“Nope. But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to try to breast-feed him.” I waggled my eyebrows.
“Dear. God,” he mumbled, cracking a rare grin.
I gasped, clutching my heart. “Did you just smile?”
His face fell. “Don’t start with me.”
“You did!”
Macy leaned in close and whispered, “It’s because you said breast. But I’m not sure if it’s because he’s hungry or horny.”
He glowered at us.
“Hungry,” I replied. “Carter’s asexual. Best I can figure is he’s some sort of robotic super soldier gone wrong.”
“You got it,” he replied, opening a magazine. “I was a failed prototype. My punishment was being sent here to work for you.”
“You want me to give him a lap dance? See if it sparks anything?” Macy offered, digging through her bag before applying a thick coat of lip gloss.
“Nah. I’ll go first.”
Carter’s head shot up, and he leveled me with a death glare.
I threw my hands up in surrender. “Easy there, big man. It was a joke.”
“He’s scary,” Macy whispered as if he couldn’t hear from three feet away.
“That’s why I keep him. Well, that and because he’s so good to me.” I smiled. “Hey, Carter. I need the pilot’s cell phone number.”
He didn’t look up when he casually replied, “No.”
“Okay, great. Just text it to me whenever.”
“No.” He absently turned the page.
Macy desperately tried to stifle a giggle.
The corners of my mouth tipped up. “See? He adores me.” Shooting her wide eyes, I mouthed the word robot at her.
“I heard that,” Carter told his magazine.
Macy and I both burst into a loud round of laughter. And, while I couldn’t be certain, I swear I saw Carter’s lips twitch as well.
“Fine. No phone number, but I want him on my payroll as my new pilot.”
Now that got Carter’s attention. After abruptly closing the magazine, he tossed it on the seat beside him. “You’re seriously going to trust the kid to fly you just to get him in the sack?”
“Who said anything about flying? I don’t have to be on a plane again for several months.”
He crossed his thick arms over his chest. “Exactly. Why would you hire a pilot now? Do you have any idea how expensive that’s going be? Even part time is going to cost you a mint.”
Lifting a finger in the air, I corrected him. “Full time. I’ll find other duties for him to do in his downtime.” I winked.
“I’m pretty sure that’s called prostitution.”
“Po-tay-toe. Pa-tah-toe. Besides, I only need the time with him. All extracurricular activities will be performed off the clock.”
Unless I could help it. In which case, the line between work and pleasure would be seriously blurred.
Macy piped up. “I think this is a fabulous idea. But, if he doesn’t bend to your will and stays on the lady train, I want first dibs.”
“Deal.”
“What is wrong with you?” Carter spat. “Why can’t you just sleep with groupies like everyone else?”
I curled my lip in disgust. “Uh, I believe you answered your own question. Nasty ninths aren’t exactly my thing. Besides, why do you care?” It wasn’t like this was the first time he’d ever seen me trying to seduce a man into my bed. And, honestly, I’d gone through far greater lengths than just hiring someone in order to make it happen.
He rolled his eyes. “I only care because we all know how this is going to end. You have to stop trying to convert the straight guys. It’s always a train wreck, and by the looks of Evan, this isn’t going to be any different.” He scratched the back of his head. “Shit. I really wish you would just find a nice gay guy and settle down.”
I gasped, dramatically slapping my hand against the seat beside me, the other clenching my heart. “Did you hear that, Macy?” I whispered, never tearing my eyes off him.
She sucked in a shocked breath. “You’re right. He totally adores you.”
Batting my lashes, I allowed false tears to pool in my eyes. Then I made a show of quivering my chin. “I…I love you too, Papa.”
“Jesus fucking Christ. Forget I said anything,” he grumbled.
“What, no hug?” I pouted.
“Fuck off, Henry,” he returned.
He wasn’t mad. That was just how we worked.
The other way we worked was that I knew with an absolute certainty he’d ensure Evan Roth was added to my payroll no matter the cost.
“’SUP, MAN!” SCOTT said, clasping my hand then pulling me in for a one-armed hug.
I closed my front door behind him. “Not a whole lot. Want a beer?”
He looked around my house. “Where’s Nikki?”
Good fucking question.