“I wanted to thank you for standing up for me against Theo. I know it can’t be easy because he’s your brother.”
This close, even in the dim light, I see the irises in his electric blue eyes swallow up the black pupils, making his eyes look even more stunning.
“My brother is a fucking idiot,” he rumbles softly.
I nod my agreement.
We stand there, just staring at each other, both deep in thought. I break our stare, unable to hold his remorseful one any longer. It’s then that I spot the dried blood on his hand. A sharp breath leaves my lips and tears prick the back of my eyes as I reach for his hand and bring it closer to my face.
“What did you do?” I ask, unable to hold back the worry in my voice.
“It’s nothing,” he mumbles.
With the low lighting, I can’t see the full damage, so I grip his wrist and tug him to the kitchen and over to the sink. When I get a good look, my heart fractures at the mangled mess of his knuckles.
“Where’s your first aid kit?”
When he doesn’t answer right away, I glance up. His eyes search mine, something dark playing along the edges.
“Luca?”
He clears his throat. “Under the medicine cabinet in the bathroom.”
I leave him to go grab the first aid kit then bring it back with me, along with a clean washcloth I found in the small closet in the bathroom. Setting it down on the counter, I take out gauze, peroxide, ointment, and surgical tape and place them beside it. He’s leaning against the counter, his eyes on me the whole time, making me a jittery mess.
I turn the water on, grab his hand, and place it underneath the stream. Some of the blood washes away, but some has dried and sticks to the broken skin.
“This wasn’t done just by hitting Theo,” I state without looking at him.
“No.”
I peek up at him and still find his eyes watching me. I look back down, wet the cloth, and gently rub it over the cuts.
“How?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
It does matter, because I know whatever happened, happened because of me. It’s because of me he was hurt. A searing pain lances my chest, but I force the discomfort away.
Once most of the blood is gone, I pour peroxide over the wounds, the liquid foaming. I pour another generous amount.
“I’m sorry,” I say softly. I can’t stand the thought of me causing him pain.
A hand appears in my vision a second before it cups my cheek and he lifts my face up to his. I blink away the tears that formed in my eyes.
His voice is deep, but unyielding when he says, “Don’t ever apologize for anything to do with this situation. You are the only one innocent here. You have nothing to be sorry for.”
I nod and close my eyes. Unconsciously, my head tilts to the side, enjoying the roughness of his hand on my face. I don’t know where all these feelings for Luca are coming from, but in the few hours I’ve been here, my awareness of him has intensified. It’s like I feel free when he’s near.
“Jules.” Luca’s whisper has my eyes opening.
“What?” I whisper back.
His throat bobs, and torment flashes over his face, along with some other emotions I’m too hopeful to name.
“We should go to bed.”
My eyes widen and flutters form in my stomach. The thought filters through my mind that I’m not near as afraid to go to bed with Luca as I was with Theo. The thought of lying in bed with Luca’s arms wrapped around me actually sounds very appealing.
Sensing my train of thought, one corner of his mouth tips up. “I meant you in your bed and me in mine.”
A nervous laugh escapes my lips. I look down and finish with his hand. Once it’s cleaned and bandaged, I throw away the used gauze and put everything back in the kit.
“Thank you.”
I turn to face him, offering a small smile. “You’re welcome.”
After a moment of silence, he takes a step back from me. “I’ll see you in the morning. If you need anything, come get me.”
I don’t want the night to be over, but I know we’re both exhausted from the day’s events. Besides, I’ll see him in the morning, just like he said.
“Okay,” I reply faintly.
“Good night, Jules.”
“Good night, Luca.”
I walk away, leaving him in the kitchen. Up until now, ever since I woke from the coma, and except for seeing Aria, I’ve dreaded what the following day would bring. Now though, I can’t wait for tomorrow.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Luca
I LIE IN BED, STIFF as a fucking board, for over an hour. My mind is all over the damn place, but one thing keeps pushing to the forefront.
Rape.
I close my eyes and clench my jaw.
I raped Jules. Or according to Theo I did. My worst fucking nightmare. The one thing I refused to think as I tried to remember what happened that day over seven years ago. That’s what has plagued me the most, because if someone is twisted and fucked in the mind enough to fixate on a woman and attack her, then he’s capable of even more heinous acts. Like fucking rape.
Thousands of icy shards of pain stab at my chest when I think of hurting Jules in that way. How in the fuck could I do something so violent? I’ve always had a volatile temper, and I’ve done some pretty fucked-up shit in my life, but that’s never something I would have thought I would be able to do.
I’m still not sure I believe Theo, but I can’t imagine him lying about something so vile and repulsive. Nevertheless, even the thought of it being a possibility makes me want to dip my head in acid to rid myself of the images conjuring in my head.
What I don’t understand is Jules’s utter lack of fear toward me. Sure, I saw the initial shock and pain on her face after Theo spewed those hateful and damning words, but once he left, that pain was gone and there was no fear. What amazed me more was she wanted to stay. I was half expecting her to leave with Theo. But then again, her memories of me supposedly raping her are absent. Theo’s attempted rape is fresh. Of course, she would pick the lesser of the two evils. But when I mentioned her staying with my parents, a place where she would be completely safe from both of us, she refused. And that shit I just don’t understand.
I also think about the look I saw in her eyes as she was doctoring my hand. I felt her nervous tremors, but I saw a deep-seated need too. A need that called to me, despite the abhorrence of what I was accused of. Disgust slithers in my stomach as I remember the desire that coursed through me, is still coursing through me, but no matter how much I try to push it away, it’s still fucking there.
I’m going to burn in hell and deserve every minute of it for wanting something I should never want. For taking something that was never mine to have. I’m going to make sure Theo is right there with me too.
My blunt nails bite into my palms as I think about the damage I wanted to deliver to his fucking face. I waited until I knew Aria wasn’t with him before landing two good punches, but it wasn’t nearly enough. The only thing that stopped me from exacting vengeance on Jules’s behalf was sensing her approach from behind me. I didn’t want her to see that side of me, because I seriously doubted my ability to stop once I really got started. Images of him on top of Jules, forcing himself on her, played over and over in my head until it nearly blinded me with rage.
Pushing those thoughts out of my mind, I get up from the bed. Feeling like a perverted asshole, I still make my way out of my room and stop at the door partially opened next to mine. It wouldn’t have surprised me to find the door closed and locked. I know I shouldn’t do what I’m about to do, but there’s no way I’ll be getting any sleep tonight without checking to make sure she’s okay.