I keep that to myself, and instead say, “Yes.”
She looks to Jules next. “I have a Mom now? A real Mom. You’re not just my stepmom anymore?”
Jules’s hand jerks in mine, so I squeeze hers. Her face turns red, and I know she’s fighting her tears.
“Yes,” Jules croaks. “You have a Mom. I’m your Mom. If you want me to be.”
Her eyes close in pain when Aria looks away from her and to Mom and Dad.
“And you’re still my Gamma and Pa?”
“We’ll always be your Gamma and Pa,” Mom answers immediately.
The uncertainty and fear are what do me in. That and Jules’s silent struggle on the other side of Aria. I need them both closer.
I pick Aria up and put her in my lap then scoot over so I can pull Jules to my side. This is my family, and I fucking love them with every single inch of my heart, every breath I take, and every part of my soul.
The tight threads around my heart loosen when Aria puts her arms around my neck and hugs me tight. Her innocent child scent surrounds me, and I breath it in deeply, loving the smell.
Aria pulls back, and her lip goes back between her teeth. She releases it and says softly, “I love you… Daddy.”
I have to tip my head back and blink away my tears. She fucking guts me, totally unmans me with that one word.
Daddy.
She doesn’t know, couldn’t possibly understand, what she just gave me. She gave me the entire fucking world with one simple word.
I look back at her and beam at her with a big grin.
“I love you too, baby girl.”
Her own lips form a smile before she turns to Jules. She crawls from my lap and onto hers, giving her the same tight hug she just gave me.
“I do want you to be my momma.”
A hiccoughed sob leaves Jules’s lips. “Good, because I want to be your mom so very much.”
“I love you… Momma.”
Tears slide down Jules’s cheek, but her smile is megawatt and stunning. Another favorite of mine.
“I love you too, Aria.”
I lift both my girls in my lap, and I hold them. I hold my family close to my heart, knowing life couldn’t get any better than this. It was a damn bumpy road, and I’m sure we’ll find more bumps along the way, but for right now, in this very moment, my life is complete.
It can’t possibly get any better than this.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Jules
OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD! I repeat the words over and over in my head as I furiously twist the material of my skirt. I’m terrified, hopeful, and anxious all at the same time, and there’s no hope of the trio of feelings going away anytime soon. There’ve only been two other times I’ve been this nervous: when we found out Aria was our child and when we told her. We’ve been parked in front of the two-story brick house with black shutters for at least five minutes while I try to work up the courage to open the door. Luca’s been incredibly patient with me, and for that, I’m extremely grateful.
“Hey,” he calls, and I drag my eyes away from the house that I know like the back of my hand and look at him. I’ve always found Luca incredibly good-looking. The first time I saw him, he struck me dumb with his looks and intensity. He’s not the traditional handsome, not with the gauges in his ears, eyebrow ring, and tattoos marking over half of his body. His looks are more rugged, hard, and passionately beautiful.
His hand cups my cheek. “We can do this another day. You don’t need to push yourself or make yourself uncomfortable.”
I shake my head against his palm. “No. I want to do it now. I’ve waited long enough because of my fear. Besides,” I look back at Aria, who’s sitting quietly in her seat listening to us. She’s excited and it warms my heart, “it’s time they meet their granddaughter.”
His smile settles some of my nerves. When he leans forward and presses his lips against mine, even more melt away.
I pull in a fortified breath and grip the handle to my door. “I’m ready.” I look back at Aria. “Are you ready?”
“Yes!” she chirps, and I realize something with her enthusiastic reply. Even if this doesn’t go over well, I’m going to be okay. We’re all going to be okay, because we’ll have each other, Luca’s family included.
Luca and I thrust open our doors at the same time and climb out. He helps Aria from the back and we all meet at the front of the car. My nerves are still shot, but not as much.
When my memories of Luca came back, along came the ones of the last time I saw my parents. There was one thing Theo didn’t lie about. I’m not sure if it was because he knew or just made a wild guess, but my parents did disown me. They hated the thought of me marrying someone they thought was beneath me. Luca met them twice and both times they had no qualms about showing their distaste. The last time I saw them, I told them we were getting married. They made their ultimatum, and when I chose Luca, they told me to leave and never come back. It hurt, really hurt, but I thought over time they would get over their prejudices and see how much Luca made me happy. Unfortunately, I’ve had to wait seven years to see if my assessment will come true.
I hope with all my heart they will accept Luca and Aria, because to think about the alternative rips me to shreds. They are and always will be the two most important people in my life.
We walk up the driveway, Aria between us, each of her hands engulfed in one of ours. It’s been six weeks since we told her she’s our daughter, and she’s taken to the idea really well, but I know she still misses Theo. Sometimes I see sadness in her eyes, and I know she’s thinking about him. He was her dad for almost seven years; I would never expect her to simply stop loving him.
Her birthday is next week, so we’re taking her out of school for a few days and going on a vacation to the beach. She’s never been, and I’m really excited to be there the first time she sees the ocean. I’ve missed so many firsts, and I refuse to miss any more.
I lick my dry lips when the big red door looms before us. I was eighteen the last time I saw this door, but it still looks bigger than I remember.
Aria squeezes my jittery hand, and I look down at her. “It’s going to be okay, Momma. I just know they’re going to be happy to see you again.”
I barely hold back the tears threatening to form. I’m the adult. I’m the one who’s supposed to offer comfort, not the other way around. We’ve kept as much from Aria as we could, not wanting to completely spoil her perception of Theo. Theo keeping my family away is one of the things she didn’t need to know, so we’ve only told her I haven’t seen my family since before I was “sleeping.”
“Thank you, baby. I hope you’re right.”
“I am. You’ll see.”
I look at Luca when he chuckles and smile softly at him. I never knew I could love someone as fiercely as I love these two people. My husband and daughter. My smile widens when those two labels enter my mind. It’s still hard to believe at times.
We climb the steps and stop in front of the door. It takes me a moment to gather the courage to lift my hand to knock. Before my knuckles hit the wood, the door’s pulled open.
All the air in my lungs whooshes out on an agonizing breath and my body freezes as I stare into a pair of familiar amber eyes that I’ve missed so much. The part of my heart I reserve only for my parents cracked when I woke and discovered my family didn’t want me. Now, as I look at my mom, noting the age lines beside her eyes and the abundance of gray in her brown hair, my heart finally shatters, sending excruciating pain splintering through me.
“Jules,” she whispers, instant tears filling her eyes. “Is that really you?”
“Mom.” My voice is raw and filled with so much pain there’s no hope for me masking it.