at him, I felt the echo of his pain.
“Henry—”
“She kick you out?”
I had to clear the lump from my throat before I could answer. “Who?”
“Jessica,” he spat.
My head snapped back at his accusation. “What? No! I just went to make sure she got back to her room, Henry. Nothing happened.”
He rolled his eyes, walking to the snack basket he’d bought me. “It’s okay, Evan. I get it.”
He got it? Thank fucking God, because I sure as hell didn’t get it. I had no idea why I felt as though I were constantly fighting a maelstrom of physical desperation every time he walked into a room. I didn’t understand how, after all these years of avoiding men, I was suddenly enamored by one I barely even knew. I didn’t understand how he had enraptured me with a single stare from across a crowded arena. I didn’t know why the heat from his flames consumed me like never before. I didn’t know why my mind was screaming at me to run as far away as I could, but my body absolutely refused. I didn’t know why I’d felt his pain in the limo as he’d admitted he was gay as if he had been coming out for the very first time. I didn’t know why I was still standing in that room with him when I was positive this was going to be a disaster.
But, if he held the answers to even one of those questions, I needed to know too.
I grabbed his bicep and pulled him until his shoulder hit my chest. “You get what, Henry?”
Shock registered in his eyes. “Um…I just meant, if you did want Jessica, I’d get it.”
“I don’t.” The words shot from my mouth like an involuntary reflex.
I didn’t understand that, either.
“Fuck!” I shouted in frustration.
After reluctantly releasing him, I locked my fingers and rested them on the top of my head.
“Evan?”
Evan. It was like a feather down my spine.
I closed my eyes and painfully whispered, “Please don’t say my name.”
His hand cupped the back of my neck. “Okay, then, Maverick. Tell me what’s going on.”
I sighed at the horrible nickname and opened my eyes. His plump bottom lip was the first thing that came into my view.
“I wish I could, Henry.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “Whatever it is, I can promise you I’ll understand. I’m betting I even feel the same way.” He dropped his forehead to mine. “All you have to do is just say the words and I’ll make it happen. Whatever it is.”
But saying it aloud was something I was nowhere near ready for. I couldn’t admit why I’d made all of those impossible rules and promises to myself after Shannon had left. No more than I could forget why I’d made them in the first place.
The memories sliced through me. Not again. No fucking way.
“Tonight shouldn’t have happened,” I lied, the words feeling like razorblades coming from my mouth. “It was entirely unprofessional of me.”
“Unprofessional?” He leaned away, obviously confused by my sudden switch.
“You’re my boss. And I crossed the line.”
His hands fell away. “What the hell are you talking about? Evan, I drew that line, and I invited you to cross it. I’ve already told you your job is safe. Drop the professional shit.”
“Okay. Sorry. Consider it dropped. All of it. I’m just gonna go to bed now. You can let yourself out. Thanks again for a truly unforgettable experience.”
I meant the royal treatment at the concert, the lavish hotel, the limo, and the gift baskets. But deep down, I was thanking him for reminding me that fire still existed in the world.
He actually stumbled back a step before recovering. “Ah, yes. The experience.” He dropped his voice, but the whisper did nothing to hide his dejection. “You’re welcome, Evan.” Turning toward the bar, he gave me his back.
That was the end. I’d apologized, and now, I just needed to make my getaway.
And, as soon as we got home, I needed to start job-hunting immediately.
But, regardless of what I told myself, my feet wouldn’t move.
My hands wouldn’t stop aching for him.
My mouth still craved his.
My eyes couldn’t even look away from his back.
Walk away.
I took a step toward him.
Jesus Christ. Go to fucking bed.
Another step.