When I enter her room, the scent of wildflowers soothes something deep inside me. The desolate feeling that’s been plaguing me instantly vanishes. My muscles relax for the first time in days. As fucked up as it sounds, I feel like this is where I belong.
I walk to the bed, take a seat, and just stare at the woman who’s been haunting my dreams for years and consuming my thoughts for weeks. She’s beautiful, just as she always is. Her hair is once again braided and lying on the pillow beside her head. She’s on her back, but her head is tilted sideways, so I’ve got a good look at her gorgeous face. I reach up and finger the end of her braid.
“Theo told me about you.” I talk softly. I no longer worry about being kicked out if I’m caught. Theo’s my brother, and I shouldn’t be here, but he damn well will give permission if he’s not willing to be here himself.
“I have no right to be here, but I feel like I should.” I pull in a deep breath before letting it out slowly. Most people would feel strange talking to someone who probably can’t hear them, but I don’t with Jules. It feels right to talk to her. “Theo’s an asshole for leaving you here alone all the time. I doubt you can hear me, but if somehow you can, I apologize on his behalf.”
I release her hair and lean back in my seat, lacing my fingers over my stomach. My legs stretch out in front of me, my knees falling to the sides, getting comfortable. I’m tired and hungry, but getting up and walking away isn’t an option at the moment. I drop my chin to my chest, deciding to close my eyes for a few minutes.
MY EYES FLICKER OPEN when I hear a thump. The first thing I see are my hands still laced together over my stomach. When I lift my head, a dull pain resonates in my neck from staying in the same position for so long. Closing my eyes, I tilt my head back and twist it from side to side, loosening the muscles.
When I scoot my ass back in the seat, I notice the nurse call remote has fallen to the floor. I pick it up, then stand to wind it around one of the rails to keep it from slipping off again.
My body locks in place and my jaw damn near falls to the floor when I look at Jules. She’s lying there with her eyes wide fucking open looking at the ceiling. The first thing I notice is the brilliant color of her eyes. Just like in my dreams, they’re a bright golden amber. She blinks slowly a couple times. She must not see me, because she keeps looking at the ceiling like it’s the most fascinating thing she’s ever seen.
I hold still, not wanting to startle her, but also desperately wanting her eyes directed at me.
Swallowing to wet my suddenly dry throat, I murmur softly, “Jules.”
Her lips part. She blinks a couple more times before her head slowly turns in my direction. The minute her eyes lock on mine, a rush of air leaves my lungs. Fuck, but they are striking.
I don’t get a chance to enjoy her eyes being on me before they fill with fear. I frown, confused at the stark terror forming on her face. I reach out a hand to her to try to quell the fear but drop it when her lips tremble. Her hands clutch the sides of her head as her mouth opens and she lets out a god-awful scream. I stumble back a step and knock into the chair, stunned at her hysterical behavior. She starts thrashing on the bed, her legs kicking the blanket off her as she presses herself as close to the railing as she can to get away from me. The whole time, her wide eyes stay connected with my astonished ones, like she’s accusing me of something.
A nurse rushes in, and I numbly step to the side to give her room. Another rushes in seconds later with a doctor following closely behind. They both go to the other side of the bed.
“NO!” Jules screams over and over again, clutching her head. “NONONO!”
The ache in my chest that’s always present in my dreams is back, except it’s ten times worse. The pain I feel seeing her suffer in the flesh makes the pain of seeing her suffer in my dreams feel like a fucking paper cut. It’s agonizing and all-consuming and takes my damn breath away.
I want nothing more than to go to her, to hold her against me, and make all her fears go away, but it’s me she fears, and that thought tears me apart.
“Mr. Hendrix, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
I ignore the nurse trying to usher me out of the room. I can’t take my eyes off Jules as she fights the doctor and nurses. They yell back and forth to each other as they try to calm her down. I grow angry when they hold her down and stick a needle into her IV. I force my legs to hold still, instead of rushing over and yanking them away. I know they’re professionals and only trying to help her, but I still don’t fucking like it.
“Mr. Hendrix.” The nurse tries again, grabbing my arm. “Theo!”
It’s the use of my brother’s name that has me ripping my eyes away from the distraught girl in the bed. I stare down at the nurse, and her eyes soften in sympathy. “Please, just wait outside until the doctor calms down your wife and assesses her. He’ll come talk to you as soon as he can.”
I don’t correct her on her mistake of thinking I’m my brother. I just give her a stiff nod before looking back at Jules one more time. She’s no longer screaming due to the medicine now running through her veins, but her eyes are still on me. Tears fall from them, soaking the pillow beneath her head, and it makes me want to fall to my knees and scream.
Instead, with one final look and my chest feeling hollow, I turn on my heel and leave the room.
ME: WHERE ARE YOU?
Theo: At Mom’s. Why? What’s going on?
Instead of answering, I throw my phone in the cup holder, start my truck, and peel out of the hospital parking lot.
I have no idea what I plan to do once I see Theo; all I know is Jules doesn’t know me, so her reaction to me could only mean she thought I was Theo. Which means it’s him she’s afraid of. While that thought soothes something in my soul, it still sends a slow burn of anger in my veins.
Why in the fuck would Jules be afraid of Theo? What could he have done to cause the terror I saw in her eyes?
My knuckles ache around the steering wheel as I navigate the streets to my parents’ house. I force my fingers to loosen and try to calm my ire. As much as it pisses me off, I need to give Theo the chance to explain first.
A few minutes later, I pull up behind Theo’s car parked at the curb in front of our parents’ house. I take a moment to pull in a couple of deep breaths until I feel in control again. Getting out of my truck, I walk up the driveway, and without bothering to knock, go inside. Mom’s always insisted that her house is open to her kids, and if she hears us knocking, she’ll kick our asses.
I find Mom, Dad, Theo, and Aria in the kitchen sitting at the table finishing up dinner. The minute my eyes meet Theo’s, the anger I pushed away on my drive over comes back.
“Heya, Uncle Luca!” Aria says loudly, waving a hand that’s holding a biscuit.
“Hey, boo.” Through my anger, I manage to give her a genuine smile. Aria brings the good out in people.
“Luca, honey, pull up a chair, and I’ll make you a plate.”
When Mom stands from the table, I hold up my hand.
“I’m not here for dinner, Mom,” I tell her, keeping my voice even. She still senses my turmoil and turns to walk over to me.
“Is everything okay?”
“Yeah.” I keep my voice quiet, so Aria doesn’t hear. “Do me a favor and take Aria in the backyard.”
She frowns; looks at Dad, then Theo, before bringing her eyes back to me.
“What’s going on?”
I grab the hand she placed on my arm and give it a gentle squeeze. “Please, Mom. We’ll talk later. I need to speak with Theo.”
After searching my eyes for a moment, she gives me a silent nod and walks around the table to Aria.
“Hey, munchkin. Come help Gamma pick some flowers for the table. These are looking a bit old.”
She holds her hand out for Aria to take. After stuffing the last bite of her biscuit in her mouth, she grabs Mom’s hand, hops down from the chair, and they both walk out the back door to the fenced-in backyard.
The minute the door is closed, Dad demands, “What’s wrong?”
I don’t look at him; my eyes are pinned on Theo as he watches me with tight lips and a frown.